Simply Solo Spotlight: Diamonds are Forever (Ruining My Christmas)
Today’s Simply Solo Spotlight are the lovely and very funny ladies from the Cocktails At Tiffany’s blog. These girls tell it like it is, and never fail to make me laugh when I’m reading their crazy stories. And, they’ve been an amazing support system to me the past couple of months – I love you girls! I hope you enjoy their guest post as much as I did.
Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Contact me at: email@example.com.
Diamonds are Forever (Ruining my Christmas)
A key to keeping you sane throughout this post: Gizzy blogs in BLUE and Lucky blogs in GREY.
When it comes to Christmas, something has been bugging me for years. The jewelry commercials. They have got to go. When I was younger, I didn’t really notice them until my dad said something.
“Those jewelry ads make me feel like crap if I don’t get jewelry as a gift for your mom,” he said.
I started noticing them when my ex-boyfriend told me he would never again spend $100 for a piece of silver with a diamond in it, I never got that gift because he did it for his ex. Now, those same ads make me feel like crap because I don’t have a man in my life to buy things like that for me. I know Catherine has struggled with this, and she merely solved it by going out and buying herself a nice piece of jewelry. And she’s right, us single ladies don’t need someone to put a ring on it, we can do it ourselves. I suggested to Lucky that we buy each other jewelry for Christmas. I think it’s a sound idea, although other people may take it the wrong way, giving each other diamond rings and making a promise to never let men walk all over us probably doesn’t scream straight like we want.
But I’m a sap. And getting jewelry from a man would be amazing. But you know what? I think I only think that because I have been brainwashed by Tiffany’s. Take this year’s commercial, for example:
I mean, the music. Like I can’t have myself a merry little Christmas if it doesn’t involve Tiffany’s. And I do not mean to bash our blog’s namesake, but come on! I mean everyone in that commercial is freaking gorgeous. That guy bringing the Christmas tree over with the blue box? Sigh.
Since I’ve never gotten Tiffany’s for Christmas, I’m pretty sure that means I’ve never had a real holiday.
Exactly, my first reaction wasn’t, ughh I want jewelry. It was ughhh I want jewelry from THAT GUY! And then I sulked at how I will never be as put together as any of those women. They’re gliders. Gliders are a special breed of women. They don’t walk, they glide. And gliding, my friends, is very classy. If I tried to glide, my heal would get stuck in a crack on the sidewalk and I would fall and knock my two front teeth out. Which would be no help in getting the guy from the commercial to buy Tiffany’s and drag trees down the street for me.
Kay Jewelers really has some zingers out there, including this one:
Like no guy, even my future husband (if that ever happens) is going to wake up at 2 am on Christmas morning to give me a piece of jewelry. Because I suck. And my life is over. Yeah, guys love sleep as much as they love sex. I would be like, “Hey screw your jewelry, here’s a real present: take the baby so I can get some shut-eye, spanks!”
In all honesty, these Kay Jewelers commercials are the creme de le creme of annoying jewelry commercials for me. I want them banned from television. They just keep switching out the lady’s jewelry! Sometimes he gives her a watch, sometimes it’s a pendant, sometimes a bracelet. I know we’re in tough times here, but come on Kay Jewelers, you’ve got your actors for the day, lets bust out some creativity here people!
There is another commercial that bugs me more than both of these—where the boyfriends are going aroung doing sweet little nothings for the women in their lives…drawing a heart in the frosted window pane, etc.
There’s got to be something that can get me away from all this Christmas-he-went-to-Jared-every-kiss-begins-with-Kay crap. A stiff drink? A nice massage?
I’m open to suggestions.
T-minus 11 days until the Christmas jewelry commercials are over, then it’s time to anxiously await the Valentine’s Day, or what we single ladies like to call our dark day. We’ll have a whole new set of commercials to complain about when that rolls around.
Lucky and Gizzy from Cocktails At Tiffany’s