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Dating Books

August 5, 2010

Photo courtesy of Grace Fell

Confession: I have a new obsession with dating books. I haven’t purchased any quite yet, but I find myself with a plethora of time for reading now that I’m single (alright, I’ll be honest: it probably has more to do with the fact that I’m too cheap to get DVR that I’m reading more, but whatever). 

I find myself heading to Barnes & Nobles regularly, with intentions of finding some amazing, life changing piece of literature that will inspire me beyond my wildest dreams. I imagine that once I read this perfect book,  suddenly I will get this genius idea for the first novel I want to write. Which will eventually end up on the New York Times bestseller list, and shortly after be turned into movie or at least a Lifetime series. And my life will never be the same. 

On my way to find that book, somehow I stumble into the self help section. The relationship self help section. I look carefully around, to make sure no cute guys are watching and that no one I know is in the store, and gently pick up the first book that appeals to me. The last time I did this, Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship called to me. I’d been being far too nice to one particular guy, and seeing nothing in return. I just finished reading this summary, and I gotta admit, I’m thinking about purchasing and reading it. After all, I recently read It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy on the suggestion of a close friend and it kinda changed my life. I’ll probably write a blog post about it later – but if there’s anyone out there going through a tough breakup, I would definitely recommend reading this book.

So I ask you, do you think it’s healthy to read these books? Or is it all crap that will eventually make me doubt myself even more, act like a crazy person and lead to endless game playing? And seriously, do men really love bitches? If so, I’ve got some work to do on that front, because I’ve always tried to treat others the way I want to be treated, but apparantly that’s just crap (according to the self help books anyway!).

Love this Target Women video on this very topic. She also gave me a great idea – I’m off to a strip club to meet a man. Wish me luck.


19 Comments leave one →
  1. Tom permalink
    August 5, 2010 1:25 pm

    Valium… that is all.

    • August 5, 2010 1:49 pm

      Wow. De ja vu. My psychiatrist said the same thing last week! (Clearly kidding). I greatly appreciate your ongoing support, Tom :).

  2. August 5, 2010 4:29 pm

    Hi Catherine!! I saw you over on Maura’s blog 36×37 🙂

    I think those books are wonderful. Not just because they possibly have great advice, but because they make you look at yourself more deeply. I’m not single… haven’t been for 6 years, but I’m a mom and just bought 4 books that is supposed to “help me get through the tween years” for guidance with my soon to be 10 year old daughter. It couldn’t hurt, right?

    I’ve gotta weigh in on the “guys like bitches” part too. I’ve never read the book, but…# 1. I think a guys definition of bitch and a girls definition is different. Us girls like to get catty and call girls out where guys wouldn’t necessarily have that same opinion. Which lead me to # 2. I don’t think they like bitches – I think they like strong, independent women who aren’t afraid to stand up for themselves. Women who don’t let men make all the decisions and walk all over them. I think that’s where the book might be going…

    That might be the longest comment I’ve EVER left on a post. You’ve got a new follower!!

    • August 5, 2010 9:32 pm

      Hi there,
      Thanks for visiting (and for your comment)! You make a really good point about the difference in the definition of bitch for men vs women. You are right, the book refers to women who are strong and independent, those that are not clingy or do not stress when a guy doesn’t call. A woman who does not make herself available 100% to a man. If a man blows her off, she equally blows him off right back – and doesn’t make excuses for her behavior. I’m definitely going to try and channel that advice from now on!

      Good luck with the tween years! Haha, you have so much fun ahead of you (said both sarcastically and seriously) :). I just added you to my Google Reader as well, so expect to hear from me in the future!

      Catherine

  3. August 5, 2010 7:49 pm

    I think that the magic with self-help books is that you can pick your way through it and only take away the information that resonates with you. Like everything, you have to take it with a grain of salt.

    • August 5, 2010 9:34 pm

      Good point. I mean, they can’t hurt (too much!), can they? At least they give you a bit more knowledge than you would have otherwise, which can’t be a bad thing. Thanks for your comment!

