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Good Guy Theory

June 25, 2010

So, here’s what I’m thinking. All of us girls want a “good guy.” But, by my experience, the guys that claim to be the good guys are actually nothing of the sort. They seem to be good guys at first, but they eventually reveal their true colors. And then you feel disappointed and fooled because you thought you had a good guy on your hands, and how could you have been so wrong? (Because, we all know that it’s totally your fault for not knowing better. Not his fault for being a jerk.)

So here’s what I’m thinking: I no longer want a good guy. I want a bad guy. Someone who is definitely going to break my heart, treat me badly, probably tell a lie or two and be completely unreliable and inconsiderate. But, they will do it in an honest and upfront way – with no claims to do otherwise. At least then I’ll know what I’m gonna get. No false advertising. Like, when I buy Food Lion-brand macaroni and cheese, I know it’s completely possible that it’s going to be gross and I might find a foreign object or two in the noodles. And, every once in awhile, the cheese mix will be missing from the box all together. Because that just happens sometimes. But, it didn’t claim to be The Cheesiest or best macaroni and cheese. It just is what it is, cheap macaroni and cheese that is satisfying enough and will save me 20 cents.

So, if you know any bad guys, be sure to send them my way. And if you are a guy out there that claims to be a good guy? Time to change your marketing strategy, cause I’m on to you.

PS: Am I the only one who thinks we need an Angie’s List or Better Business Bureau for men? A place where you can type in your potential suitor’s name, and get real-time reviews of the experiences other women had with them, including how many stars out of five they are? Perhaps we could have different categories, including Personality, Looks, Trustworthiness, Sexual Abilities…. How awesome would that be?!

26 Comments leave one →
  1. dawn permalink
    June 25, 2010 5:26 pm

    So what is angie’s list and if we had one for guys you know they would have one for us!

  2. natasha permalink
    June 25, 2010 5:29 pm

    Just let me know where to submit my list of ‘good guy’ names too…

    • June 25, 2010 5:34 pm

      Haha. I’m sure our list would be interesting – to say the least.

  3. June 25, 2010 5:34 pm

    Dawn: Angie’s List is a review site where you can review businesses for how well they did a service for you … like if a painter comes out, how well you think they did. It’s all good if there was a similar list for females – I think there are FAR more “good girls” than “good guys” out there!! Women are far less shady than men.

  4. June 25, 2010 5:51 pm

    Equal opportunity. Do the men get a list for women

  5. June 25, 2010 6:00 pm

    I don’t buy it! When people date bad boys, they go out with them because they like certain aspects of their personalities (let’s face it, leather jackets are cool) and just think that they’ll be able to “change” them or, they’ll settle down. They don’t.

    Haven’t you seen 90210!? Dylan put Kelly through 10 seasons of turmoil! Along the way, she got 3rd degree burns, a substance abuse problem, the list goes on. Then we find out in 2009, that Dylan knocked her up, she had a baby and now Dylan’s living somewhere in Europe and Kelly’s going after boring English teachers as a rebound.

    Stay away from bad boys!

    • June 25, 2010 7:20 pm

      LOL, Cam! I agree that most women think they can change bad guys. But what if you just accept them for what they are?

      And Kelly – she was just cursed in general. I think the writers really made an effort to make everything bad that can possibly happen to a person happen to her! Not sure we can blame all of that on Dylan, but lots of it we can! Thing is, she also dated Brandon, the “good guy,” who proceeded to cheat on her. You can’t win!!

  6. Anon permalink
    July 1, 2010 8:33 pm

    um THEY HAVE THAT. It’s called and you go on and search for a guy’s online profile name. You don’t get to bash your ex; it’s more a way to say whether or not someone’s profile is legit (they are 10 years older/100 lbs fatter than their profile pic; they are actually married, etc). GO. NOW.

    Can we be friends?

    • July 1, 2010 9:23 pm

      Who knew?? Will totally be checking it out! BUT, what we totally need is a site where we can actually bash our exes :). Fairly, though!

