Simply Solo Spotlight: Sometimes A Bad Thing Is The Right Thing To Do
Happy day-before-the-Fourth-of-July! I hope you have fun plans – I’m on vacation this week! Anyway, today’s guest post is written by Alex, an 18-year-old university student from England who is using her single time to focus on making herself a better person. She writes The Apple Juice Project, a diary where she writes about her personal experiences and shares funny stories and videos.
Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Find out how you can be the next writer for Simply Solo here!
Sometimes A Bad Thing Is The Right Thing To Do
Coming out of a two-year relationship is tough, and for the first few months of my first year of university, it was very hard for me. I had random crushes on people I met and my emotions were like a rollercoaster. Not to mention the fact that every time I started feeling better, I’d see my ex and I’d be back at square one.
But that was then. Slowly, I’ve developed into a strong, independent young woman (I’d like to think so anyway) and now my thoughts of my ex are few and far between. Finally, I’m free to enter a healthy relationship should the opportunity arise.
The opportunity did arise. I became interested in this guy I knew and it turned out that he liked me too, so eventually we became a couple. He liked me, I liked him. No problem right? Wrong.
Even though the relationship started out all right, it very quickly lost its excitement. Which at first I thought was normal and just meant that we were comfortable with each other. But then, after about two months, slowly at first and then very suddenly, I realized something really bad. I didn’t love this guy, I didn’t love him at all.
Suddenly I found myself in a relationship with a guy who liked all the same things I did, laughed at the same things I laughed at, and also accepted me for the weird and crazy person that I am. But I also found myself lying to him every time he told me he loved me, which unfortunately was pretty often. He was head over heels in love with me. Many people told me to try and talk this out with him, but how was I supposed to say, “Look I’m really sorry but I just don’t love you the same way you love me,” without us ending in a break up?
For the next few weeks, I tried everything to make myself fall in love with him, but of course nothing worked. In the end, I had to accept my feelings and tell myself that I was going to have to let this wonderful, sweet and caring guy go.
Then the nerves kicked in. I’d never done something like this before. In all the relationships I’ve been in, I’ve always been the one to be dumped; I’ve never had to break up with someone before. I was terrified, the anticipation was horrible, but I knew I had to do this. Finally, I was able to meet up with him and tell him, the words couldn’t come out properly, I stumbled around and even though he insisted he was fine I could see the pain and hurt in his eyes.
I kept telling myself this was the right thing, better than lying to him for another six months only for it to all come out in a massive fight or something.
So now I’m single again, but it’s not the end of the world. I know this is good for me. Although I can’t help wondering if I’ll ever find someone who would be so understanding of my personality, and love me so unconditionally like my now ex did.
Sometimes a bad thing is the right thing to do.
Have you ever had to end a relationship even though it seemed perfect? Or maybe have you been scared to do something which will make you look like a terrible person? If it’s the right thing to do, then the people who care about you will understand and won’t judge you.
Copyright 2012. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.