  4. natasha permalink
    August 5, 2010 8:49 pm

    I definitely want to read this book 🙂 Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship — bitches unite 🙂

    • August 5, 2010 9:34 pm

      Haha, we can be bitches together. And own it, cause a book told us too! Think I should do a review on Loose Girl? Haha 🙂

    • August 6, 2010 3:29 pm

      Will do! Thanks for sharing. Not sure if I’m quite ready for “the one” yet, so I may hold on this one. Ready for lots of dating maybe the wrong ones right now… LOL! Thanks for the suggestion, though, just added to my favorites for future reference!

  5. August 6, 2010 2:43 pm

    ahh…it’s true…in a way. do females like bad boys? sure, in some sense we do. but that doesn’t mean they’re right for us, and eventually we realize that just as males realize they’ve run out of reasons to keep a relationship going on based only on looks and a bad attitude.

    my advise is to skip out on the self-help books (unless you just read if for the laughs) and stick with what you’ve got. ive noticed i can answer most all my own questions if i ask myself. literally, ask yourself for your own advise…you’d be suprised how smart you are and how easily you can help yourself. which of course, lessens the time spent thinking on men and helps you focus on that NYTimes bestseller!

    • August 6, 2010 3:24 pm

      I think you are right on, often females do like bad boys. Did you get a chance to read my Raul recaps from earlier this week? Prime example. Can’t say I was 100% into him until he started treating me like crap! Then, wow I was really into him – but fact was, he wasn’t that into me! Lessons learned, I guess…

      I think you are right about asking yourself (honestly) for advice. As long as you don’t lie to yourself, I can see how this can be just as good as any dating book. I guess the dating books give you the tools to know what the right advice is, however. I don’t even know if that makes sense – but it makes sense in my head :).

      Off to work on the bestseller… haha. Thanks for commenting and stopping by!

  6. August 9, 2010 2:04 am

    “Why Men Love Bitches’ is a terrible title, but a fantastic book. “Finding Your Half-Orange” is another one I enjoy, largely because I think so many of the dating advice books come from a negative perspective. These two offer a different way of looking at things which I very much appreciate.

    But hurry up and finish ’em so you can write your best seller 🙂
    LG

    • August 9, 2010 2:21 am

      Thanks for the tips and for stopping by and commenting. Love your blog!

  7. August 13, 2010 12:16 pm

    Hi! Great blog! I wrote an entry about these books. Check it out. What I will say is the ones I like I am nice to, and they end up not liking me. The ones I don’t like, I am not interested in, and they stalk me. Go figure. Maybe there is some truth to it afterall!
    http://darcydates.com/2010/05/05/he-will-boil-your-bunny/

    • August 13, 2010 12:49 pm

      Thanks for commenting! I know, I’ve had the same experience with the guys I like and am nice to not liking me back … So while I joke about it a lot, I am thinking I need to be a little less nice!! I loved the blog post you shared – my favorite part was:

      “Then there are the aggressive books like “Why Men Love Bitches”. They will tell you not to call a man back, leave your laundry at his door with a mere note telling him to do it and then tell you to set his house on fire, kick him in the face, and when he is left bleeding on the floor with no house and a bloody face and as he is calling for help, lean in close and give him the finger. It is only then that he will love you, and maybe even put a ring on it.”

      Friggin’ HILARIOUS!!!! And, sounds just up my alley. 🙂

  8. August 18, 2010 5:26 pm

    “I look carefully around, to make sure no cute guys are watching and that no one I know is in the store, and gently pick up the first book that appeals to me.”

    So basically, relationship self-help books are to women what porno mags are to men….

    • August 18, 2010 11:18 pm

      LOL (literally)!! I never thought of it that way, but exactly! I bet there is the same level of shame associated with it. haha….

  9. Victoria permalink
    August 28, 2011 11:18 pm

    Why Men Marry Bitches. It will scare you to death because as a nice girl, you will know you have made every single mistake. But after reading it, you will feel completely armed to try dating like a man eater! Better to eat men than to be eaten…. sorta 😉

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