Breakup Clichés and Words of Wisdom
We’ve all gone through a breakup and heard the endless litany of clichés and random words of wisdom from well-meaning friends, family and acquaintances. I’m here to break down what people say … and what the person going through the heartbreak thinks.
- There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Um, thanks for these sage words of wisdom. However, I was done fishing. I liked the fish I had fine, thank you. He smelled a little sometimes, but he wasn’t so bad. And, I have no interest in fishing, and frankly do not have the energy to shop for a fishing pole.
- I never liked him/her anyway. Oh really? So you were just pretending to like them all the times we hung out together? Nice to know, thanks for that little nugget of honesty (a little late).
- You were too good for him/her anyway. Variation on the above. Come on people. Not helpful.
- It is what it is. Wow, you’re deep. Got anything else for me? Wait, please hold, let me grab my notebook first.
- If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. We broke up, so clearly it wasn’t meant to be. And, I’m sorry, but I’ll pass on throwing my life to the whims of destiny.
- Love conquers all. Ohhhhh, my goodness, did I miss the memo? Was this on Anderson Cooper 360 that night I fell asleep on the couch? I wasn’t aware that love now conquered all. Phew, that’s a relief. Guess we’ll get those Middle East problems all worked out, and thank goodness we don’t have to worry about murder or anything anymore.
- Take it one day at a time. This one isn’t so bad, but at first, when every single day feels like an eternity, it isn’t so reassuring. Now I get it a bit more. Like, it makes zero sense to agonize about what Christmas will be like alone, or what in the world you are going to do when you need a date to a random work function (that, let’s be honest, your significant other was going to complain about going to anyway; you were going to get in a big fight just before the party, pretend like everything was fine, and fight some more after. Just me?). Taking it one day at a time is certainly more achievable than panicking about the future.
- How’s the wedding planning going? Whoops. Maybe this one is a little specific to me. But I swear if one more person asks me about the wedding (that clearly isn’t happening), I may have to move to Canada. Why Canada? The healthcare, of course. Oh and because I so much want to fit “aye” into my regular vocabulary.
- Better to have love and lost, than to have never loved at all. Okay, so I never heard this one. I’m pretty sure most people knew if they said this one to me, their life may be in danger. Not kidding.
Do you have any to add to the list? And yes, I’m fully aware that when “time heals all my wounds” I’ll probably look at this list and be like, hey that was pretty damn good advice.