Simply Solo Spotlight: How Can I Meet Men?
Today’s Simply Solo Spotlight is written by Julia, who reached out to me a few weeks ago for some dating advice. I gave her the best advice I could, but I really felt like she could benefit from all of your thoughts. After all, I’ve only been doing this dating thing for a very short time – I still have so much to learn myself! I can’t wait to hear the advice you all have to share (I’ll be taking notes!).
Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Contact me at: email@example.com.
How Can I Meet Men?
I’m Julia, I am 23 years old, single, and suck at dating. Blah, my dating life has been fairly boring. Every guy I have dated has been a friend of mine prior to me dating him. I believe that is my main problem, so of course my friends and family have tried to help me in this department.
Take my last date for example. A family friend has been working with my mother to set me up with her grandson. We are similar in age and both like computers and video games. A match made in heaven, according to my mom. After texting and talking on the phone for a few months, J asked me out to a hockey game. I love hockey, so I was really excited to go.
When I met him at the rink, I realized that the “few” friends that were coming along with him was not just a few, but 10. So we all get our tickets and go inside, make small talk and that is about it. Once the game starts, I try to start a conversation with my date, which comes to a halt almost instantly. So, I keep watching the game.
One of my friends Kim (who is a season ticket holder) texted me from across the arena saying, “I have never seen you look so unhappy here.” Oops, I guess I better look more interested. So I turn to start a conversation with him again and he is gone. Sigh. So, I watch the game some more and when he returns 20 minutes later, I tell him I am going to speak to my friend. Kim was a God send! She said I should ditch him, but I knew that wouldn’t be right. So, I go back to my seat and realize there is still 40 minutes left of this agony. J tried to make conversation as well, which was going great until I realized his friends were telling him what to say.
Eventually the game ends, and J offers to walk me to my car. I kindly declined, gave him an awkward hug and walked to my car and left. Later on that night when I got home, I got a text from J asking if I had fun. I couldn’t tell him that I wished I was the one the defense men were slamming into the boards. So, I figured, “I enjoyed the game, thanks for inviting me” would do the trick. We haven’t talked much since. All he seemed to care about was video and computer games. Don’t get me wrong, I like video games too, but there is so much more to me as a person than my interest in video games.
So, that brings me to why I need advice. I can’t take many more dates if they are like this. I don’t go out very much, so I don’t really know how to approach a guy who hasn’t been my friend before. Everyone keeps telling me that I am still young with plenty of time to date. That’s all well and good, but most of my friends are either engaged, married, or have children. The worst of it is, my family is beginning to ask me when I intend to date more. Right now I just want to date and have fun, but first I need to find some guys … Help?