Walt Disney Guy
So, I’ve been giving Plenty of Fish another shot. Not sure why, I guess I got bored with my everyday life and figured why not. It’s not like my previous experiences with POF were great (see: Plenty of Fish Roundup and Raúl Parts 1 and 2). But I’m convinced there’s got to be a good guy on there – I mean, I’m on there, so shouldn’t there be someone of the opposite sex on there like me?
Well, Walt Disney Guy and I were emailing back and forth for a few weeks. He was smart, did not confuse “your” with “you’re,” was cute and tall (6’ 1”), so we were a match. My one main concern was that his profile indicated he loved Walt Disney World, so much so that he went there at least a couple of times a year. And all of this profile pictures were taken at Disney World. That seemed a little odd to me, a grown man so into Disney World. The red flag that went up in my head was that maybe I was signing up for a gay boyfriend (one that doesn’t know he’s gay or isn’t out yet) but then chastised myself for being so judgmental and decided maybe he just likes Disney World – no harm, no foul. I can get down with some Mickey Mouse. And funnel cake.
One night, I saw an instant message come through from Walt Disney Guy. We hadn’t pinned down yet exactly when we were going to meet, but we were considering sometime the next week. I figured he just wanted to work out the details. I accepted the IM.
We talked for a long time about movies (actually I’m not quite sure how I talked so long about movies, considering I know next to nothing about movies. Reality TV, I could talk for hours. Movies? Not so much). His favorites were science fiction/fantasy movies. Hmm, interesting.
When I asked Walt Disney Guy how many people he’d met in person from Plenty of Fish, he said not many, but about three in the past two weeks. Wow, that’s a lot – fast – in my opinion. I asked him how the meetings went. He said he wasn’t sure what happened. He thought they’d had great dates, but one girl proceeded to block him on POF and Facebook after the meeting, and the other hadn’t returned his e-mails. “Red flag!” my brain screamed at me, but I ignored it. Maybe those girls were crazy? Maybe there just wasn’t chemistry? I made up all sorts of excuses for him.
The conversation came to sort of a lull, so I pulled his profile back up to ask him something related to the interests he had listed. And that’s when I saw it – his marital status. I guess I hadn’t really noticed it before, but it said, “Not Single/Not Looking.”
“Random question,” I said. “Why does your profile say Not Single/Not Looking? Is that a typo?” I asked innocently. Surely, it was just an oversight.
“Here’s where you block me …” said Walt Disney Guy. He proceeded to explain that he has a girlfriend of three years. She moved to another city for work, and they are having some troubles. They’ll likely be breaking up soon. But in the meantime, he’s just looking for people to hang out with.
“So you aren’t looking to date? Or meet someone romantically? You just want to hang out?” I asked. I was quite confused by this development. His profile, after all, described the perfect first date (dinner and a movie, maybe a walk in the park, just something to really get to know each other) and the kind of girl he was looking for (someone who smiles a lot, is ambitious and he really doesn’t like drama). His profile, besides the Not Single/Not Looking, did not indicate anywhere that he was just looking for a friend.
He explained that I was right. It’s hard to make friends. He works long hours. He really loves his girlfriend. In fact, she has a POF profile too, where she’s just looking for guys to be friends with. They separately go out and hang out with said guys and girls, not on dates (but he does pay, he mentions) but just looking for new friendships. Cause, gosh, it’s hard to meet people in the city.
I’m not sure how I find these crazies. This is an online dating site. It is not an online making friends site. Not everyone on the site is looking to get married, but I can tell you that most everyone is at least looking to date or meet someone for some kind of romantic purpose (which can range from just hooking up in the bedroom to meeting, falling in love and living happily ever after).
I asked him if he’d told those other girls he met about his girlfriend before he met them. He explained he usually doesn’t tell girls about his girlfriend until they meet in person. He has to know if they are crazy before he discloses such information (?). Wondering why I still haven’t closed the IM, I explain to him that maybe that’s why they blocked him. He wasn’t clear about his intentions. He wasted their time on a date when he shouldn’t even be dating – he has a girlfriend. He should have told them up front he wasn’t looking for anything romantic. He should have it more clearly stated in his profile. Hell, he shouldn’t be on an online dating site to make friends.
I’m not sure why this was all so surprising to me. I mean, yes, you meet the guy with the girlfriend when you are out in real life. I’ve met a few at bars, guys who just really feel like they have a connection with me, but wow, it’s just bad timing, and they have a girlfriend. But, they still want my number. To text me inappropriately and try and convince me the girlfriend is temporary. Like I’m dumb enough for that crap. But I’ve never seen a creature like this on an online dating site. This is a new low.
“Actually, I’m surprised you’re still talking to me. You are a really cool girl. I’m happy I met you. When do you want to get together in person?” he asked.
“Umm, yeah. About that … I’ve got enough friends. Actually, my friendship quota is about tapped. But good luck to you.”
I closed the IM, and proceeded to block him. And another POF prospect bites the dust. Sucks too, I was really looking forward to our trip to Disney World.