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Simply Solo Spotlight: Dating Advice for Real People

May 29, 2012

Happy Simply Solo Spotlight Tuesday! I hope everyone had a fantastic Memorial Day weekend. I got a little over eager in my appreciation for the start of summer, and today I’m burnt to a crisp. Otherwise, I had an exceptionally good weekend. Hello summer! It’s going to be a great season.

Today’s guest post is written by relationships and comedy writer Dennis Hong. Dennis is the creator of two fantastic websites – LemonVibe (which he’ll tell you about below) and Musings on Life and Love. You may remember that Dennis has written for Simply Solo before, with his very informative posts: Dennis’ Online Dating Dictionary and Six (Billion) Simple Rules Guaranteed to Help You Find the “One.” I hope you enjoy today’s post!

Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Find out how you can be the next writer for Simply Solo here!

Dating Advice for Real People

Quick show of hands: Who here has ever sought out dating advice?

If you’re reading this right now, there’s a good chance you found Simply Solo precisely because you were looking for dating advice. And that’s awesome. Admitting that you need help is the first step, right?

Getting good advice isn’t always easy. Photo courtesy of Jen Collins.

Well, the problem is the second step. Because once you’ve admitted that you need help, you still have to figure out where exactly to go for said help. Even turning to the internet, you’ll find countless “dating and relationship experts” out there, all ready to dole out heaping bowlfuls of gooey advice. But, can you really trust that any given “expert” will be able to understand your situation?

If you’re skeptical, we know exactly how you feel. And that’s why we created LemonVibe, a dating advice site for real people to help each other out. At LemonVibe, you’re not stuck with the advice of a single self-proclaimed expert. Instead, you get help from people just like you. And then, you get to rate everyone on the quality of their advice.

After all, we believe that questions on dating and relationships are often just too complex for any one person to have all the answers. Let’s face it, if love were easy, we’d all have found our soul mates by now, right? That’s why our system is set up to give advice seekers as many perspectives as possible, which they can then use to help themselves make the decision that works for them.

And since every advice giver is rated on every piece of advice they’ve ever given, you can quickly see which who is likely to be more helpful. Our experts don’t get their titles through clever marketing or advertising. They earn them by giving advice that is consistently deemed helpful by other members of the site. Just think of LemonVibe as Yelp for relationship advice!

Check out a recent question we had on cheating. Specifically, if we cheat on our partner, should we tell them? Here are some of the highly rated comments that we had:

lilredbmw (+8 helpful rating):

If my husband said he was cheating on me, I would be brokenhearted. If he never said anything, I wouldn’t know and, thus, would NOT be brokenhearted. But in a committed relationship, the other person has a right to know.

Erica Swagger (+10 helpful rating):

If you have cheated and you know it was a one-time mistake… I understand not telling them. If you know that you were wrong and are positive you’ll never do anything again, telling your SO will only end the relationship that you just realized you DO want to keep.

However, if you’ve cheated a few times… you need to end the relationship you’re in. You don’t need to say, “hey I’ve been cheating on you,” but just end the relationship. Tell your significant other it’s not what you wanted and go find something else.

Resullins (+8 helpful rating):

It was YOUR mistake, and you should live with it. Confessing is ultimately a selfish act because it makes YOU feel better and your partner feel worse.

Kier (+6 helpful rating):

But your partner has the right to know. Being in a relationship means that you’ve agreed to exclusively be with them, and they have the right to know when that trust is violated. If someone didn’t tell me they cheated on me when they knew they could get away with it, I’d be more angry about that than the actual cheating.

MitziM (+11 blunt rating):

Anybody who thinks that lying or keeping secrets from their partner is protecting them is possibly delusional. I suppose I could see the line of thinking if someone were cheating for a while and decided to leave the person they’re with because of it. At that point, no, they don’t need to know and it will probably hurt a lot less if you just leave without explanation. However, all this “If it was a one-time mistake I wouldn’t want to know” stuff blows my mind! If someone honestly makes a mistake and gets way too drunk or lets someone catch them off guard or whatever, the first thing a truly honest person would do is beg their partner for forgiveness.

As you can see, dating and relationships create some complex issues. Well, we’ve created the perfect setting for people to discuss these issues. So, do you need dating or relationship advice? If you do, check out LemonVibe.

Or, do you fancy yourself something of an insightful advice giver? If you do, then we hope you’ll join in on the discussions, and maybe you’ll become one of our community experts!

 

Copyright 2012. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.


4 Comments leave one →
  1. Claudia permalink
    May 29, 2012 12:11 pm

    Interesting idea, but that’s a lot of really bad advice. Except for the last one.

    Maybe I read too much on the net, but I have little faith in humanity. Especially the anonymous kind. What’s to stop people from rating positively the advice they want to hear instead honest good advice?

    There is no such thing as oops I accidentally slipped and fell into someone’s vagina. People cheat because there is something wrong with the current relationship. If you are going to stay and work on it, then keeping secrets and lying isn’t going to work: so tell them. If you are going to leave, leave with explanation but adding the cheating part is pointless and mean.

    • May 29, 2012 1:02 pm

      Well, everyone (not just the advice seeker) can rate everyone else’s advice, so the ratings represent a general consensus of all the members of the site.

      We created the site specifically because 1) the issues that arise in relationships can be very complex, 2) we want to allow for all the varying points of view that may be out there. The cheating question illustrates exactly that: People aren’t always going to agree, and what seems black-and-white to one person may not be so black-and-white to another.

    • February 3, 2013 11:21 pm

      I wouldn’t say that they are bad advice just either unrealistic or better said than done.

  2. May 29, 2012 2:20 pm

    Reblogged this on Inside The Nice Guy and commented:
    Wondering where I’ve been lately?

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