Simply Solo Spotlight: Spice of Life
Hope everyone had a great Labor Day! Today’s Simply Solo Spotlight is written by Bennie, who writes My Ideal Woman. The first time I read Bennie’s blog, his most recent post was …She’d Have Curves, which was an ode to a woman’s hips. I immediately became hooked to his lyrical writing and appreciation for the female form. Check out his blog, and I hope you enjoy his guest post today.
Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Spice of Life
The other day I was driving home and thinking about the big changes your life undergoes when you divorce or split with your significant other after many years together. In my case, I was married 12 years with about 3 years together prior to that, a pretty long time as a “unit.” It can be scary contemplating your life flying solo, and yet I couldn’t help but feel an undercurrent of excitement in the notion. Splitting up needn’t be tragedy so much as opportunity, not least of which is chance to experience firsts all over again.
Firsts – one of the spices of life! As an adult, when we reflect back to the joys of childhood, we think about how nice it was to be carefree, taken care of, unburdened by responsibility. And yet I think one of the best things about being children is experiencing things for the first time. It’s exciting, wonderful, sometimes terrifying, but nearly always impactful. As you grow up you get to experience less and less “firsts” as more of your life is filled with routine and habits.
One of the joys of having children of your own is getting to experience them experiencing their firsts – I wrote a Livejounal post calling those moments “candy for the soul.” What they don’t tell you about parenthood is just how insanely busy you become, and you get buried in routine and habits, struggling to take care of your children in addition to yourself, your partner, your home, and work. Sleep often suffers, which of course makes things harder. And yet when you see your little one first try a new food, or take her step in the ocean surf, or make up his first story on the fly and tells it to you on a long drive back home … it makes everything worth it and then some.
Relationships offer up a gaggle of awesome firsts to experience, so when you find yourself single again after a long, long time all sorts of first possibilities open up. I consider myself an optimist, a glass-half-full kinda guy, so instead of dwelling on the negatives of being alone, I spend time thinking about future firsts I have in store for me. Yes, some of those firsts will be less than great as you stumble around trying to find common ground with someone new, but that’s part of what makes it so exciting!
That very first date. The first date after a first date. That first look of genuine pleasure on her face when you plan a surprise for her and pull it off. The first time a mutual friend tells you she likes you, a lot.
The first time you hold hands. The first hug. The first time she comes over to your house. The first time you cook dinner for her. The first time she spends the night. The first time she uses your shower.
The first time you kiss. The first time your tongues explore each other’s mouth. The first time you learn what turns her on. The first time you hold her bare breasts in your hand, feel her nipples harden beneath your touch. The first time you feel and hear her orgasm. The first time you watch her sleeping peacefully. The first time you wake up with her arm across you.
The first time you learn that something you find adorable in your lady – her nose, her lips, her ears, or her fingers – is something she’s self-conscious about.
The first time you learn what her favorite comfort food is. When you first see her cry for sentimental reasons. When you first learn that she’s much stronger than you thought.
The first time you become friends on Facebook and see crazy old pictures of each other. The first time you notice she’s changed her status to In A Relationship with you.
The first time she wears your tee shirt, or coat. The first time she tells you something she’s never told anyone before. The first time she buys you a little gift “just ’cause.” The first time you sing a song together. The first time she kisses your boo-boo.
The first time she meets your kids. The first time she meets your parents. When you find yourself sick as a dog and she comes over for the first time and nurses you back to health with chicken soup, NyQuil and tucking you in to sleep.
The first time you watch the sunset together. The first time you see the sunrise together. The first time you go on a weekend trip and she drives your car. The first time you wake up together and start laughing over what a crazy night that was.
And a whole host of firsts you can’t even begin to imagine …
I’m ready for it, looking forward to it! So many doors that can only be open for you to step through because a relationship you were in came to an end. It’s exciting, wonderful, sometimes terrifying, but nearly always impactful. Some firsts are going to be lasts as you bounce around, trying to find someone that fits … but eventually, firsts will lead to seconds, and more firsts, and the next chapter in your life begins to write itself with liberal helpings of spice.
What’s your favorite first of a new relationship?
Copyright 2011. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.