Loose Ends – August Edition
It seems I have a problem with this blog.
Oh, I mean a problem besides the fact that I recently realized that companies fondly referred to as site scrapers have been stealing my content and selling it to other websites – without attributing or linking back to me at all.
I have a problem updating you all on the things that are going on in my life. Because I usually write just one blog post a week (in addition to the Simply Solo Spotlights), I try to make each post substantial. I like them to be stand-alone pieces that are more than just a “This is what I’m doing this weekend and have you tried the Ben & Jerry’s Triple Caramel Chunk ice cream? It’s amazing.”
Although, this weekend I am having my first ever blogger meet up with Katie from Domestiphobia! She and her husband are coming to my family’s place at Lake Gaston. We had a really fun phone conversation the other night, and I’m super excited to meet her! Oh, and have you tried Ben & Jerry’s Triple Caramel Chunk ice cream? It really is amazing.
What ends up happening is that I only update you on a few select big things, and little things often fall through the cracks. And since the last time I tied up loose ends on the blog was February, I figured an update is probably about due.
First of all, and really, most importantly, Tabbie hasn’t turned up yet. I know you guys have been canvassing Chester in search of her, and I really appreciate your efforts. I guess it’s better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all …
I’m still somewhat angry about my ex fiancé and his new girlfriend. Not gonna lie. But I’m working on it. I unfriended him on Facebook, which was a really big step for me. I even asked my friends to unfriend him too so that I couldn’t, in some weak moment, try to find out what he’s been up to. [I should note, these weren’t his close friends that I asked. They were primarily my friends that became his friends (in real life and on Facebook) when we were together. I don’t want to give the impression that I’m trying to make our mutual friends choose between us.)]
I mentioned before that I’m having a hard time letting go of the tangible pieces of our relationship. Well this past month, my hard drive crashed. I mean crashed crashed. Lose everything, including all your pictures, files, hopes, dreams, will to live … crashed.
I was like Carrie in Sex and the City.
Computer repair man: “When’s the last time you backed up your work?”
Carrie: “Um, I don’t do that.”
It became pretty clear that I had lost everything. Work files, pre-drafted blog posts and about seven years of pictures. Gone. Not backed up.
Gone were the files I used to plan my wedding, including invitation lists, inspiration boards, receipts, contracts, etc. My entire dream wedding, gone.
Also gone was pretty much every picture I’ve ever taken with my digital camera. Including every picture I took when I was with my ex fiancé.
At first I cried. Okay, I cried a lot. Then I started to feel very Zen-like about the whole situation. Maybe this was for the best. A fresh start. This was like ripping the Band-Aid off and starting completely over.
The minute I came to terms with my loss, the hard-working IT guys at my company were able to save a few key folders. One of the folders they happened to save was my wedding folder. Figures. The one folder that I have no earthly idea why I hold onto, the one folder I was happy to see go, is now back on my computer, under my control.
I have all these reasons for not deleting the folder. “I could use these files to help my friends as they are planning their weddings!” True – I did use some of them for Teya’s recent wedding. But is that a good enough reason to let a cancer like this stay on my computer?
Do I really need a picture of my wedding dress and dream bouquet? Or pictures of me and my ex registering at Macy’s?
You think that you have come so far and then you can’t delete a folder. I’m trying, and getting better. But it hasn’t all disappeared overnight.
I also realized that I tend to only tell you about Chef when I’m breaking up with him or fighting with him. I don’t tell you how hard he makes me laugh; or how he’s still the best kisser ever; or how he loves me, respects me, and buys me my favorite flowers; and tolerates my baggage and fear of commitment. That stuff isn’t nearly as interesting … but it’s happening.
I never told you that my Dad has completed all of his treatments, and he’s doing great. He’s even shown me that people can surprise you … which I’ll talk about in a future post.
And lastly, I haven’t updated you on my quarter life crisis, or informed you that I finally bit the bullet and signed a new 18-month lease for my apartment in Chester. I’m going to forgo buying a condo for now.
I waited until the very last minute to sign the new lease. I was really struggling with the decision, because this wasn’t where I expected to be in a year. When I first rented my apartment, it was supposed to be a temporary solution.
In a year, I’d planned to be in an amazingly better position. I’m not sure what I thought that position was; maybe it was a new guy I was living with, maybe it was a condo I purchased, maybe it was living in a tent in Costa Rica. I don’t know. I just didn’t picture a year later, a year older, resigning a lease for the same one-bedroom apartment.
Once I decided the smartest decision was for me to stay in my apartment, I realized that I need to focus on the things I love about it a little more:
- Ample parking – My dreams of moving to Richmond didn’t really include ample parking. Even though I’m proud of my newfound parallel parking skills.
- Apple Bees, Cracker Barrel, Panera, oh my – Easily assessable chain restaurants nearby. They are so successful because they are good, people.
- The pool – My beautiful apartment complex pool, perfect for lounging.
- Not one, but two Bruster’s Ice Cream locations nearby.
- An easy way to test friendships – Think someone’s your friend? Ask them to visit you in Chester.
- Never run into coworkers – Love my coworkers, really do, but when I go to Kroger in my pajama pants, I’m happy to know that the odds of me running into one of them is slim to none.
- Don Pepe and Steel Horse – Two restaurants within walking distance of my apartment. And they both sell adult beverages. Who needs to live in the Fan?
- Best friend that lives upstairs – What would I have done this past year without this support system?
- Actual apartment amenities – It really is a nice apartment, with hardwood floors, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, a huge walk in closet, a fireplace, etc. There’s plenty to love.
- It’s mine – This apartment is mine. All mine. And just because I rent and not own doesn’t change that. I buy whatever girly bedding I want. I clean when (and if) I want. I buy whatever artwork inspires me. I participate in wonderful “secret single behavior,” like plucking my eyebrows an inordinate amount, blasting CNN in the morning because I simply must hear it from the bathroom, eating ice cream for dinner, taking 30-minute showers, watching the same movie three times in a week, etc. What’s not to love about that?
Whew, I think that’s about it. See ya’ll again in another six months for another “Loose Ends” update.
What’s new in your life? Any “secret single behavior” to which you’d like to admit?
Copyright 2011. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.