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The Next LOL

June 13, 2013

Ok let’s just put it out there: It’s been, um, eight months since I wrote a blog post. About seven months ago, I could have quietly sneaked my way back into blog world without anyone being the wiser. Five months ago, I could have told a funny story and all would have been forgiven. Three months ago, sharing a dramatic life event would have sufficed and you would have shown me some comment love. Now, it’s been eight months, and half of you think I’m hiding a bun in the oven.

Never mind that I’m very much out of practice. For example, I probably spent the last 15 minutes deciding if “sneaked” or “snuck” was the correct usage in the second sentence. This conundrum damn near made me wait another eight months to write again.

It seems I’ve got some explaining to do. Will you believe I’ve been busy?

1. I’ve been busy scaring my neighbors

You may remember, I put an offer in on a house. I was super excited. Couldn’t have been happier. But shortly after they accepted my offer, all the horrendous things that could go wrong started to race through my mind. What if there is an annoying dog next door that yaps all night? What if the hot water heater doesn’t get water hot at all and “taking a cold shower” no longer has a frisky meaning but is literally the only kind of shower I can take? What if the toilet seats aren’t comfortable? I checked everything, paid for an inspection, even had my parents come see the house, but I didn’t check out the toilet seats! I was foolish not to try the goods first, considering the average person spends three years of their life on the toilet. In reality, that’s probably the first thing I should have checked.

“I think you are really going to like the size of the master bedroom,” my realtor would say.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there. First things first: I’m going to have to pee in each bathroom. Got any TP on hand?”

The what ifs continued: What if there isn’t an adequate Mexican restaurant nearby? What if my house is actually right beside a bus stop for some private school that opens at the crack of dawn? What if the Baskin Robbins down the street (the nearest scoop ice cream) closes? What if my neighbors are weird or mean? What if there are bugs? Dear GOD, what if there are centipedes?

Chef was kind enough to add a what if to my list: What if it’s actually wonderful and a great decision? Damn him and his unbridled optimism.

Last October, I finally closed on the house and moved in. Things were going pretty well. I hired movers, because I firmly believe that after the age of 26, one should never ask their friends to help them move. I see some of you shaking your heads, protesting, “What if I make it fun and buy beer and pizza?” I’m here to tell you that no amount of beer or pizza (or even ice cream) justifies a moving party after 26. I don’t make the rules, I just report them.

Notice my cutoff is 26. Considering I had my last “moving party” at 25. Ahem.

Ok, so last October, I moved into the new house. You know the enormous amount of time you spend searching for boxes before a move? It becomes an obsession; an endless quest to get the perfect boxes to move all your crap. This Seinfeld stand-up routine explains it perfectly.

But then once you are all unpacked, you have to do something to get rid of all those boxes. Score! I forgot that now that I bought a house, I have my own trash can I can conveniently roll to the bottom of the driveway on trash day.

But wait. No one told me when trash day was in my new neighborhood. This posed a problem. The first night in the new house, Chef and I were outside, and noticed everyone had their trash cans at the bottom of their driveways.

“Sweet! Trash day is tomorrow,” Chef said.

“UNLESS trash day was today, and they just haven’t brought the trash cans back up yet,” I countered.

Champagne to celebrate the new house

Champagne to celebrate the new house

We were in a pickle. So I did what any normal, new homebuyer who had been celebrating with a few glasses of champagne and wanted to make her boyfriend laugh would do. I jokingly pulled my black hoodie over my head and sprinted toward my next door neighbor’s trash can. To check if it was full, of course.

Like clockwork, my neighbors walked out of their house. I couldn’t quite tell if they saw me mid-sprint or if they just caught a hooded figure lifting the lid of their trash can.

I had some explaining to do. “Um, sorry. I just moved in and I was trying to figure out when trash day was,” I stammered.

“It’s tomorrow,” they said coldly. Nothing like making a first impression. Now I’m the crazy neighbor.

In other news: I also have centipedes. That’s all I want to say about that.

 2. I live with a boy.

In a world of high stakes dating, I upped the ante. Chef and I moved in together. Yes, I’m proud to announce that I am officially living in sin. The last time I moved in with a boy, there was this whole pretense that we must be engaged first (so much so that he proposed the day I moved in). No need for that here.

