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Off to the Races

September 10, 2010

Courtsey of Rob Harris/Revolutionary Racing

Tonight, I’m off to the races. Literally and figuratively. First of all, my sister has an extra ticket to a NASCAR race in Richmond, so I’m literally going with her to the race. I’ve never been to a race for fun, but a few years back I worked at a race for one of my clients, which was a company that sold night vision binoculars. At these races, we walked around surveying drunk rednecks about what they would use night vision binoculars to do. Most popular answers? Night hunting (illegal) and peeping (as in peeping Tom – also illegal). So that’s to say, I’ve never really enjoyed the NASCAR experience myself. But, tonight’s a different story.

Tonight, I’m “off to the races,” more figuratively as well. You see, I’ve been sort of living a lie these days. I say that I am dating and that I am not in a committed relationship with Chef, but in reality I’m not really dating in as much as I am being really picky and not dating – anyone but Chef, that is. In fact, I haven’t even been recklessly flirting since my run-in with SPO (Well, I’ll admit. There has been flirting. But not nearly enough to call reckless). Seems a little like I’m in a relationship, without really being in a relationship.

Although Chef has driven me crazy a bit recently, I still like him and have come to peace with many of the issues. I have fun with him and I’m not ready to let it go for some of my crazy and not-so-crazy pet peeves. In fact, I had a moment where I initiated the, “Are you happy with how things are going?” conversation with Chef.

About 25 percent of me wanted to consider just not lying anymore and say it, “I’m not dating. In fact, I just want to date you and see what this is. I don’t want to date anyone else because it just feels creepy because much of the time, I’d rather be with you.” This is the same 25 percent of me that was going through a breakup hangover and was starting to really miss being in a relationship.

The 75 percent of me that knew I was certainly not ready for (or desirous of) a relationship was quieted by the 25 percent of me. For some reason, I wanted to feel him out (my love for drama?!). I suspect it would have been closer to 50/50 if he were agreeable. So I asked him what he thought about being in a relationship with me, or taking what we had to the next level.

Well, let’s just say the waters were not warm. He indicated that he was not ready to be committed to me; he usually moves too fast in relationships and wants to slow things down this time around; and while he’s not dating anyone else, he’s really not ready to make me a top priority (when he’s already so busy with his bar/restaurant). He’s just really happy with the way things are right now. Not to say he doesn’t see possibility in our future.

It stung, a little. Everyone wants to be wanted. But, wasn’t 75 percent of me in the same place? And why the hell did I let the 25 percent of me take over the good logic in the other 75 percent of me and cause me to have this very awkward, ill-fated conversation? I’m not mad at Chef, I’m just glad that his little speech brought me to my senses. And while it might sound like he was mean about it, he really was not – he was just honest, and I had asked.

That was all this past Monday. This is Friday. It’s race day. And I’m off to the races. It’s time to stop pretending to date and recklessly flirt – it’s time to actually date and recklessly flirt. I began the process Wednesday when I asked my dentist’s office if they had any cute patients for me during a routine cleaning. After a few texts, we learned that the only guy they could think of had just gotten a girlfriend. Yes, it was a fail, but you can’t win if you don’t try. I’ve been a texting fool with a few guys from Plenty Of Fish (one of them may or may not be Fireman, I know he sucks but he’s apologized and I actually find him humorous. I may meet him – just for a quick drink). Lastly, I’m starting to make it a goal to flirt with at least one person a day. Gotta keep in practice! And I read this blog earlier this week: New Month? New Men where this woman is trying to go on 30 dates in three months. If she can commit to that, surely I can commit to flirting with someone at least once a day! Hmm, maybe just every other day. When I’m feeling cute. What do you guys think?

So watch out, Richmond male NASCAR fans taller than 5’ 11”, look to be about the age of 24-33, seem to have a 401(k), no kids, are not on parole and are not “separated” from their wives. You watch out. Catherine is off to the races.

