Date Recap: Unbelievably Smart Guy
Guys, I can’t tell you how good it feels to be writing a date recap again. It’s been a really long time since I’ve gone on a date with anyone but Chef (not complaining, he’s a pretty good date. Just sayin’). Sure, I’ve been flirting so much that I’m actually kind of exhausted at night, but my dating abilities have not been getting the work out I intended. So here’s the recap of my date last week with Unbelievably Smart Guy (USG).
I met USG on Plenty of Fish. We talked back and forth for a while, and he won many brownie points with me when, upon first message, he mentioned specific items in my profile, wrote in complete sentences and didn’t have any self-portraits taken with his cell phone of his abs in the mirror. My initial main concern was his height – 5’ 6”, way below my 5’ 10” minimum. But his first message to me was good enough that I replied. See, I’m not completely shallow (whew, that’s a relief to even me).
Eventually, our conversations moved to text message. Still a winner. We set up a date to go to Secco Wine Bar in Carytown on Wednesday.
Wednesday came and I put on my date dress. I probably have about four main outfits that I wear over and over for dates (first dates, not second) and this was definitely my date dress. People at work even recognized it and said, “You have a date tonight, Catherine?” Indeed. I certainly do.
USG and I have talked a lot. He’s so smart. I can’t even properly put into words the kind of complex language he uses or the number of topics about which he can talk with me. It’s a little intimidating, actually. I mean, I’m no dummy (had a 4.0 in college, whoop whoop!), but I still feel like I’m lacking slightly in the intelligence department compared to USG. Especially when drinking. Which brings me to our date.
At the wine bar, we had some really good wine and lots of small plates (very trendy place, amazing food – Richmonders, I would go if you are considering it). He was open to sharing food (a plus, I hate people who are not sharers) and very friendly with the wait staff. It wasn’t until I saw how friendly he was with our servers that I realized how important this is to me. You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat the people serving them.
Conversation flowed almost too easily at dinner. We both have a lot to say, and we are both very fast talkers. It seems we didn’t finish many stories, because somehow each story would get side tracked. Which is fun, but damn there were some stories in which I really would have liked to hear the rest.
For some reason, I put off writing about this date because I didn’t know quite what I wanted to say or even how I felt about it. I am conflicted. The only way I can describe the rest of the details of the date is in the following manner.
I liked USG and this date with USG because:
- He made me laugh. And think. And feel pretty.
- He knows about the blog, but I kind of think he gets it more than other people do. He understands my intentions, my purpose and what this blog is (and isn’t).
- He has an incredible background. His family sounds amazing. His mom escaped Iran during a revolution, on horseback when she was eight months pregnant with USG. She is now a prominent feminist. His sister works on Democratic campaigns in Washington, D.C. (ie, she has my dream job). He comes from a family of feminists, and seems to actually get women. He mentioned that there are Wikipedia pages for half of his family. Is it wrong to want to date someone because you want to get to know his family? No seriously, am I bitch because part of me is more intrigued by his family and life story than I am in him? Or is that him?
- He made me want to talk with him more. In fact, the night of the date, I had to go home and bake triple chocolate caramel cookie bars (yum!) for an event at work. My intentions were to wrap the date up early so I could hit the store and then hit the kitchen. Let’s just say our date lasted at least three hours, which kept me up pretty late baking. After dinner and a couple of glasses of wine, he asked me if I wanted to get coffee. I kind of hate coffee. I drink it very seldom, and when I do, it’s usually with a shot of vanilla or in cappuccino form. He asked me if I wanted to have coffee with him after dinner and I whole-heartedly agreed. In fact, and I’m not proud, I pretended to like coffee. Granted, it wasn’t so bad after I added a ton of sugar, milk and half & half, but the fact that I misled him on my desire for coffee must say something.
- He’s socially liberal. Thank God. Literally the first guy since my ex fiancée that defines himself as liberal in any way. What a relief.
I’m not sure I liked USG and this date with USG because:
- I seriously don’t feel smart enough sometimes. I hate to put myself down, but I do wonder about it. And I can’t drink with this guy. After two glasses of wine, I felt myself having an even harder time keeping up.
- And in case you are about to defend me and say I’m plenty smart, I’ll tell you this. He mentioned on text message before the date that he was Persian. I didn’t think much of it. And then he mentioned his family is from Iran. Somehow, I was shocked. You’re Iranian? Where the hell did I think Persians came from? A country called Persia? And I minored in political science! I literally had to check out the Wikipedia page for Persian People to understand it all. He deserves smarter than that, for sure.
- When he walked me to my car, I realized that with my heels, we are the same height. It wasn’t a deal breaker, but I distinctly noticed it. Damn it, I’m so shallow.
- About 60 percent of the time it feels like we are in the friend zone. That is sort of part of the territory since he knows about the blog. The blog sort of opens up topics (ie, me dating other people) that normally wouldn’t be brought up in a normal dating environment. He’s actually said to me that he’s rooting for Chef. That’s so weird. And he tells me about the other girls he’s dating too.
- He kissed me, but I can’t remember it. It happened, but it didn’t stick with me. I remember more the way he smelled, or my surprise at him kissing me. I don’t remember the actual kiss. I know it wasn’t bad (trust me, I’ve had some bad kisses), but the kiss itself wasn’t memorable. The moment was, because immediately after he said something like, “Sorry, I just had to do that. Wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t give it a shot.” But I can’t remember the actual kiss.
- I felt like I was cheating on Chef. Although this date came after he said he didn’t want a relationship, and I recommitted myself to dating, I felt pretty shady. I felt fine the entire date, but it was during the ride home that I felt a little weird/gross/shady/don’t-have-the-words-to-describe-it-but-something-was-happening.
So that’s it. USG has said he’d like to hang out next week (which is about two full weeks between first date and second date, so maybe he’s as conflicted as I am?). I definitely think I need a second go-round to figure out what the heck I think.