I was really nervous about moving in with Chef. I maybe had one or two Monica moments where she laments, “I have to live with a boy!!”

 

I worried we wouldn’t like living together. We’ve both been living on our own for years, so we really like our space. And, because of his work schedule, we’ve never spent a ton of extended time with each other. Cue the questions. What if we move in together and fight all the time? What if he’s messy? What if he deletes my shows off of the DVR? What if he finishes the ice cream without replacing it? What if HE brought the centipedes? I digress.

ice cream

The wide selection of ice cream I bought on a recent shopping trip

Well here’s what happened: He makes the bed; I constantly move his shoes out of the thoroughfares and pick up his socks. He cooks me delicious dinners and I … well … I take pictures of the food and post them on Facebook. He tells me I’m pretty every day (even when I’m not looking so pretty) and I keep the freezer well stocked with ice cream to avoid World War III.

He makes me happy almost every single day. It’s not so bad living with a boy.

3. Creating the next LOL takes time.

Ever wonder where LOL, SMH, TTYL and JK started? Yeah, me too. Sorry, I don’t have any answers for you. But you are witnessing the creation of the next LOL. And I need your help spreading the word.

TYS

What the heck is TYS, you ask? Well, don’t Google it too thoroughly, because a few wrong souls have identified it as Thank You Sir. That’s a fail if I’ve ever seen one.

TYS = Told You So

If you’ve ever needed a really easy way to tell someone, “I was right and you were wrong!” TYS is your answer.

If you simply don’t have enough time for the “told you so” song….

 

…TYS is your play. Text it. Call someone up on the phone, announce it and hang up. Consider writing it next to a smiley face on a small slip of paper, like when you ask your boyfriend to take out the trash because trash day is tomorrow, and he says he will do it later, and you say he’ll forget and should do it now, and then the following night the trash is stinking up the kitchen and he clearly forgot.

Stick a post it note to that trash, ladies: TYS.

Learn it. Love it. Spread it. And you can be part of a movement.

 

This picture makes me want to be on vacation again, ASAP

This picture makes me want to be on vacation again, ASAP

So those are my excuses. Besides all of this, I also started an awesome new job, went on a fun beach vacation, visited San Francisco, played with my sister’s baby (who is somehow already crawling), became obsessed with Princesses: Long Island, bought a floppy hat and listened to the Great Gatsby soundtrack at least 5 times through.

What’s new with you? Since I’ve introduced you to the next LOL, will you forgive my absence? Have a TYS you want to brag about?

 

 

Copyright 2013 Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.


39 Comments leave one →
  1. Mille permalink
    June 13, 2013 9:31 am

    Welcome back baby great post…
    Love you …

  2. June 13, 2013 10:04 am

    Welcome back! And OMG – I feel your pain with the centipedes, they appeared when I had about a month or so left living in my old apartment (ALONE, btw). That was the most horrific month of my life. Seriously, those bugs are huge and move FAST. I still get the heebie jeebies thinking about it. I even had a nightmare about them once. Be glad you live with a boy!!

    • June 18, 2013 11:16 pm

      YUCK!!! I don’t think I’d wish centipedes on my worst enemy. They are truly awful. They move SUPER fast so it’s like impossible to catch them and kill them! I just went out to the garage to get something from the car and one scurried across the floor. I literally jumped in the car and shut the door until the coast was clear. No good.
      But don’t put too much value on living with a boy in these situations…. maybe a post coming later about this, but Chef isn’t as much of a help as you might expect! He can’t be trusted with killing bugs. Too nice to them – always wants to put them back outside. Why would you put it back outside for it to only come back inside? CRAZY!

  3. June 13, 2013 10:26 am

    Lord! Have i missed you and ur oh-so-funny posts… So will this be ur last for another 8months or…? Just being silly. Good to have you back Catherine! And I love TYS…

    • June 18, 2013 11:12 pm

      Uyai,
      Aww, thank you! I missed you guys too! I think it’s funny how everyone is all “welcome back” and I’m all like “I didn’t say I was back back, just back for one post…” and now there’s all this responsibility…. ahh #firstworldproblems. :)
      No really, I’m hoping to be able to write a bit more. Thanks for the encouragement and good luck spreading TYS to all your friends, acquaintances, family and enemies :)

      • June 22, 2013 5:21 pm

        Hahahahaha! But why aren’t you back? You probably know or don’t know what a huge inspiration you have been to loads of us. Pleaseeeeeeee be back…even if it’s just for a bit before you run off again… :)

  4. June 13, 2013 10:48 am

    Welcome back! I’m glad you and Chef are doing well!