30 Comments leave one →
  1. Patrice permalink
    September 10, 2010 8:57 am

    You crack me up! I love your rigorous criteria for possible new amours. Love, PT

    • September 10, 2010 11:05 am

      Thank you! Yes, very rigorous criteria. Don’t know if any guy will ever measure up! haha 🙂 Have a great weekend!

  2. September 10, 2010 9:19 am

    You go girl! I’ll be cheering you on 🙂 And now I’m off to the gym for a quick work out before meeting Date #10… P.S. If even 5% of you is having doubts about not being #1 to this Chef fellow, then flirt away!

    • September 10, 2010 11:06 am

      Thank you! I’m cheering you on too. Enjoy Date #10…can’t wait to read about it.

  3. Beverly permalink
    September 10, 2010 9:25 am

    Have fun at the Richmond race tonight! I just know you’ll meet someone when you least expect it, so FLIRT away!!!

    • September 10, 2010 11:06 am

      Thank you! Flirting is a tough job, but somebody has to do it. I’m on it.

  4. September 10, 2010 9:34 am

    It’s really tough to be dating someone non-exclusively when things are just clicking away. I am in the same predicament right now, but there is a solution. Sure you want to only date Chef, but I find even if you just have your own LIFE—not necessarily date everyone you see, Chef will come around. So, you’re going to the races? Have a few beers, flirt a little, and be busy being you. Maybe tomorrow you’ll spend some time at the mall, or reading, you’re just busy living your life. Chef will wonder what you’re up to, and hey, since you’re not a couple you don’t have to answer to anyone—embrace it.

    Have fun!



    • September 10, 2010 11:09 am

      Thanks for your comment! Here’s the thing: I’m not even sure I want Chef to come around. Part of me really thinks he did both of us a favor. But you are right about living my life … and that’s what a lot of this is about for me. Not just flirting or dating, but just having a blast and enjoying my own life. It’s very exciting :). I do LOVE that I don’t have to answer to anyone, and I plan on enjoying it a bit more. Take care – have a great weekend yourself!

  5. Kelly permalink
    September 10, 2010 9:49 am

    I say flirt away, you are only young and single once in your life, live it to the fullest while you can and don’t turn away any opportunities that “might” lead to something good. Life is not always black and white sometimes you have to sift through the gray to find a great thing. And just cause someone else thinks your gray isn’t a good thing you must discover that for yourself…Keep up the great posts!

    • September 10, 2010 11:10 am

      Thanks, Kelly! You are right about the gray area- some people think what I’m doing here is crazy or wrong. But guess what, they aren’t doing it so it shouldn’t bother them so much! I’m happy to be in this place in my life, and I’m trying to make a more conscious effort to enjoy it. Appreciate your support.

  6. September 10, 2010 9:54 am

    I think it’s great that you’re self-aware enough to see your own splits of opinion and motivations – and to know that you love drama! I think quite a few people go through life not really looking at their own actions and choices. Good for you for taking the more demanding road. Hope you have a great time at both the literal and figurative races!

    • September 10, 2010 11:13 am

      Thanks, Matt. I’m probably one of the most aware crazy people I know. And, I do love drama. I know a lot of men hate that (I totally see why) so I am working on toning it down a bit, but it will probably always be part of me. I appreciate your comment – I plan on have a blast at the literal and figurative races! Happy weekend.

  7. September 10, 2010 11:51 am

    Have a GREAT time tonight! And flirt with crazy, wild, reckless abandon!!!! I hope you’ll walk away with some good stories to share.

    • September 10, 2010 3:25 pm

      Thank you! Absolutely – reckless flirting and stories are the goal. Can’t wait!

  8. Mr. Smith permalink
    September 10, 2010 4:02 pm

    A few thoughts…

    The races are a great metaphor for dating…going around in circles putting your fears behind you as race to the finish while at any moment things could completely go up in flames.

