At T.G.I. Friday’s a few weekends ago, there was a sorta cute, funny bartender. The kind of guy that seemed worth flirting with just a bit to get a free drink or two and engage in some fun chatting. When he made a somewhat flirtatious comment toward me, my friend Alexis told me I should go for it. To which, I showed her exactly how superficial I am (in case she ever wondered!), and explained the 401(k) prerequisite.
What’s the 401(k) prerequisite, you ask? I will not seriously consider talking with a guy unless they A: have a 401(k), or B: are in a profession in which eventually they will have a 401(k) (or IRA equivalent). I know, judge me, but hey, a girl’s gotta have some standards. Guy with male pattern baldness? A-OK. Criminal record (as long as it’s nonviolent)? No probs, Bob! No 401(k)? Forgetaboutit! So this bartender, while somewhat cute, kinda funny and slightly mysterious (and getting even better after every drink I have), at the end of the day, he’s still a bartender. No 401(k) = no Catherine lovin’.
As we were leaving that night, said bartender tells us we should come back sometime. Alexis asks him when he usually works. Fridays, he answers. Why just Fridays, we wonder? Oh yeah, he’s finishing up law school this year.
And, I’m officially an asshole.
Before you get all excited thinking, Pounce, girl! He’s gonna have a 401(k) someday! Sadly, I know I just don’t deserve him. Maybe next time I won’t be such a bitch.