    • June 18, 2013 11:11 pm

      Thanks so much! Can’t wait to catch up with you – all good?

  5. June 13, 2013 10:53 am

    It’s good to see you back! I actually checked my subs a few times to see if some bug had unsubscribed me to your blog!

    • June 18, 2013 11:11 pm

      LOL, AWildDog, that’s like the nicest thing I’ve ever heard! Thanks for thinking of me. Nope, WordPress isn’t broken, just me :)

  6. Natasha permalink
    June 13, 2013 11:26 am

    Glad you are back! :)

  7. June 13, 2013 11:42 am

    And here, I’d thought you’d suffered some horrible skydiving accident or went ballistic when your favorite flavor of ice cream was yanked off the shelf. Glad to hear you were just busy.

    A few years ago, I invented OLFR (Out Loud For Real), a more accurate representative of LOL, reserved for when you really, truly, were Laughing Out Loud. It’s right there: Out Loud FOR REAL.

    Glad to see you back, and I hope TYS catches on. I, for one, dig it.

    • June 18, 2013 11:10 pm

      Hahaha I love OLFR! I usually just say “LOL – literally” to make that point but yours is easier!
      Will you put TYS in your next book? That should help it catch fire! :)
      PS: Thanks for wishing terrible atrocities to happen to me. I mean, my favorite ice cream getting yanked off the shelf?!! How could you ever wish that on a friend? (oh, and um, the skydiving thing too.)

  8. June 13, 2013 3:36 pm

    Glad to see another post from you and glad that things sound like they’re going great! I’m doing fine too – it’s been even longer since my last blog post but I haven’t summoned up the will to change that so far.

    • June 18, 2013 11:08 pm

      Hi Matt! I just love when you check in because I know you are still kicking :). How are things going? Feel free to email me sometime! I’d love to hear what’s new with you. Of course, I would welcome a blog post, but trust me, I know how hard it is to force yourself to come back. Hope all is well!

  9. June 13, 2013 10:09 pm

    Welcome back! Sounds like you’ve been living a joyous life and not sitting in front of a boring computer, which it seems that I am doing all the time. Jealous? TYS

    • June 18, 2013 11:07 pm

      Thanks so much Lisa! Thanks have been fun these days. But do note, that I spend plenty of time laying on the couch watching bad TV. But I find that pretty joyous as well :)

  10. June 13, 2013 10:11 pm

    Welcome back! The Jimmy Fallon ice cream is one of my favorites, so I fully support that choice in your ice cream stock pile. That was actually my TYS moment recently, trying to get my family to try said ice cream despite their protest. They loved it, even my super picky grandmother. TYS at it’s finest.

    • June 18, 2013 11:05 pm

      Great TYS! I had a moment like that with Silver Linings Playbook. My parents were convinced that because I liked it, they wouldn’t. How can you NOT like that movie? Of course, they finally agreed but I had to force them to watch it first! :)
      PS, if you can believe it, I just tried Phish Food Ben & Jerry’s for the first time. Stole my favorite B&J slot :)

  11. Just Sayin permalink
    June 13, 2013 11:02 pm

    I”ve missed this blog!
    I’m coming back baby!

    • June 18, 2013 11:03 pm

      Thank you!! Miss you too and I’m heading your way soon to catch up on your fabulous funny life :)

  12. June 14, 2013 6:48 am

    You are right to be weary of centipedes, they do bite and have poison glands. Are you sure they are centipedes though? Because if they happen to actually be millipedes, they don’t bite and are not poisonous. Have a closer look, if there are two legs coming out of each side of the body segments, it’s a millipede, if there is only one leg coming out of each, it’s a centipede. #myuniversityclasswasactuallyhelpful

    • June 18, 2013 11:02 pm

      Mommy Adventures,
      EEK! I just spent five minutes looking at pictures of millipedes and centipedes to figure out what I have and now I’m incredibly grossed out. My diagnosis: still think I have centipedes. If they didn’t move so god forsaking fast I’d send you a picture, lol. I’m going to pretend I didn’t read your comment about them biting and such… I’ll never sleep again if I pay too much attention to that :)
      Thanks for being my insectopedia! :)

  13. Mysterious neighbor from the Corn, lol permalink
    June 14, 2013 7:57 am

    I am so happy you are writing again :) Very nice re-entry blog!

    • June 18, 2013 10:56 pm

      Thanks love! Miss you lots as my upstairs neighbor :) Can’t wait for sushi soon!

  14. June 14, 2013 9:37 am

    Welcome back! I hope now you can provide us brand new funny stories, such as that one about the airport – bathroom cupcakes… :-D Congrats!

    • June 18, 2013 10:55 pm

      Thanks so much Carol! Your comment just made me want to fly through Atlanta again to get one of those cupcakes.. hmm… :) I hope to have some funny stories too – geez, no pressure right? :)

  15. June 14, 2013 9:57 am

    I was JUST thinking about you these last couple of weeks, wondering to myself, “Catherine hasn’t written in a while. I should send her a text (or something) and see how things are going.”

    Glad to hear things are going well.

    I’m curious though. If i take 8 months off writing on my blog…will people think I’m pregnant?

    • June 18, 2013 10:54 pm

      Hi Matthew! Now that I finally wrote a blog post, I need to head over to everyone else’s blogs, including yours. Can’t wait to catch up! Luckily, I have you on Facebook and I can see things seem to be going great for you :)
      Now if you took off 8 months, your readers may think you A) got someone pregnant B) ran away with a girl never to write again. That’s what I’d suspect :)

  16. Maria permalink
    June 16, 2013 1:48 pm

    I just discovered your blog, and I can’t stop reading all of your past posts! I’ve been having a really tough time after my break up, land the emotional roller coaster part of it all is starting to wear on me. Reading about your whole journey is giving me hope about the future, so thanks =)

    • June 18, 2013 10:49 pm

      Maria,
      Ugh, I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through! It’s really tough, especially in the beginning, but I promise you’ll be OK and it WILL get better with time. Thank you so much for the kind words about my blog. Your comment is exactly why I started this blog in the first place and I really appreciate your reading through the old posts. I’m sending positive thoughts your way!

  17. June 19, 2013 12:21 pm

    Really funny post. I don’t know when we started with the TYS, but it’s always nice to be able to point out you were right and someone else was wrong in an anagram. I feel like we should anagram our speech entirely….for instance…YF! =you’re fired. Much less painful. LY=love you. Simple, sweet, not at all awkward. TPAMMT=these pretzels are making me thirsty….

    Glad you are writing again….so I can watch sports without feeling bad

  18. June 20, 2013 5:03 pm

    Great post. You made me laugh. I agree centipedes are gross. Glad to hear about you and Chef. Congratulations. Hope to read another post soon. Thanks for writing. :)

  19. July 21, 2013 11:37 pm

    Loving the story of the black hoodie and the neighbour catching you. I’m afraid I might think bad things if I saw my new neighbour spying inside my trash can. Now I’ll have to rethink it if it actually occurs. Enjoy the day!

  20. December 4, 2013 9:37 am

    Congrats on “living with a boy”, hope it is still quite happy. I can certainly relate to all of your heartbreak, fears and hurts. I started a new blog in an effort to create something positive out of my divorce. http://www.mealsalone.com
    I am considerably older than you, just had a brain tumor removed and I am still filled with great hope for the future! :)

  21. Amber Rae permalink
    February 8, 2014 10:00 pm

    I know it’s late to comment but I just ran across your blog. I do have to admit though I haven’t gotten halfway throught number 1 and I’m laughing and nodding my head so much I’m considering counting it as a light workout! Your “what ifs”.. oh my. Luckily I have an amazing Mexican restaurant nearby that I go to almost too frequently. And I made the mistake of asking friends to help and when they all backed out and a huge screw up with the truck rental company (twice screw up by them, actually), I had to scramble and BEG family members to help… to get the truck back that same evening! Can’t wait to see your next post when you are able to carve out some time!

  22. April 10, 2014 8:52 pm

    For someone who hasn’t written a post in a while this was an awesome update!

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