Simply Solo Spotlight: A Lot Can Happen In A Year
Happy Tuesday, folks! Today’s Simply Solo Spotlight is written by TL from Diary of a Single Girl. This girl is amazing – she’s smart, a great writer and has been incredibly resilient over some hard times. Her writing and experiences resonate so incredibly strongly for me, especially as we have been through some similar challenges this past year. I hope you enjoy her guest post today – I couldn’t have written it any better.
Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
A Lot Can Happen In A Year
A lot can happen in a year.
Christmas Eve 2009, I was getting ready to fly home to my parent’s house with my then-boyfriend to spend Christmas with my family. At the time, we had been together for nearly two years, and were living in a home we owned together. We talked a lot about getting married. In a “when” kind of way (as opposed to an “if” kind of way). I was hoping that since we would be spending Christmas with my family, we would have our moment. The moment when he asked me to be his wife.
As we packed, he handed me a large box. It was light, very light. I eyed it, and asked, “Are you trying to trick me?” I was teasing. Fishing for a hint. He looked at me and very seriously said, “We are not getting engaged this Christmas.” I was crushed. I had been hoping and expecting to get engaged for more than a year. I wanted to be married. I wanted to be his wife. My feelings were being hurt because he didn’t seem to feel like marriage was as important as I did.
Over the holidays, we had many conversations about marriage. And about our future. What we wanted. We talked a lot. He admitted that the idea of picking out a ring, and popping the question, was intimidating. He had no idea what kind of ring I wanted. He thought I wanted a big deal proposal. I didn’t. I just wanted to be married to him. We talked some more. He told me that he wanted to be married to me. So we picked a wedding date together, New Year’s Eve 2010. We went to the store. We picked out a ring. We were engaged! We were getting married! We shouted it from the rooftops.
I planned a wedding. (A freaking awesome New Year’s Eve Bash wedding!) I had a dress. He had Spiderman cuff links. I had purple shoes. We sent save the dates. Our friends and family booked flights. I ordered a wedding gift for my soon-to-be husband.
And then it all fell apart.
It kind of happened over time. He grew distant. Everyone around me told me it was cold feet. And that it was nothing to worry about. He told me it was nothing to worry about. That he loved me, and that he wanted to marry me.
Four months before our wedding, he called it all off. And broke up with me. I was stunned. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Where was I supposed to live? What city? What province? What country? Was I supposed to stay where I was, in a city far away from my family? That hadn’t mattered before, when we were making our own family.
People all around me kept saying that things happen for a reason. That now, I could do anything that I wanted. I could change jobs. I could travel the world. I could be anything that I wanted to be. At first I cried. A lot. (A lot). Because all I had wanted was to be his wife. But then, I realized that they had a point. I could do anything that I wanted to do. I could be anything that I wanted to be. I made a decision. I want to be a lawyer.
So between the tears, and the hard days, I began to study for the Law School admission test (LSAT). I began to research law schools. I began to make small plans. And then big plans. I realized that I could do something else. That my life wasn’t defined by the dreams that I used to have.
Because that is the hardest part, isn’t it? The future that you had all planned out in your mind is gone.
When Christmas Eve 2010 came around I was in a totally different place. I was no longer dreaming of a wedding, instead I was mourning one. Rather than waiting for an engagement, I was waiting for a test score that would help with my new life plan. Instead of dreaming of houses and babies, I was dreaming of a new single life, in a new city, with a new school.
Though this past holiday season was hard, it was amazing to look back and see how far I had come. So many things happened in such a short time. In one year, I got engaged, planned a wedding, had my heart broken, and picked up the pieces. I am growing more each day. It is amazing to look back, because it shows you how much can change. The next year can bring anything. Imagine where I will be in a year from now.
Imagine where you will be in a year from now.
A lot can happen in a year.