You may have been wondering where I’ve been …
First, I was really busy at work. Including a company retreat with a white water rafting trip where I
got soaking wet had a blast.
Then I got sick (probably from being soaking wet outside in October). I was on the porch of death, I was so sick. During my week off of work. Fail. I got better, just in time to go back to work, only to get sick again. Which is the current state of affairs.
Of course, then I was a zombie. That condition usually isn’t reversible, but it was in my case.
When you fancy yourself a writer, a potential writer, a hack-hoping-to-someday-be-a writer…
You feel kind of crappy when you don’t write.
Like a failure.
Feeling like a failure makes me feel even less like writing. (As does the ABC app on my iPad that enables me to watch every ABC show at my convenience. Revenge. Pan-Am. Modern Family. Happy Endings. That amount of TV is not conducive to works of creative literary genius.)
Because that’s what I’m doing here. Works of creative literary genius. Obviously.
I don’t know if you guys are trying to tell me something, but the funny thing is, I’ve gotten more new subscribers not writing than when I do. Hello, all 600 of you!
Like what I did there? I made you think that I recently got 600 new subscribers. Yeah, that’d be pretty awesome. I’m saying hello to my total email subscribers. (And I love each and every one of you!)
I was really in not writing mode when a reader emailed me about his breakup and my blog. He said, and I quote, “I liken your blog to Adele’s album (if you know it, 21 it is called) … Shit hurts, but then it will get better. My friends tell me this, but I don’t listen, yet when I hear (read) a complete stranger blog about it, I know it will be alright.”
Nicest. Email. Ever.
Have I told you lately how I feel about Adele? About 21? Obsessed. Really. I could rewrite both my breakup song lists (here and here) and make them all Adele songs. She is incredibly talented and her songs perfectly complement a tough breakup. If I were a breakup doctor, and had a breakup prescription, her album would be part of it. Along with:
- The book It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.
- Ice cream or pizza (depending on whether you like sweet or savory). Fat kid and like both? Try ice cream, pizza and macaroni & cheese. Just for good measure.
- Wine. Lots of it. (Or beer, if you must.)
- Aspirin following said beer/wine, along with the wise decision to not drown your sorrows in alcohol. We all have to learn the hard way.
- Girlfriends (if you are a girl) to drink with and watch romantic comedies to remind you how much love sucks (because the women in the movies find the one and you have no one and will likely die alone). Guy friends (if you are a guy) to drink with and watch strippers to remind yourself that hot girls with daddy issues are a dime a dozen. Okay, that’s an unfair stereotype. Strippers aren’t really necessary for the healing process. What is necessary is that you lean on your friends and share your feelings. They may not know exactly what to say, but you need to talk about what you are going through.
- A hobby to keep your mind off everything. [Fine print: Hobbies cannot include stalking his/her Facebook page, driving by their house, eating from a chocolate fondue fountain by yourself in your apartment, starting a blog about cancelling your wedding or other crazy behavior.)
- Felicity. All four seasons. Seriously, can you guys just trust me on this, already? I wouldn’t lead you wrong.
- Some good advice (if you are ready). And if you are really having a rough time, there’s no harm in seeing a therapist. If you are uncomfortable with the premise of seeing a shrink, just tell everyone you are seeing a life coach. Life coaches are so hot right now.
- Reckless flirting. Notice I said flirting – not dating. Right after a breakup, you need to spend some time being single. Trust me. But a little confidence boost is just what the doctor ordered.
- Reflection. You are going to be pretty busy, with the new hobby, drinking, bonding with friends and all. But you really need to spend some time reflecting on the relationship, and feeling the pain of the breakup. If you don’t spend time mourning your loss, you’ll never be able to move on.
- Follow @Dear_John on Twitter. And not just because I freelance tweet for this account. And I get a small bonus if I hit 1,000 followers. Because it’s a good account to follow while going through a breakup. Hint, hint.
Another reason I haven’t written is because I’ve been busy with this new hobby I have, which is giving strangers in the grocery store advice on what kind of ice cream to buy.
I know. I’ve lost my ever loving mind.
You, see, it wasn’t until last Friday night that I realized it was a full-blown hobby. A little advice here or there, not a big deal, I thought. “If you like chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream,” I told one lady in Martin’s the other day. “You really should get the Mrs. Field’s Chocolate Chunk Cookie Dough. The chocolate chips are actually like shaved chocolate – so much better than traditional chips, don’t you think?”
You would think I would have realized I had a problem when I spent a good 20 minutes talking to Chef’s parents about ice cream. I’d ask their favorite flavor, and then inform them the best brand/place to get it.
What? I didn’t tell you I met Chef’s parents?! Approximately one year after Chef met my parents, I finally mustered up the courage to meet his. I’ve been commitment-phobic and scared and have basically refused to meet his parents until I was ready. When I told Chef I was finally ready, he gave me several weeks before he brought me over there. Maybe he thought I’d take it back. I’m shocked he would think that about me. It’s not like I told him I loved him and took it back, or anything.
But I was ready and excited to meet them. Date was scheduled. Outfit was picked out. Conversations were brainstormed. Game on.
To be continued…
Okay, don’t be annoyed. I’m not trying to go all Days of Our Lives cliff-hangery on you, but this story was just too long for one post. Come back tomorrow for the rest of the story!
In the meantime, what would you add to my breakup prescription? I know many of you have been through some serious heartbreak, so share your advice in the comments!
Copyright 2011. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.