Love Lessons From Two Can Play That Game

I was searching for something to watch on Netflix the other day, and lo and behold, one of my favorite comedies from my high school years:

Two Can Play That Game

Okay, so I’m completely aware that maybe a third of you have seen this movie. Probably less. If you haven’t seen it, it stars Vivica A. Fox and some other dude I wouldn’t recognize if I saw him in the line at Food Lion. Cute, though. In 2001, anyway.

The movie is basically a long tutorial on dating. The main character is dealing with issues with her man, and she takes viewers through a step-by-step guide on how to punish your man when he’s in the wrong, and if he’s worth keeping, how to get him back. The only thing she isn’t prepared for is the fact he’s playing the game too.

It’s a pretty funny movie, especially if you have any interest in the anatomy of dating.

As I was watching, I realized there are many nuggets of advice throughout. I started taking notes.

And here’s what I learned from Two Can Play That Game:

1. Men start to act up in the spring/early summer. It’s called breakup season – women wear skimpy clothes and men lose their damn minds.
2. The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and sports.
3. Men want a woman in public and a freak in private.
4. If you aren’ t sure if your man is cheating on you, hide some underwear at his house, too big or too small for you. Then find them and see what he has to say for himself.
5. The number one excuse of a cheating man: I was working late.
6. If you catch your guy doing something wrong:
   1. Act calm. Don’t panic. Stay cool and act like it doesn’t bother you one bit. Less is always best. Now he won’t know what to do.
   2. Never let your friends know the whole situation, because they will give you bad advice and ruin your confidence.
7. Whoever calls first after a fight loses ground.
8. The person who messes up first calls first.
9. When he calls you after a fight, never take the first call. Everything should be on your terms. Make him wait.
10. Break up with him before he breaks up with you. Whoever breaks up with the person first, wins.
11. When your man messes up, no matter how small, you have to punish him.
12. When your man is messing up, never deal with the woman. Always deal with the man. Because there is nothing worse than two women fighting over a man.
13. During a tough spot with your man, you need to make him jealous. You need a PR agent and a flunkie. Go to church. Be a little too friendly with another man. Hug him just a little too tightly. And do it in front of your PR agent (someone who spreads news fast). Your man will find out in short order and it’ll drive him crazy.
14. Need a date? Go to church. All the major players go to church. Why? Because all of the freaks go to church. Go to the club Saturday night. Wake your ass up and go to church the next morning. All the girls that were backing their ass up in the club are singing in the choir.
15. The CIA ain’t got shit on a woman with a plan.

Some of these are legit. You guess which ones.

What dating advice did you get from movies and TV?

Enjoy the long weekend, everyone!

Copyright 2012. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.