  7. Dana permalink
    July 9, 2010 1:34 am

    Oh man I totally agree. The good guys are only considered “good” because they’re too effing wussy to take charge, OR because they’re good at hiding their bad side.

  8. Ramon permalink
    August 16, 2010 11:53 pm

    Wow if there ever was a better BBB for men i guess i would be in deep S&%T!! Yeah i hate it when they forget the chesse in my cheap macaroni!!

    • August 17, 2010 9:59 am

      Ramon, you are cracking me up with your comments. I think that if there were a BBB for men and for women, we’d all be in a world of trouble! Would keep us honest at least…

  9. September 2, 2010 1:49 pm

    Love it — you gotta respect a person who will stab you in the front. You don’t have to like them — and you don’t have to let them stab you, but you have to respect them.


  10. October 2, 2010 7:03 pm

    You are hilarious. I’ve always considered myself a “good guy,” and yet, my history with women is less than spectacular. I guess now I know why! Should I just give in and buy the Harley already?

    • October 2, 2010 7:35 pm

      Haha, thank you! I’m sure you are a good guy. I hope. LOL. But in my experience, the self proclaimed “good guys” are the ones to watch out for. In reality, I’d rather a guy make no statement as to what kind of guy he is – show me with your actions, let me find out for myself.
      Yes on the Harley. You can also develop some sort of drug habit and cheat on your significant other. Then you can run around telling everyone you are a “good guy” and my post will be right on. 🙂

  11. eagle permalink
    October 5, 2010 7:38 pm

    i dont think u could handle a bad guy even if you wanted. You need to work on your boundaries and defences. Good defences are healthy !!!

    Some bad guys will walk all over you, others may take you for a dance.

    Depends what you want

    • October 5, 2010 9:38 pm

      Seriously, you are probably right. I can’t handle a bad guy. But I definitely can’t handle a bad guy acting like a good guy. It sucks. I just need a plain old good guy. 🙂

  12. John Doe permalink
    February 6, 2011 11:05 pm

    Nice read. Makes sense at a level, but unfortunately another theory springs!

    Most men know girls want a “good guy” (as you said) , so how would a “bad guy” get one of those girls? That’s right! By pretending to be a “good guy”! Everything’s going smooth, but then, voila, the bad guy comes out of nowhere! (not really out of nowhere but…I’ll save this for later)

    Most good guys find it difficult to pretend being a bad guy, but not vice versa!

    My 2 cents! And yes, I’m a guy!

    • February 8, 2011 10:59 am

      Ugh, that’s the worst part. I don’t want a bad guy pretending to be a good guy. I want a good guy. If I wanted a bad guy (and some girls do), I would go out and find one. Frankly, I just wish people would be who they are. Be up front and honest. There is a match for everyone… but only if you are honest.

  13. Jason permalink
    February 20, 2012 11:07 am

    When it come’s down to it I have been on both sides of this thoery. For one the difference between a good guy and a bad guy is only one’s perspective. Depending on life issues as well as periods in which we all go through changes are made on our persona. So in essence we are all good or bad from time to time depending on who the judge is. So ladies if you want a relationship understand something. Your going to have to take the good with the bad and vise versa. We all want some sort of companionship when it comes down to it. The only problem is whether or not we find it where were looking. I say dont look and it will find you. Thats kind of how its worked in the past if im not mistaken. I dont know of anyone who has found a love through looking. It just happens. So dont look to hard. Take interest in every prospect. When it comes down to it trial and error is the only way to find what were truly searching for.

  14. But First, Live! permalink
    February 4, 2014 1:18 pm

    sorry, old post I know, but was just browsing through your blog and must say 100% agree!

    …”the guys that claim to be the good guys are actually nothing of the sort”

    Those self-proclaimed GOOD GUYS are indeed nothing of that sort. Far from it. And happy to know that someone other than myself has that same thought!


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