Simply Solo Spotlight: Taking a Chance
I hope you guys enjoy today’s Simply Solo Spotlight, who has asked to remain anonymous. I love this story, because no matter how it turns out, this girl is my frickin’ hero.
Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Contact me at: email@example.com.
For a handful of years, I’ve been facing a situation that I’d wager almost every reader has experienced at some point. I’m a girl. I have a friend who’s a guy. And I’m interested in being more than friends.
As everyone knows, it’s never that simple. What if we gave the relationship a try, and it didn’t work out? Or even worse, ended badly? This guy is a close friend, and he’s extremely important to me. Moreover, our group of friends would be his in the metaphorical divorce; they’re a longtime, tight-knit bunch who adopted me when I moved to our city. Sure, I’d get partial custody. But a key part of my support system and social outlet would be changed forever.
So I’ve said nothing. Wondered. Thought about how good we could be together. Analyzed all of the possible outcomes, should I say something. Wished he’d just make it easy and say something first.
Eventually, something’s gotta give. For me, one major factor was hearing B.o.B.’s “Airplanes, Pt. II,” featuring Eminem and Hayley Williams. The song has been out for a while, but I heard it several times in a short timespan. And one line in particular stayed with me. It echoed in my head at work. In the car. With my friends. In the shower.
“’Cause he never risked sh*t/ He hoped and he wished it/ But it didn’t fall in his lap/ So he ain’t even here …”
You wish for impossible things. What I wanted was not impossible. And I was just sitting back, waiting. For what? A fairy godmother to swoop in? When did I become so passive in my own life?
So, a few days later, I grew a big ol’ set of steel cojones and just talked to my friend. Not in a scary way. More of a “Hey, have you ever thought about our being more than friends? I’d be interested in giving it a try if you would.” Simple and direct.
He was shell shocked, quite frankly, and completely unsure of what to do. The conversation that followed, though, was open and honest. Ultimately, he needed some time to process. He’s mulling things over as I write, trying to sort out what he wants.
Where does that leave me? Feeling like a ROCK STAR, my friends. Because as I drove away that night, I realized this: the answer isn’t really the point.
The point is that for the first time in a long time, I said, “this is something I WANT, and I have the power to DO something about it.” As nice as it would be, chances at happiness usually aren’t handed to any of us on a silver platter. The time was ripe to be bold.
As of this moment, I don’t actually know what will happen. It easily could go either way. I’m confident, based on our conversation, that should he decide that he’s not interested, we will be able to maintain our friendship. That is a huge relief.
(Let’s be honest – he should be flattered, right? Who doesn’t like to be liked?)
And, regardless of his answer, I can:
- Stop wondering, analyzing and waiting
- Be proud of my courage – it’s NOT easy to put yourself out there
- Take this sense of empowerment and run with it
Soon it will be a new year, with the promise of new adventures. I’m really excited to swing those steel cojones around a bit more. The payoff is worth the risk.