    And I thought to add a few other criteria for you that you forgot: Must have own teeth, family reunions must not end in gun fight, must not call your mother Mamma anymore, must have your high school diploma and lastly you must not wonder how Jeff Foxworthy knows so much about your family.

    Happy hunting and don’t forget your night goggles.

    • September 12, 2010 9:25 pm

      LOL…”Any moment things could completely go up in flames.” EXACTLY.

      Love the additions to my list. Think if I add them all, however, there may not be anyone for me to flirt with at NASCAR. 🙂 I will negotiate on high school diploma. I can take a GED. 🙂

  9. September 10, 2010 4:49 pm

    OMG, I love it, the uses for night vision bino’s for rednecks… I think I could ask my neighbors and give you some better answers, as I do live in NASCAR country. As in, ick, they have their shops here. I really had no idea about racing until I moved here, didn’t know it was a redneck sport, I thought I was moving “north”, lol… I suppose next someone will tell me California isn’t all hot blonde surfer dudes?

    Have fun girl, remember flirting to rednecks is different, wear your high hair girl! Have fun!

    • September 12, 2010 9:23 pm

      That’s so funny that you live in NASCAR country, so you definitely know what I’m talking about! Re: California, I just recently learned there are places in California where it’s not really hot at all and people don’t go swimming all the time because the water is cold. I had no idea! Ha, it’s obviously just common sense. I just always pictured all of California like 90210. TV has made me dumb.

  10. September 10, 2010 5:31 pm

    Reckless flirting? I like it. Go for it! I might just try it myself;) Have a good weekend! -SG

  11. September 11, 2010 9:23 pm

    This is going to sound crazy, Catherine, but some of the best flirting in the world can take place in a bookstore or at the library. Dorky, right? Not so fast…

    I’m going back to my single days here, but what can be better than cute guys who like to read? Because, if the like to read, chances are they don’t mind talking and actually getting to know you. And if they like Kurt Vonnegut? Magic.

    I’m telling you. The Barns and Noble fiction section is the place to be.

    • September 12, 2010 9:18 pm

      Thanks for the tip! That is not dorky at all, I think it’s an awesome idea. I think I might make it a field trip sometime soon. Because if the guy reads, he is probably more likely to be smart, an important quality to have in a man. Good thinking. I’m on it. 🙂

  12. September 13, 2010 8:51 am

    I actually unknowingly got myself in a monogamous relationship with a man…who thought of me as a FWB. It was great fun let me tell you. Get out there & flirt your fanny off girl! Nascar better watch out…

    • September 13, 2010 6:30 pm

      Wow, being in a monogamous relationship with someone who thought you were just FWB would be no fun. Both parties have to be on board with the FWB for it to work, I think. I had a blast, and definitely flirted my fanny off. I’m writing a recap tonight 🙂

  13. Maggie Malam permalink
    September 13, 2010 3:46 pm

    Go girl! Hope you had fun!

  14. September 13, 2010 6:12 pm

    sooo? how did it go? Did you find anyone worth dating???? Or at least flirting with?

    • September 13, 2010 6:31 pm

      Hehe, no one worth dating, per say, but definitely some fun flirting! I’m writing a recap tonight to go up tomorrow, I had a ball!

  15. September 13, 2010 10:19 pm

    You’ve got to be kidding me …. you have like 80,000 comments on each of your blog posts. You have the magic touch!

    So, how were the races? I’ve been to a few NASCAR events in my day and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Can’t say I feel the need to go again though:)

    • September 14, 2010 12:38 am

      Haha, don’t worry. I either pay or threaten half these people to comment. If a blog post goes up and no one responds, the sound of crickets makes me feel like I’m going nuts. So I make people comment 🙂 I often resort to blackmail. I’m not saying I’m proud, it’s just what it takes to run a blog. Lol.

      The races were fun!! I actually strangely want to go again. My recap of my experience goes up in the morning 🙂

      Thanks for commenting, Emily! No blackmail for you… Haha jk

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