Skip to content

Simply Solo Spotlight: When Life Hands You A Reset Button

August 14, 2012

Today’s guest post is brought to us by Matthew Sanchelli from Inside The Nice Guy. It’s been forever since I’ve had a male perspective on Simply Solo and it’s much needed. If you enjoy Mathew’s writing as much as I do, be sure to check out another guest post he wrote on Simply Solo a while back: Lessons Learned A La Carte.

Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Find out how you can be the next writer for Simply Solo here!

When Life Hands You A Reset Button

At some point you may be presented with the opportunity to reflect on your life; to reflect on your actions, your choices, and decide, “What do I want to do differently?” Often these opportunities come one-at-a-time. But occasionally you get assaulted with more than one. You now have the option to refurbish your life and get it back in like-new condition.

Reset Button

Photo courtesy of Jodilei

Call it what you wish; reset, reboot, overhaul, start over, take a mulligan, wipe the slate clean, take another turn. They all essentially mean the same thing.

Will you take advantage to learn from your “mistakes” and do a few things differently while maintaining consistency with the things you are happy with? Whether you view this circumstance as a gift, or dilemma, you have been presented with a rare commodity; one that many people often wish to have themselves.

Please consider the following scenario.

Say there is a guy who has recently been let go of his job. Reset #1. He now has the option of going for whatever job he wishes. In a timely, though maybe inconvenient, fashion his girlfriend of two years breaks up with him. Reset #2. He now can live by his own rules and consider only the needs of himself. Not believing in pure coincidence, we’ll also say the lease on his apartment expires in the next month. Reset #3. He can now go anywhere without being tied down to a home obligation.

What do you think he should do? All three of these instances, at the same time, have provided him an all-access pass to Extreme Makeover his life.

I was first given the opportunity to reset my life during the fall of 2003. Having graduated college earlier that year, I was now living back in my hometown with my parents (no lease). I was holding down two jobs to build up a nest egg, but neither position was something I saw as long term (no career). Living with my parents didn’t make my dating life all that easy either (single as they come).

All the credit goes to my father for making me realize that I was in the position to make my life precisely what I wanted. Any dreams, any goals, that I wanted to achieve were at my fingertips. It was that October when I decided that the first week in January 2004 I would move to Los Angeles.

That decision is probably in the top three best choices ever made in my life. I took a risk and slammed my hand down on that giant red button, hoping beyond hope there would be no Whammy. Fortunately, when I left LA about four years later, I can say I have absolutely no regrets. I accomplished what I wanted and made some of my own dreams come true.

But don’t think I’m going to wrap things up now with something like, “Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.” (How great is Casey Kasem though?)

What would be the point of taking a risk without learning from it? Even when trying to make dreams a reality, we’re going to make mistakes. Even when we’re given the opportunity to start everything over, we need to consider what needs to remain consistent and what needs to change.

The other day, while at work, the song ‘Lessons Learned’ by Carrie Underwood began to play on my Pandora account. If you can honestly say this song does not make you think, or lift your spirits even the slightest, then expect a liar liar coming your way. No matter what is going on in life at that very moment a sliver of perspective plunges deep into the heart and soul. This four minute, ten second, piece of reassurance subtly broadcasts a universal message we all need to hear from time to time.

And all the things that break you,

Are the things that make you strong

You can’t change the past,

Cause it’s gone.

And you just gotta move on,

Because it’s all

Lessons learned.

Perhaps I should make a minor side-note. Obviously, we don’t only learn from mistakes. We also learn from life, we learn from observance and we learn from experience. Ultimately, all of those things factor together when choosing to go one direction or another.

Recently, a reset button appeared yet again before me. Not just a little reboot either. This had the potential to be comparable to being part of the witness relocation program. And to be completely honest, it was tempting.

My lease was ending. My relationship ended. Some promotions at my job had barely slipped through my fingers. Who wouldn’t be tempted to throw life into the wind at that point?

But I considered my “lessons learned.” Building a new foundation (new life) didn’t make any sense when the current ground was doing more than a fine job holding things in place. Just because the button screams “Push Me!” doesn’t mean anything, or everything, currently is wrong. Sometimes life locks up. When your favorite Nintendo game froze, you didn’t think “Awww, I knew I shouldn’t have made Mario throw that fireball at that second Goomba. Better think of a completely new plan of action.”

