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Starting fresh

June 15, 2010

Hello, and welcome. Glad to have you here (all three of you and Mom).

What the heck am I thinking starting a blog? Well, I’ve had some pretty big changes in my life. So let’s start with the nitty gritty – the TMI that you will learn to expect from this blog. I just got out of a seven year relationship, after being with the same guy since I was 18. We were to be married this July 10. Needless to say, we’re not getting married. Some pretty serious heartbreak, but that’s not what this blog is about. This blog is about moving forward. Discovering yourself after defining yourself by being with someone else for many years. Learning how to date (again). And loving the life you have, because you really only get one.

I’m starting this blog because I desperately wanted to read a blog about a single girl, a single girl like me. I Googled it every which way, and over and over the single girl blogs I found included girls who really were no longer single (umm, not much help there). Or, they lived somewhere fabulous like Miami or New York City, and I felt like I could never keep up with what seemed to be extraordinary lives. But, there are some good ones out there, which I will link to so you can read them too.

So, I’m Catherine. Great to meet you. I’m a public relations professional working in Richmond and living in the suburbs because I can’t parallel park (among other reasons, but that’s probably the biggest). I’m addicted to reality TV, chick flicks, the news and wine (whoops, maybe I shouldn’t start off calling it an addiction – it’s a hobby. Wine and breakups go hand in hand). I’m a hopeless romantic and I sometimes feel like a failure of a feminist because I can’t get enough of the Bachelor and I expect a good man to hold the door for me. But most of all, I’m still writing the story of who I am, and I feel almost lucky to have the chance to start over.

I hope you’ll join me for the journey into singledom. Any tips you have, please (for the love God), share them with me. And, if you are newly single too, hopefully I can provide some fun stories that will make you never want to date again. Just kidding, make you want to find love. Oh, and this isn’t just about dating. Because what I’ve learned is that life is not about who you are with, it’s about who you are.

Cheers. Catherine


25 Comments leave one →
  1. jc_zoracel permalink
    June 15, 2010 2:09 am

    Great start! I like it. Make sure you put more updates on Twitter so we know to check back.

  2. natasha permalink
    June 15, 2010 12:57 pm

    Loved it! 🙂

  3. June 15, 2010 1:15 pm

    Two quotes come to mind: 1. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. by Confucius, and 2. “Small Steps.” from the movie Contact. You’re movin on girl!

  4. June 15, 2010 2:21 pm

    Very nice Catherine… Takes some guts to start one, looking forward to reading more.

  5. June 15, 2010 6:43 pm

    Oh, the last sentence gave my the tingles! Love it – thanks for giving us a peek into your life. Can’t wait to read more.

  6. Millie Turner (Mom) permalink
    June 15, 2010 11:02 pm

    I’m very proud of you! It’s a gift to be able to put your thoughts into words. You should write a book! My signed copy should be in hardcover. 🙂

  7. amanda permalink
    June 16, 2010 3:36 am

    I really enjoyed reading it and hope to see more!

  8. June 17, 2010 2:57 am

    I read every single word, and as much as i wish I could say something to help you. Saying nothing might help even more. Moving on will make you a better person and I for sure WISH you the best. Thanks for sharing your little space on the Blog O Sphere with me.

  9. pam permalink
    July 2, 2010 1:50 pm

    i found this on the weddingbee and you are WONDERFUL! i just read all of them in reverse, sorry. three readers, mom, and THEN MORE READERS!!! we are all rooting for you 😀

  10. Tom permalink
    July 8, 2010 2:15 am

    Ilove your blog and hope u find that one guy that will fill all the holes this guy left u

  11. September 7, 2010 1:57 pm

    My co-blogger Lucky and I are so excited to read through your archives and keep up with your new posts, its so inspiring to see a young girl like us venture back out into the dating world to reconnect with herself. That’s what we are trying to accomplish as well. Best of luck to you and your adventures =)

    xo – Gizzy

    • September 8, 2010 12:12 am

      Thank you! I just added your blog to my Google Reader so I’m excited to follow you both as well! Take care!

  12. Jes permalink
    September 2, 2011 4:23 pm

    So.. I’ve been through A LOT this past year… I got out of my relationship of 6.5 years after we realized we weren’t right for each other, he was an amazing person, we were always just better freinds than lovers..Directly after, i fell in “love” right away, to a man that was very much in love with me too, but he had to move away, and distance just doesnt work = break up 2 for the year .. Plus that whole thing was probably too much too soon in hindsite. .. Then i found the asshole rebound guy.. i think i was so desperate to make SOMETHIng (read: AnYthinG) work… I let him treat me like shit.. I let him walk all over me. Lie to me, Stand me up, Most likely cheat on me…. And eventually dump ME!? = Break up #3 for the year….
    I’m a “googler” i google everything and anything, especially things going on in my life.. Just to know that someone out there is experiencing the same things.. I cant tell you how many times i’ve googled something, and your blog has come up. And it always helped!
    This week i officially subscribed to you blog.. And i really look forward to hearing more about you and your single life..
    I think your honesty and self awareness is amazing. And i just wanted to say thank you for writing this.

    • September 10, 2011 1:58 pm

      Jes,
      Wow, you certainly have been through a lot. I can’t imagine going through that much heartbreak in one year. Maybe a break from dating is in order? Give your heart some time to heal before you move on with someone else? I’m afraid I didn’t take the time to do that after my breakup, and I wish that I had. I’m so glad you like the blog, and thanks for subscribing! Keep me updating on how you are doing 🙂

  13. Caroline Parker permalink
    September 25, 2011 12:23 am

    I’ve already read many of your entries and I LOVE them all! My boyfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me today, after stating he didn’t know if he loved me anymore. It hurts. A LOT. But this blog is truly making things a little more tolerable! Thanks for the inspiring words of wisdom!

    • October 4, 2011 8:41 pm

      Caroline,
      I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. I hope you are feeling okay – I know how tough it is. I’m really glad that my blog has helped even in the tiniest way. Take care of yourself, lean on your friends/family, distract yourself, and give yourself the time to heal… you’ll be okay 🙂

  14. Angelia permalink
    January 29, 2012 3:51 am

    My boyfriend and I of over three years broke up recently and I’m glad I found this blog when I did. I’m starting over in a new city with what my friend is referring to as Life 2.0. I can’t wait to continue reading more entries.

  15. Julia permalink
    May 28, 2012 8:01 am

    Hey, I have just come across this blog and I really hope that it will help me through the healing process after having been dumped last month by my boyfriend of nine months . I know it was only nine months however we had lived together in his house for six of those months and I really thought we were forever. He declared his undying love for me everyday.. and I felt the same. Unfortunately he wasn’t very mentally stable and whenever anything got too much for him he would destroy our home and he broke a lot of stuff, there were a few near misses when I was in the firing line but he became completely out of control. He had self esteem issues and took it out on me verbally and by smashing all the stuff. He ended the relationship because he said he realised he needs help and couldn’t carry on putting me through it anymore.

    The breakup has had a huge impact on my whole life though, as I had moved miles away from hometown to live with him, and I’d got a job in his town, so I had to resign from my job and come back to live with my parents as it would have been way too far to travel to my job. The day he threw me out, he didn’t give me any chance to find an alternative place to live so I had no choice but to return to my home town. I’m 30 years old and this was certainly not how I expected my life to turn out. So I’ve lost the man I loved, home, job everything and I’m having to start again 😦 I have a long road of healing ahead of me butI am going to use this site for inspiration.

    I have since found out from a number of mutual friends that my ex had these anxiety/lack of control problems WAY before I came into his life, and had “lost it” with various people many times over the years.. so I know it is not my fault.. even so I do not know how I can trust another man.. but I so want to be settled with someone nice .. I just thought it was going to be him! 😦

  16. February 3, 2013 11:22 pm

    I love your blog! And I can relate because I am a hopeless romantic and I have started this promise to not date for a year, it has been four months now and really hard but really rewarding. I love that there’s someone I can relate to on here! p.s. I love the bachelor too…even though it doesn’t help me with my no dating state of mind lol

  17. ale permalink
    July 28, 2013 8:10 am

    I am sorry if this topic has been discussed somewhere else in your blog but I have a maybe stupid question. Why you cannot parallel park? I am asking because I am not good at driving and parallel parking is a nightmare (some weeks ago I went to the sea with a friend and I had to ask him to park my car because I had been struggling without success for minutes…what a humiliation!). But I am trying to get over this difficulty and I don’t want this to limit my life anymore.

    • July 28, 2013 10:59 am

      Ale,
      I just never really learned. No one took the time to teach me until late in my life.
      However, a colleague of mine did teach me recently and my life has changed for the better! Do see if you can find someone to help you learn. It is not as hard as it seems and it can be taught. It makes driving less stressful when you know how! https://simplysolo.wordpress.com/2011/04/21/rules-of-the-road/

  18. Amy permalink
    November 26, 2013 2:15 pm

    About a month ago I ended a four year relationship with the man I thought I’d be with forever and I’m still in the thick of it – the breakup that is. I’m really looking forward to reading your blog (I’m starting from the beginning)…I feel like the few entries I’ve read have hit the nail on the head with where I’m at emotionally. Thanks for sharing your story.

  19. Veronica permalink
    December 14, 2013 11:01 am

    I just recently got my heart broken by the love of my life 😦 I thought we’d be together forever, I’m completely destroyed and I can’t stop crying. It’s been a month already and I still feel the same as the first day he left… “I love you but I’m not IN love with you” those words haunt me everyday 😦 I’m following your blog, hopefully you still write on it…

Trackbacks

  1. Rules of the Road « Simply Solo: Single girl starting over – follow the journey
  2. Love Your Life « Simply Solo: Single girl starting over – follow the journey

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