Simply Solo Spotlight: Tips for Dating Your Ex’s Best Friend
Today’s Simply Solo Spotlight is brought to us by Paul, a writer from babysittingjobs.com, a great resource for all things related to babysitting. Paul and his wife Julie both spend quite a bit of time coming up with ideas, blogging and researching childcare. Since kids really aren’t the focus area of Simply Solo, Paul has offered his advice on how to go about dating your ex’s best friend.
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Tips for Dating Your Ex’s Best Friend
It may not be the kosher thing to do post break up, but sometimes you can’t help but falling for someone you least expected. Your ex-boyfriend’s best friend. These things happen; it’s more common than most think. It’s a sticky situation and if not handled properly, it could leave you with two exes, instead of one. Here are some tips to help you date the forbidden best friend:
Notify: OK, so you don’t think your ex even deserves the right to know that you are now dating his best friend and frankly, he probably doesn’t deserve to know. However, our mothers taught us better and we should just take the mature, high road that we all hate. To save yourself from any further and unnecessary ex-boyfriend drama, have your boyfriend (ex’s best friend) sit his best friend down to let him know. Trust me, your ex would rather hear it from his bro than from his ex-lady friend.
Don’t gloat: The first thought for your ex and anyone who knows you and your ex is that you are dating his best friend to get back at him. If that’s the case, shame on you. But if you have fallen for him legitimately, that’s great! Just don’t gloat. Remember to be mature about it.
Don’t make him choose: Never make a man choose between his bro and you. Bro code is stronger than you think, plus messing up a friendship can really come back to haunt you. Your boyfriend probably is having a hard time as it is dealing with the feeling that he took his best friend’s girl. Be supportive and allow them to be friends.
Stay out of it: Whether they will remain friends depends on the break up and the level of friendship that your boyfriend and your ex have. In some cases, it won’t faze them, and other cases, they’ll say “peace out” faster than you can say “jealous much?” Let the boys handle it and stay out of their friendship.
Stay private: Your ex and your ex’s friends don’t need to know all the little deets about your new relationship with the best friend. The less they know, the less they will think differently about you, ask questions or tsk tsk in your general direction.
Don’t compare: It may be hard to not naturally allow your mind wander down the comparative road. Make a conscious effort to keep your ex and your boyfriend separate. Just because they are best friends doesn’t mean they are the same or that one did something better than the other. You are starting fresh – keep it that way.
Don’t be ashamed of who you have fallen for and remember that you are grown adults who can make decisions that benefit yourselves. Your happiness matters as much as your ex’s, so do what is best for you and your new boyfriend. There will be challenges, but the long road will be worth it. Good luck and happy dating!
Copyright 2012. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.