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Not So Hot Professions

June 29, 2010

I know it’s totally superficial, but let’s just be honest with ourselves here: there are some hot professions and some not so hot professions. Let’s explore.

Cable guy – Never once have I met a hot cable guy. But, on second thought, it might be worth the free HBO (I’ve been missing me some Big Love). Perhaps I should move this to the hot profession list?

Garbage collector – The smell. Need I say more?

Accountant – I can’t help but picture a pocket protector wearing, penny pinching, boring as hell man with small hands. If you know what I mean.  

Exterminator – Every time he’d touch me, I’d think about the cockroaches and ants and rats (oh my!) he’s been dealing with all day. Gross.

Plumber – There’s a reason they are known for the plumber butt. And, similar to exterminators, they are dealing with sh*t all day. Literally.

Professional student – Time to grow up and get a job. And stop smoking pot all day. Just sayin’.

Waiter – Outward appearances, they seem sorta hot. If you like cokeheads, that is. But, depending on the restaurant they work for, the free food might sway me. I can’t cook and I’m cheap, what can I say?

Mailman – I don’t know why really, but they just don’t do it for me. Maybe it’s because they always get an attitude when I park in front of the mailbox at my Mom’s house. UPS/Fedex guys, on the other hand …

Social media guy – This one is a little specific to my line of work, but if you make your living talking about Facebook, Twitter and for the love of God, “joining the conversation,” I would rather stay home alone flossing and watching Fox News than go on a date with you. And that says a lot (ask my dentist who is consistently disappointed in my flossing habits or anyone who knows just how much I hate Fox News).

Car salesman – Slimey. We all know it. And to overgeneralize a bit more, I don’t feel like the average car salesman has much respect for a woman’s intelligence and ability to purchase a car. Not so hot to this feminist.  

Bus driver – I just imagine a fat guy missing one tooth too many for my tastes. And seriously, while we are on the topic, let’s just add anyone who rides the bus (and does not live in a major metropolitan area) to this list.

Drug dealer – I don’t think I need to explain this one, but a life of crime and sneaking drugs from Mexico does not sound appealing to me. Oh, but we can stop at the beach on the way back from picking up the supply? And we’re only selling marijuana to those who really need it for medical reasons? Maybe … no, still not hot. Almost had me there, though. (Clearly kidding.)

What am I missing? Do you know of a really hot bus driver that I just can’t pass up? Do tell!

Up next time … hot professions. And before you even ask, yes, firefighter is on that list.

15 Comments leave one →
  1. June 29, 2010 2:51 am

    Wooowww…. Your hilarious

  2. Mike permalink
    June 29, 2010 4:00 am

    Those statements are stereotypes. I’m a plumber and do not have plumbers butt. Also I don’t smell like sh!t. I wear a belt and do new house plumbing. 

    • June 29, 2010 5:02 am

      I wondered who I would piss off first with this blog post and it looks like Mike won :). LOL, sorry! You know I’m totally kidding. I know these are REALLY superficial!

  3. amanda permalink
    June 29, 2010 4:02 am

    Hahaha I must say I do have to agree

  4. Mike permalink
    June 29, 2010 4:03 am

    But I must add i did get a kick out of it 🙂

  5. dawn permalink
    June 29, 2010 7:35 am

    And UPS guys have a 401K…lol

  6. internetdrama permalink
    July 22, 2010 5:03 am

    I dated a car salesman and he turned out to be a slimebucket and his friends are just a hot stinky mess, so you’re right about that one and on top of it all he was a USED cas salesman, what was i thinking?

    • July 22, 2010 8:06 pm

      LOL, it happens to us all. Guess you have to live in learn, huh?!

      • John Doe permalink
        February 8, 2011 12:46 am

        live “and” learn! Grammar nazi was here!

        • February 8, 2011 10:52 am

          LOL…. good catch. I need a spelling/grammar check on the comments!

  7. Ghetto_Philosopher permalink
    August 31, 2010 1:20 am

    Thank you for finally admitting that women are as superficial or even more superficial than guys are. We get a rap for superficiality but to quote a famous Jay-Z song; “women is pimps too…” Having said that, I enjoyed this post and the hot professions post immensely (mostly because I fall under the hot professions list). Yeah I’m vain. Sue me.

    • August 31, 2010 10:15 am

      Haha, no problem. I freely admit that women can be as superficial as men. I’m glad you are on the Hot Professions list. Wonder how annoyed you would be if you ended on on the Not So Hot Professions list? Thanks for your comments 🙂

  8. Ghetto_Philosopher permalink
    September 1, 2010 5:00 am

    I probably wouldn’t be that annoyed to be honest. I might even find it funnier if I were on the “Not so hot” list as I can laugh at myself. Besides, it’s your list. What’s the point of arguing with someone else’s list?

    • September 1, 2010 6:07 pm

      Good point, it is my list. I wonder if my profession would be on someone else’s hot or not so hot list? I’m probably on the blah list, neither hot or not hot!


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