Skip to content

Simply Solo Spotlight: The Official Guide to the First Date

November 30, 2010

Happy Simply Solo Spotlight Tuesday! Today’s guest post is written by none other than – Chef! I know, it’s almost too much to handle. When he said he wanted to write a guest post for the blog I was A: Excited because I think he’s a great writer, but B: Scared shitless because I was paranoid he would write something like “what it’s like to date a girl with a blog.” Or worse, what if he wanted to write a recap of one of our dates! I can dish it out people, but I seriously can’t take it. Luckily, neither of those scenarios panned out. I really think you all will enjoy Chef’s “Official Guide to the First Date.” And, be sure to comment people. You know you love you some Chef.  

Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Contact me at:

The Official Guide to the First Date

This past July, I went on a date with a lovely young lady I met through a friend. I actually asked her out via e-mail, which I had always sworn I would never do. I mean, how un-classy, right? Well, it worked and I secured my date.

At this point, it’s game on. I have about a week to figure out how to accomplish the one thing every guy wants to accomplish on a first date: a second date. I try to recall all the other first dates I have been on since the tenth grade in order to discover exactly what works and what leaves me sending texts and watching the phone for days applying text message strategy (see next guest post). It’s at this critical moment I realize I have been on quite a few first dates. Some may refer to me as kind of a “first date connoisseur.” So, here are a few useful tips for the men and some helpful insight for the ladies.

Dating for Dummies book

Photo courtsey of ZakVTA

First, never try to get too creative with where to take your date. There is no reason to go to an amusement park, sporting event or the theater. These may be fun and romantic in some ways, but usually these are reserved for dating boredom. Save these ideas for six to seven weeks in when you’ve run out of ideas. Almost always elect to have a nice dinner at a neighborhood restaurant, preceded or followed by a drink or two. Alcohol is your best friend on the first date. Don’t drink too much to become annoying, but just enough to break the tension and relax. If one or neither of you drink, that’s fine too. These rules still apply; you just will never have drunk sex. That’s too bad.

Now, what are you going to wear? Never underestimate how important these choices are. Sweaters are a definite no. You’re dead in the water if you wear a sweater and she will likely be allergic to it just to rub in how poor your clothing choice was. Wear bright colors, a collared shirt and nice jeans. No khakis; you’re not going to church. Never wear worn out shoes. They make you look like your room is a pile of dirty laundry which is quite unattractive. Cologne isn’t necessary, but if you do wear it, be conservative.

OK, so now you have your go-to dinner spot and you have washed your clothes today, so you have full access to your entire wardrobe. It’s time to discuss “during dinner etiquette.”

As far as what to order goes, never order the most expensive dinner item or the least expensive. You will either come off as pompous or cheap. Talk about what you’re in the mood for or how you had this one dish this one time (not on a date) and how you can’t wait to eat it again. Some lead-in as to why you’re ordering the stuffed quail will take the need for her to judge your eating habits away. If you are ordering wine, order what SHE likes and ignore completely your own tastes. Do not eat enough so that you’re completely stuffed and look like a pig. Chances are she won’t eat that much anyway; girls never eat on the first date. But, she doesn’t need you picking off her plate because you didn’t eat lunch.

Dinner conversation is the most important aspect of securing the second date. Take the President, for example. The President’s first hundred days in office are like picking the restaurant, wearing a nice shirt and shoes and ordering properly. The next two years are how one gets re-elected and the dinner conversation is how one gets a second date.

Never talk about the past, no matter how good or bad you were. No exes or college stories. Talk heavily about family and how awesome you are at your job. I’m lucky because I am a chef that owns a restaurant, so this sells itself. If you work for UPS, you may need to get creative. A girl likes a guy that likes his mom, so bring her up at some point, but just for second. It’s around here you casually slip in “hey, what ya doin’ this weekend?” Have something already planned to invite her along with you. This is when you get your second date. All the pressure is removed when it’s time for the goodnight kiss and the awkward “when will I see you again” conversation is avoided. Pay for dinner (no exceptions here) and walk her to her car with enough time for her to go home and get enough rest for the next day. Nice open-mouthed kiss, smile and rub her ribcage. She’s yours.

How did it work out with my July encounter? Well, let’s just say you can read about it on this one blog I know of.


34 Comments leave one →
  1. November 30, 2010 8:48 am

    Whoa…a post from Chef…Kiefer needs to step up his blog game.

    Nice post, Chef!

    • Chef permalink
      November 30, 2010 10:39 pm

      Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully it helps

  2. Ashley permalink
    November 30, 2010 9:49 am

    This post came 2 days too late! I had a first date on Sunday and while many of your rules were followed, some were pretty much ignored.

    On the positive note, if I don’t get a second date then I guess I’ll know where I went wrong…

    • Chef permalink
      November 30, 2010 10:40 pm

      and learning is half the battle. Thanks for reading!

  3. Just Saying permalink
    November 30, 2010 12:26 pm

    THese are things women already know. However it is nice to hear it coming from a MAN (not a man-child) who is in agreance with us.

    Chef, you’ve let regain faith that there are men with manners still alive and well, and hopefully still single out there.


    • Chef permalink
      November 30, 2010 10:41 pm

      I owe my manners to my mother. She taught me all I know. I treat women like I would treat her.