The problem wasn’t how you decided to play the game, there was just a little dust in the darn cartridge.

Continue message on WindowsThis time around hitting reset would have been the easy (and weaker) way out. It would have been like giving up on everything I still had.

So if you should find yourself presented with one of these rare opportunities, don’t be afraid to take the risk. But should you continue to find that button sitting across from you, seriously consider if you’d really be gaining anything, and what you’d potentially be losing.

The way I see it; you can only reset something so often before you eventually erase it forever.

 

Copyright 2012. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.


11 Comments leave one →
  1. August 14, 2012 11:39 am

    Great post! I agree with you about re-setting too many times (are those gypsies?) But not fearing change and re-setting when necessary is the key. I admire your courage to move to LA! I’m hoping my kids make good choices and don’t fear moving away from their home. My son has a yearning for NY and he’s too young right now but I hope in time he’ll hit re-set when necessary. Life sure does throw us curve balls though! Good luck in re-building on your existing solid structure 🙂

    • August 15, 2012 9:15 am

      Thank you Lisa. It can be difficult to figure out when a reset is necessary, particular at the beginning. I think as time goes on it is much more clear about whether you should or not and it becomes more necessary to fight the temptation.

      I’m sure with the outlook you have this topic you’re kids will know what needs to be done when the time comes.

  2. Anonymous permalink
    August 14, 2012 2:51 pm

    This post came at a really great time for me. I truly thank you for that. I pushed the reset this year (got dumped for my 1st time in life. Major reset #1.) (Sold my business. reset #2). (Moved to a new city reset #3). This article gave me a new perspective and was thought provoking.

    I wish I only knew when to know when not to push the reset button. The end kind of left me hanging and analyzing my own situation. Anyhow, I hardly have time to comment on posts, but this was a great one so thank you, kindly. SB

    • August 15, 2012 9:20 am

      Well SB, I should really be thanking you. After your comment here (and on my blog) you’ve added more resolve as to why I write about what I do and why it’s important.

      That’s part of the fun (and frustration) with the reset button; not knowing when to push it. It’s good that you took time to looking into your situation and gain that perspective. I think it all really comes down to if you’re pressing the button for your own happiness or if you’re simply pressing it out of fear from the things that have already begun to change.

  3. August 15, 2012 12:21 pm

    Well said! I’m glad you looked at the other side of the coin, so to speak. Many of us are inclined to just keep resetting, hoping one of these times we hit the three 7’s — location, love, and job. But it’s also important to learn to recognize and appreciate the things in which we’ve already invested time — be it a certain city or a certain career path — and realize when it’s not in our best interest to start completely from scratch.

    • August 16, 2012 7:27 am

      Thanks Katie. You know just as well as anyone how much I loved the work I was doing in LA, so it was tempting to consider moving back there for those career options. But, things are good here in KC too, being that I really like the city itself better than LA (though it could really use a beach).

      I used to weigh my life by what I did for a living. (I’m sure you can relate to me on this one a bit). This is not true. Sure we spend most of our life at work but it doesn’t define me. So why would I let something like that drive me from a place that makes me happy; where I’m surrounded by people who really care about me.

      On a side note, I still am not getting any e-mails when you post something new. The world simply does not want me to subscribe to you. 🙂

  4. Leeza permalink
    August 17, 2012 5:41 pm

    I am at one of those crossroads in my life where I am faced with these types of questions. My relationship just ended. I am not tied down to the apartment I am in (although I consider it an asset) and I am ready to continue with my career but I am not sure about the course I want to take. In some ways, I am absolutely terrified – but I am also excited to shape my future.

    • August 20, 2012 9:25 am

      Leeze, sounds like you’re in the perfect position to mold your life precisely how you want it to be. Though it may be daunting don’t let it frighten you too much. Just believe in yourself and trust that whatever decisions you make they’re going to put you where you want to be.

  5. August 19, 2012 1:40 pm

    Pressing the reset button in your life some times makes you happy and brings happiness
    but at the same time you need to take extra care while pressing the reset button as it can change the lifestyle in a big way. Anyways nice post.

    • August 23, 2012 9:26 am

      Thanks, and I completely agree. These sorts of resets usually result in big changes that often aren’t as easy to change back. But there can definitely be benefits in either case.

Trackbacks

  1. Life moves pretty fast…and can change even faster « Inside The Nice Guy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: