Simply Solo Spotlight: The Official Guide to the First Date
Happy Simply Solo Spotlight Tuesday! Today’s guest post is written by none other than – Chef! I know, it’s almost too much to handle. When he said he wanted to write a guest post for the blog I was A: Excited because I think he’s a great writer, but B: Scared shitless because I was paranoid he would write something like “what it’s like to date a girl with a blog.” Or worse, what if he wanted to write a recap of one of our dates! I can dish it out people, but I seriously can’t take it. Luckily, neither of those scenarios panned out. I really think you all will enjoy Chef’s “Official Guide to the First Date.” And, be sure to comment people. You know you love you some Chef.
Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
The Official Guide to the First Date
This past July, I went on a date with a lovely young lady I met through a friend. I actually asked her out via e-mail, which I had always sworn I would never do. I mean, how un-classy, right? Well, it worked and I secured my date.
At this point, it’s game on. I have about a week to figure out how to accomplish the one thing every guy wants to accomplish on a first date: a second date. I try to recall all the other first dates I have been on since the tenth grade in order to discover exactly what works and what leaves me sending texts and watching the phone for days applying text message strategy (see next guest post). It’s at this critical moment I realize I have been on quite a few first dates. Some may refer to me as kind of a “first date connoisseur.” So, here are a few useful tips for the men and some helpful insight for the ladies.
First, never try to get too creative with where to take your date. There is no reason to go to an amusement park, sporting event or the theater. These may be fun and romantic in some ways, but usually these are reserved for dating boredom. Save these ideas for six to seven weeks in when you’ve run out of ideas. Almost always elect to have a nice dinner at a neighborhood restaurant, preceded or followed by a drink or two. Alcohol is your best friend on the first date. Don’t drink too much to become annoying, but just enough to break the tension and relax. If one or neither of you drink, that’s fine too. These rules still apply; you just will never have drunk sex. That’s too bad.
Now, what are you going to wear? Never underestimate how important these choices are. Sweaters are a definite no. You’re dead in the water if you wear a sweater and she will likely be allergic to it just to rub in how poor your clothing choice was. Wear bright colors, a collared shirt and nice jeans. No khakis; you’re not going to church. Never wear worn out shoes. They make you look like your room is a pile of dirty laundry which is quite unattractive. Cologne isn’t necessary, but if you do wear it, be conservative.
OK, so now you have your go-to dinner spot and you have washed your clothes today, so you have full access to your entire wardrobe. It’s time to discuss “during dinner etiquette.”
As far as what to order goes, never order the most expensive dinner item or the least expensive. You will either come off as pompous or cheap. Talk about what you’re in the mood for or how you had this one dish this one time (not on a date) and how you can’t wait to eat it again. Some lead-in as to why you’re ordering the stuffed quail will take the need for her to judge your eating habits away. If you are ordering wine, order what SHE likes and ignore completely your own tastes. Do not eat enough so that you’re completely stuffed and look like a pig. Chances are she won’t eat that much anyway; girls never eat on the first date. But, she doesn’t need you picking off her plate because you didn’t eat lunch.
Dinner conversation is the most important aspect of securing the second date. Take the President, for example. The President’s first hundred days in office are like picking the restaurant, wearing a nice shirt and shoes and ordering properly. The next two years are how one gets re-elected and the dinner conversation is how one gets a second date.
Never talk about the past, no matter how good or bad you were. No exes or college stories. Talk heavily about family and how awesome you are at your job. I’m lucky because I am a chef that owns a restaurant, so this sells itself. If you work for UPS, you may need to get creative. A girl likes a guy that likes his mom, so bring her up at some point, but just for second. It’s around here you casually slip in “hey, what ya doin’ this weekend?” Have something already planned to invite her along with you. This is when you get your second date. All the pressure is removed when it’s time for the goodnight kiss and the awkward “when will I see you again” conversation is avoided. Pay for dinner (no exceptions here) and walk her to her car with enough time for her to go home and get enough rest for the next day. Nice open-mouthed kiss, smile and rub her ribcage. She’s yours.
How did it work out with my July encounter? Well, let’s just say you can read about it on this one blog I know of.