Simply Solo Spotlight: Worst Date Ever – Wolf Man
Today’s guest post is written by C. Sitterly of Cup of Sensibility. For more than a year, I’ve asked for readers to share their worst date stories in my “quick shameless plug” below, but I haven’t had many takers. Today, C. Sitterly tells us about hers! And really, there’s nothing like a worst date story. Once you are done reading and commenting, be sure to visit her blog!
Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Worst Date Ever – Wolf Man
It was during a lonely, perhaps desperate, time in my life when I agreed to be set up on a blind date by my cousin. She wanted to set me up with her husband’s brother. How bad could it be? Verrrrry bad I was soon to find out!
I’m not the kind of person who is focused only on how a person looks. Yes, there must be some sort of attraction, but a personality goes a long way. My cousin’s husband was alright to look at, and she said that his brother looked just like him. I had met his family at their wedding and didn’t remember this, but perhaps I wasn’t paying attention. After all, I was a bridesmaid in their wedding and had broken my foot the week before. Instead of walking down the aisle on crutches, I took two shots of tequila and walked down pain-free and crutchless, but alas, that is a different story.
The evening before the date, my aunt called me and told me to steer clear of my prospective date. She said he was crazy and not something I would want to look at. I called my cousin to ask her why she would do this to me, but she convinced me that her mom was full of it and that everything would be fine. Needless to say, I was a bit wary.
My date (let’s call him Jake–but let’s not confuse him with Jacob from Twilight. You will understand more, shortly) and I spoke on the phone several times before our Friday night date. He seemed alright. Normal, even. And then Friday night was upon us. I dressed super cute and straightened my hair. Really, I went all out. Finally at 7 p.m., he called me from his cell to let me know he was parked in front of my apartment complex. I hadn’t wanted to give him the exact apartment just in case (thank God for foresight!). I took a deep breath and walked down the long driveway to the street. To the beat up old truck that was smashed in various areas.
A gentleman he was not. He leaned over to swing open the passenger’s side door. When I looked in to see my date, I almost jumped back in fright. Was it a werewolf? It was furry all over, or so it appeared at first glance. But no, it was not a werewolf. It was just my date. He had a long, fuzzy mullet. While this in itself took me aback, it was the reek of alcohol throughout his vehicle that really got me. Perhaps I became briefly intoxicated by proxy, because instead of turning and running the other way, I got into the truck. I really didn’t know how to get out of this date. Once I was belted in, he leaned over and gave me a wet, sloppy kiss on the cheek. I almost fainted.
We had planned to go to the movies in beautiful Pacific Grove, California. As he was from the bay area, he wanted to first take a drive around the beach. I held on for dear life as he navigated the twisting roads. He wanted to get out and sit on the rocks. I really wasn’t feeling it, but not being the most assertive person, I got out and followed him. He pulled out a brown paper bag. What the hell was this? Oh, alcohol. Inside was a bottle of Cook’s champagne and two plastic champagne flutes. Really? Because he smelled like he actually lived in a brewery, and because I didn’t want him driving me with more alcohol in his system, and perhaps even to dull my own senses, I proceeded to down half the bottle within fifteen minutes.
We then hopped back into the truck and went to the movie theater. While waiting in line, he began to strike up a conversation with three little girls standing in line in front of us. They were probably about 12 years old. He spoke to them as if they were adults. In fact, it could almost be said he was flirting with them … almost. We took our seats in the theater and luckily the little girls sat directly in front of us, probably to resume their conversation with this interesting, wolfy stranger that was my date. As the lights dimmed and movie previews began, he told them, “Ok, Little Girls, turn around and watch the movie. I may want to give this one a smooch,” as he tilted his head toward me. I respond with, “Nooooo Little Girls, keep us company.” The wolf, errrr…I mean, my date, looked at me with a hurt expression on his face. For the entire movie, I stayed as close against the empty seat next to me as I could. I think he finally got the point as he didn’t try to make a move. He wanted to go out after the movie, but I claimed to have a migraine so he took me home. He kept trying to call in the days after. I changed my number. And that was the end of that.
Do you have a worst date story to share? Sound off in the comments!
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