  4. November 30, 2010 3:33 pm

    The best first dates I’ve ever had were the ones in which we’d already planned a second date while still enjoying the first. Great tips – I have to agree, although I’m wondering why the no-sweater policy…

    • Chef permalink
      November 30, 2010 10:43 pm

      Because no one has ever looked good in a sweater. They are reserved for holiday parties and family gatherings. Maybe school pictures.

  5. Michelle permalink
    November 30, 2010 4:50 pm

    Outerwear is also important to think about when going on a date. Once I showed up to a blind date and the guy was wearing an over-sized blue hooded jacket and the first thing I thought was “it’s a good thing I didn’t get too dressed up because he obviously didn’t”. We’re married now but it kind of sucks that that’s the first thought I have of him.

    • Chef permalink
      November 30, 2010 10:45 pm

      The fact that you’re married dispels my theory, however, there are anomalies. The point of dressing casual is so that the lady doesn’t feel the need to wear a dress and heels. She can be comfortable too, but if she were to show up dressed up, you still are on an even plane.

  6. November 30, 2010 5:07 pm

    Thanks for writing this post for me! And thanks for not revealing any potentially embarassing information about me. That would seriously suck.

    Looking back on our first date, I can actually remember you doing some of these things. I still need you to demonstrate the rub on the ribcage, however. I can’t say I remember that. However, our first kiss was really good – it definitely left me wanting more, as I said in the recap.

    To be honest, I look back on our first date more fondly now than I did when I wrote that recap. Thankfully, many of the “red flags” I discussed are no where to be found. You are, in many ways, different but better than I realized in the beginning. Which is good – it seems too often the case is that people are different, but not in a good way, from the way they were in the beginning.

    Thanks for writing this post and for allowing me to write about you and our relationship. It can’t be easy, but I really appreciate that you support me.

    • Chef permalink
      November 30, 2010 10:48 pm

      It’s not hard letting you write about us. It makes me feel kinda popular. Like maybe the hot quarterback will ask me to the prom popular. Wait….nevermind. Just don’t forget to tell all the loyal readers about all the great food I cook for you!! Ha! Thanks for letting me write, it was quite therapeutic.

  7. Jessica permalink
    November 30, 2010 5:09 pm

    You are right on, no drunk sex would be a damned shame. I couldnt date someone who didnt drink for just that reason!!!!!

    • Chef permalink
      November 30, 2010 10:48 pm

      Neither could I. Thanks for reading.

  8. Millie Turner (Mom) permalink
    November 30, 2010 8:14 pm

    Great job Chef I thought you could cook you write to..

    • Chef permalink
      November 30, 2010 10:50 pm

      I can do lots of things besides cook. I am master at crosswords and Jeopardy, I bartend almost full time and I can spider sniff with the best of em!! Thanks for the comments and hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful.. Til we meet again….

  9. Kevin Turner Step Dad permalink
    November 30, 2010 8:20 pm

    Boy that was good where were you at when I was chasing Catherines Mom?

    • Chef permalink
      November 30, 2010 10:50 pm

      I heard she chased you! Thanks, Kevin. Hope your holiday was great!

  10. Joy permalink
    November 30, 2010 8:37 pm

    Great post Chef, I happen to be married to a chef and it is wonderful! Good luck with your dates to follow and I look forward to reading the recaps from Catherine!

    • Chef permalink
      November 30, 2010 10:52 pm

      Could you have him send me some recipes? I am running out of ideas to cook for Catherine when we eat in and she isn’t impressed anymore. Haha. I’m sure you’re well taken care of by your chef hubbie. Thanks for reading

  11. John permalink
    November 30, 2010 10:19 pm

    Look, if your jealous about not working at UPS just say so. Please note the block I just put your address. You’ll never get to deliver your package with that attitude!!!

    • Chef permalink
      November 30, 2010 10:55 pm

      I put the UPS blast in there to see if you were still reading. I love being right. Look on the bright side, at least you don’t have to worry about a first date for the rest of your life. Therefore, no need to tell about tracking numbers and the color brown. So riveting. Thanks for supporting Catherine, I know she appreciates it. Go Skins!!!

  12. December 1, 2010 10:48 am

    Love the post!! You are one in few guys that know how to date, because I have been on some pretty terrible first dates where not one of those rules were followed. One guy took me on a first date to a nice restaurant and decided while we were there to tell me he works there part time and can get our entire meal for free so “order whatever you like” as if that made me feel special, haha!!!

  13. December 1, 2010 5:11 pm

    I loved this! Well done chef! Well done!

  14. December 1, 2010 5:54 pm

    Totally awesome! Loved it …probably laughed a little with the rib cage laughing…

  15. December 1, 2010 10:45 pm

    Catherine, you asked and of course I included you in the dinner. I prepared an unexpected invited menu for you and others so come on by and check out the menu. We are also watching Knight and Day and there is brunch tomorrow! I hope you drop by to take a look.


    • December 1, 2010 11:08 pm

      Thanks Tom! Just stopped by the party – wonderful! Feeling a little chilly, without my clothes and all, but I feel very fortunate to have been included 🙂

  16. Chad permalink
    December 2, 2010 9:40 am

    Thanks Catherine and Chef, now I might actually get some second dates. I had most of the obvious (to me) stuff, but the job and family talk early on is good stuff.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: