Since we last talked, Chef got Saturday off, so he was there to weather Hurricane Irene with me. But, I’m proud to say, I did all the prep work myself! Here’s my hurricane handbook detailing how I survived Irene – and had fun doing it.
1.) Make a list and go to the grocery store. Because you are the last person in the Greater Richmond area to make it to said grocery store, your options will be flavored water and cinnamon swirl bread. Oh well, at least you can make French toast. Don’t forget the chips, candy, beer and wine. These are all staples of a proper hurricane diet, and calories don’t count during natural disasters.
2.) Shower, pluck your eyebrows and straighten your hair right before the storm hits. This will be important for pictures later. Half the city being without power and the roads being impassable aren’t excuses for looking less than your best.
3.) Fight off the urge to eat your hurricane snacks. Hurricane snacks may only be eaten once the hurricane actually starts. If there is no rain falling, you cannot open the Cheetos. No exceptions.
4.) Fill the bathtub with water, convinced your water is going to go out and you can use the bathtub water to flush your toilet. Be slightly concerned when you notice the water in the bathtub has an oddly green hue.
5.) Observe how animals are reacting to the storm, like the cutest squirrel ever outside my apartment.
6.) Watch trees go down in your backyard. This one didn’t even make a sound.
7.) Watch endless hours of hurricane coverage, because the storm could change direction at any time and you simply can’t miss it. And, the video of reporters in their bright yellow raincoats and floppy hats are priceless.
8.) Brave the elements and go out for dinner/drinks with friends and family. Be honest with yourself when you admit this outing is more about the daiquiris and less about the food.
9.) Take pictures of yourself in your hurricane gear. When you pose, be sure it’s something ridiculous looking like this.
10.) Once you are two daiquiris in, have Chef record you pretending to be a news reporter covering hurricane conditions in Chester. Be sure to have a fun anchor name, like Catherine Grypable.
11.) Dry off from the hurricane report and proceed to drink wine and watch movies all night.
12.) Once the storm has passed, realize that 75 percent of the people in Richmond are without power and do the “I still have power jig.”
13.) Feel a sudden onslaught of survivor guilt for having come through the storm unscathed and offer your shower and couch to those without power. Yesterday, my sister used my shower, and last night, my stepdad slept on my couch. If you are without power and promise not to murder or rob me, you can use my shower too.
14.) Always stay alert. You never know when the next natural disaster will come your way.
Hope everyone faired okay in this weekend’s storm … take care out there!
Copyright 2011. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.