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Open Letter to the Man in the Minivan

July 30, 2010

Photo courtsey of Steve and Sara

Dear Man in the Minivan,

Hi there. Remember me? You were driving next to me on Route 10 yesterday. We stopped at a light, and I considered texting quickly, but decided against it when I realized one can’t do such things when dating a police officer and driving in their county (oh and because Oprah’s No Phone Zone pledge sorta got to me. Just sorta).

When you first saw me, your left hand was hanging out of your driver’s side window, but after briefly checking me out, you put it inside the minivan. And I don’t know if you recall, but you then checked me out again, longer and definitely more intense. And to be honest, you weren’t so bad looking yourself, there sir. But, alas, you were driving a minivan. Which means you are A: married and B: have children.

You are probably a crazy helicopter parent that’s children are way too overscheduled, and you have PTA meetings, soccer practices, swim meets, middle school plays and family game nights to attend to. Definitely too busy for an affair, even if I were the homewrecker type (which I assure you, I am not). And good choice on tinting the back windows – I could just barely see the child’s car seat in the back. I do give you credit, though, it seemed you had no kids in tow as you were making eyes at women that are definitely not your wife.

So, Man in the Minivan, please move along your way. Go out and purchase some sort of Baby On Board sticker and go home to your wife. And stop hiding your wedding band. I’m pretty sure your choice in vehicle says enough.

Thanks and best always,  


10 Comments leave one →
  1. Dawn permalink
    July 30, 2010 12:43 pm

    I hope this isn’t the start of a craig’s list missed connection section, lol

  2. debra settles permalink
    July 30, 2010 1:34 pm

    You are so silly! :o)

  3. July 30, 2010 9:04 pm

    Ain’t nothing wrong with a Swagger Wagon!

    Where my kids at?:

  4. July 31, 2010 5:05 am

    Hi Catherine, I just read your comment on my 36×37 blog and had to swing by to say thanks. I could relate to your airport story in sort of an indirect way because it made me think of my newly divorced brother who discovered questionable things about his ex. That’s a hard thing to recover from, but judging by your awesome blog, you’re doing very well. Sometimes, fate really does do us big favors, doesn’t it. Keep writing–your blog is awesome.

    • July 31, 2010 6:09 pm

      Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! I really did enjoy your blog post. You are right about fate … I never was a big believer in fate until the past few months. Now, I do think that things happen for a reason and you just have to figure out what that reason is. Which can be maddening, but it’s somewhat reassuring to feel like there’s a bigger purpose or order to what happens in our lives!

  5. Daniel permalink
    July 31, 2010 2:02 pm

    Hi Catherine!

    I’m curious about the ‘ring’ situation. I always wore my wedding ring on my left hand of course, then I wore a silver ring on my right hand. I’m a widower now, and in honor of my late wife I wear my wedding ring on my right hand, and the silver ring is now on my left hand. Does a woman look at my hands and think that I’m married? I would hope that if she found me enticing, she would be inclined to ask me if I was married. Maybe I should just not wear the silver ring. Any thoughts?

    • July 31, 2010 5:52 pm

      Hi Daniel, thanks for reading and commenting. I think that most normal women will see you have a ring on your left hand, and assume you are married. To me, a ring is sign enough, I don’t even need to follow up and ask if you are married. Only women who are interested in married men would see a man with what looks like a wedding band on, and follow up with a question as to whether they are married (just as an excuse to strike up a conversation). I would suggest that you just not wear the silver ring at all. And, every once in awhile, you are going to get a woman who thinks you are married based off of the ring on your right hand as well – some cultures wear their wedding bands on their right hands, but it’s also possible the woman might not adequately know her right from left, so she may be confused. In which case, she’s probably too dumb to date anyway. Either way, I would stick to just the ring on the right hand to up your chances of a good woman approaching you. 🙂

  6. August 9, 2010 4:26 pm

    Love it! What a cute post! 🙂

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