Five Dates With Chef Recap
It’s been awhile since I updated you on the progress with Chef, and I think it’s partially because I’ve been so busy with other blog posts and partially because I’ve been a little unsure of where it’s going. Anyway, I wanted to give a recap on how things have been going. Fair warning: this is a long post, so grab a beverage and get ready to hear about the past two and a half weeks with Chef.
I don’t know if your family does this, but every Thanksgiving, we go around the table and talk about our highs and lows of the day. It’s actually really fun to hear what everyone says. This is how I’m going to describe my dates with Chef.
First date – Dinner, dessert and lots of drinks
Summary of date: See recap here.
High: The kiss at the end of the night. It was one of the best first kisses I’ve ever had.
Low: This date didn’t have a major low, but the tomato conversation might have been one. I appreciated the honesty, but I’m concerned we are in different places – I really just want to date. I’m not looking for anything serious, with anyone.
Second date – I’m a groupie, and OMG Denny’s
Summary of date: On the Saturday night following our first Thursday date, Chef asked me to come up to his bar/restaurant to listen to a band and hang out with him. I had no other plans, so I headed to Richmond. I felt like a total groupie, sitting at his bar for another night in the same week, and he’d even put my name on the list. After we left the restaurant, we ended up at Denny’s for breakfast at 2 a.m. Awesome pancakes – a high in themselves. And I haven’t been at Denny’s so late since high school, so that was really fun.
High: How awkward Chef got when his friends kept coming by our table to talk with him (and to meet me). One friend in particular was friggin’ hilarious, but admittedly a slightly odd character, and Chef seemed to actually be blushing. It was cute. Other high: After we ate at Denny’s, we walked to the car. Chef went to open the door for me, and kissed me. In the parking lot of Denny’s. You wouldn’t think it was romantic, but it oddly was. It was also made complete with some crazy people just outside of Denny’s who were yelling random things, which was kind of distracting, but funny and memorable.
Low: There were a few lulls in conversation through the night, and I felt like it was my job to fill the silence. And boy, did I fill the silence. Thing is, I’m pretty up front and there aren’t many topics I won’t discuss. I could tell there were a few things that I said that probably made him uncomfortable or he felt like it was TMI. He might be right, but the way I see it, that’s just my personality, and he can take it or leave it.
Third date – My turf, dinner, movie and a makeout session (oh my!)
Summary of date: Chef made the long journey to Chester to visit me at my humble abode. We went to dinner at a sushi place nearby (I don’t think he was a fan, and he actually used to be a chef at a sushi place so I can’t blame him for not loving some Chester sushi). We made last minute plans to go see Inception at 10:30 (um, way past my bedtime but he really wanted to see it). We killed time between dinner and the movie by getting a drink and going to Wal-Mart to buy a ton of candy to sneak into the movie theater. I knew my purse the size of a diaper bag would come in handy at some point. After the movie, he came back to my house. And we talked and made out. All night long. We literally went to sleep for 45 minutes, tops. It was crazy and fun and something I’ve never experienced before.
High: Making out all night. I’m not gonna lie, it was kind of amazing. Other high: The fact that Chef was game for sneaking snacks into the movie theater.
Low: Feeling like absolute crap the next day. Thank God it was a Friday because I can’t do that midweek!
Fourth date – Movie at home, weirdness (He’s Just Not That Into You) and the beginning of drama
Summary of date: This was the very next day after the marathon make out session. As Chef was leaving in the morning, he mentioned he wanted to try and get off of work that night and come see me again. I thought it was flattering that he wanted to see me so soon, and after such a fun night I was all about it.
But when he came over, things seemed really different. He didn’t seem to be into me at all and it seemed like he didn’t even want to be there. I wasn’t sure what had changed from just the night before, but I assumed he must have been just really tired. Or maybe during the day he changed his mind about wanting to hang out but then felt bad telling me so came over anyway. Either way, it was awkward.
High: The real high for this date was the anticipation of him coming over. Other than that it was actually kind of a bummer.
Low: As I mentioned, he just seemed pretty distant during this date. The main low for me was when he left, he gave me a peck. Like a passionless, we’re married, peck on the lips. I had to initiate a real kiss. Which was weird, especially considering we’d spent literally hours kissing the night before.
No date – just drama
After the fourth date, things felt weird with Chef. He was pretty distant all weekend, and although I was in town (I often go to the lake on the weekends), he didn’t make any attempt to see me again. I figured he was done, and because he was done, I was done too. I was already writing him off (I have a bad habit of that). On Sunday, we were texting, and I did something really stupid. I asked him a probing question without considering the consequences. I basically asked him how I compared to his perceptions of me prior to us going out. If you remember, he’d read the entire blog and had heard a lot about me from our mutual friend. I wondered what he thought now that he knew me pretty well. Man, was I opening up a can of worms.
Chef proceeded to tell me that I was exactly as he’d thought, only I was far more insecure. This certainly wasn’t what I expected to hear. He gave some examples of my insecurities (via text), all of which I felt were out of context. Not that I think he’s off base – I definitely have my insecurities. Just not about the things he referenced.
Part of me was pissed. I had no idea he was going to go there, passing judgment on me, and via text. And, I was bothered because it was like he was calling out the very worst in me – the part I want to hide, desperately. And truly, I couldn’t be pissed, because A: he was right, I can be insecure and B: I asked for it, so I shouldn’t ask questions I don’t want the answers to.
I explained back to him why he was wrong about some of his points, but that overall he’s right: I have insecurities. I’m not sure I would call myself an insecure person, but it is what it is. You go through what I’ve been through, and you’re bound to have a few insecurities. But, I pointed out to him that everyone has insecurities, even him. To which all he said was, “True.” I was unbelievably annoyed by the whole exchange and immediately went to bed after the conversation.
Fifth date – Lunch and making up
Summary of date: The morning following the insecurity conversation, I was pretty much over Chef. In the midst of calling me insecure, he’d said several times that he really liked me and wanted me to be comfortable with how much he liked me. But I didn’t see that. All I saw is here is this guy who has been distant for days and is now calling me insecure. Then, Monday morning, I received a text from Chef. He wanted to take me to lunch. This was surprising, considering our exchange the night before. I agreed.
High: I could tell he was trying to make up for the night before. I appreciated that he could tell I was pissed and that maybe he shouldn’t have gone there (not that he was really wrong, just maybe it wasn’t the right place to go) and he was trying to make it up to me. And suddenly, the connection was back. It was like Thursday night again and as though the bad Friday date didn’t happen.
Low: It was a little unnerving seeing him after such an awkward conversation the night before. And, he made no mention of the weirdness of the past several days. To be fair, neither did I. We just both acted like nothing had happened. Which can either be a good or bad thing. Other low: I was back into him. And he was going out of town for a week, which sucked.
So that’s where things stand now. We’ve been texting like crazy since he was out of town, and he comes back today. I’ve actually missed him since he’s been gone. We’re supposed to hang out tonight, and I’m really excited about it. I’ll let you know how it goes!
In the meantime, please sound off in the comments and let me know what you think! This is all new territory for me, so I’d love any advice you have to offer …