How To Make Friends After a Breakup

Today’s guest post is written by Paul Sanders, author of the eBook Get The Friends You Want. Paul teachers people how to overcome social hesitation and make friends. In his eBook, Paul shares advanced strategies on how to meet new people, talk to them in a way that makes them want to be your friend, make plans that people will LOVE to join you in, all without doing too much “work.” Download it here: Get The Friends You Want – Risk Free Trial

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If you’ve been through a breakup, you probably know how lonely it can feel after “he” or “she” is no longer part of your life.

That void that your partner leaves behind starts to scare you and make you feel a little depressed.

The best way to avoid feeling that boring, depressing void is to meet more friends, more often.

But, as it so often happens, when you are in a relationship, you tend to spend less and less time with your friends. You barely have time for your close friends… and NO time for casual friends.

So, after you break up, you ask yourself, “Where are my friends?” By that time, you realize two things… one: you need to “catch up with your friends,” and two: you are late!

So it’s time to make some new friends, right?

But, how do we usually feel after a breakup? A little down on confidence, vulnerable, and lonely… is that a good emotional state for making new friends? NOOOOOO.

 

LONELINESS IS A TRICKY BASTARD

By some weird biological mechanism, loneliness “tricks” your mind into believing that:

• Going to meet people is dangerous
• You’re going to get rejected if you go to socialize

If you don’t believe me, go ask John Cacioppo, who spent something like 20 years studying every aspect of loneliness. And while you’re at it, make sure you get an autographed version of his great 330-page book, named “Loneliness.”

 

THREE SOLID TIPS TO MAKE FRIENDS AFTER A BREAKUP

#1 Avoid “The Loneliness Trap”

The loneliness trap is a concept I named after what happens to us when we get lonely. Your mind “tricks” you into believing that you need to get away from people. Which makes you even lonelier, which makes you fear people even more… and it can go on like that for years.

I’ve seen people start to really think that there is something wrong with them, when in fact, they’re just trapped in the walls of loneliness.

What you need to do is to understand that loneliness is just a set of feelings and worries. Don’t take it seriously.

Most importantly, you need to start to socialize even if it has been a long time. You’re going to be surprised how it’s much safer than you thought.

#2 Learn To Keep A Conversation Going

If you can keep a conversation going with a new person that you meet, chances are, you’re going to connect with that person. The more you know how to do this, the more friends you’ll have, and the happier you’ll be.

One technique you can start using right now is to remember the stories you hear and use them in conversations with people when you’re talking about a related subject. You can use any story, EVEN IF IT’S NOT SOMETHING FROM YOUR LIFE.

Use stories from other people’s lives, stuff you see on TV, on YouTube, in movies, books, documentaries, even stuff that happens in the street.

This is NORMAL to do with your old friends, but we almost always forget to use it with people we meet for the first time. That can cause the almighty problem of “running out of things to say.”

I wrote an article to share another technique on How To Keep A Conversation Going.

#3 Meet Friends That Know Each Other – Build A Social Circle

There is a way to make friends and continue meeting them that prevents loneliness, if you happen to break up with your partner. You can do this while also attracting hotter members of the opposite sex to you.

It’s a habit of making friends, introducing them to each other, and going out with them as a group.

Most people don’t do this. And don’t know how. So they miss out on it – big time.

You need to make sure that you gather the friends you have, in order to form a group that meets regularly. And when you get into a relationship, you can keep meeting with your group of friends, WITH your partner.

That way, you get a life full of social and emotional support, no matter what happens in your relationship.

What tips do you have for building strong friendships that will outlast any romantic relationship?

 

Copyright 2012. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.