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Simply Solo Spotlight: When Only a Bad Boy Will Do

February 21, 2012

Happy Simply Solo Spotlight Tuesday! Okay, okay. I know I’ve been a little MIA lately. I came back from Hawaii, told you about skydiving, and haven’t written in the two weeks since. I promise that all is good; I’ve just been tackling some pretty cool projects at work and am keeping happily busy. I promise I’ll write a new post just as soon as I can!

Single Edged Blades book coverIn the meantime, you get to read this funny guest post by Deanna Roy, author of Single Edged Blades: 7 Stories for a Broken & Angry Heart, a book all about the Bad Boys who REALLY wish they’d never dated a writer.

Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Contact me at:

When Only a Bad Boy Will Do

The bedroom eyes of BadBoy867 watched me from the sidebar, and I willed myself not to click. Even an innocent glance at his profile would alert him to my interest, as OKCupid maintained a “visitor” list, and I was too cheap to upgrade to anonymity.

I had just come off a double dose of bad boys, meeting one in the hallway by the bathroom of a bar when I was supposed to be waiting for the drummer on stage to finish his set. Both situations were disastrous.

Drummer Boy neglected to mention the impending arrival of Little Drummer Boy, and stumbling to his door one night at 3 a.m. to an ex with a baby belly sitting on his couch had been no gentle wake-up call.

So I moved on to Mr. Bathroom Rendezvous, who turned out to be pseudo-homeless, more interested in my shower and my refrigerator than a relationship.

I’d had more bad boys through my door than a principal’s office, and yet, there didn’t seem to be a 12-step program that led to the Nice Guys. I tried to date them, I really did, and for a while enjoyed the novelty of flowers and good restaurants.

But OKCupid’s insistence on labeling men as Matches, Friends or Enemies had opposite the intended effect. Despite carefully putting in answers about true love, long relationships and walks on the friggin’ beach, every time someone came up as 60% enemy, I knew they were for me.

And so I’d go, admiring the tats, the three-day-old stubble, the silver chain across the hip. I had a type, and it wasn’t Helvetica. Times Roamin’ all the way.

I knew the cycle of ecstasy-misery had to end sometime. Part of me realized that the crash was actually part of the fun, the rock bottom they talk about in AA so that you can pick yourself up when there is nowhere lower to go.

But then comes the day when you move to the next dating site age bracket and suddenly you wonder what the hell you’re doing. How long can I really get away with leather skirts and push-up bras?

Engagement picture Deanna Roy

Deanna and her Nice Guy fiance

I’ve picked a Nice Guy now, and it looks like he’s going to be the keeper, provided I actually show up for this shindig everyone’s invited to in June. Thing is, he’s figured out he has a Bad Girl, and half the fun is helping him do all the things to ensure we both hang on to the Nice Girl underneath.

Do you have a Bad Boy addiction? How did you kick it?

Copyright 2012. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 21, 2012 11:51 am

    I have a weird lonely boy addiction, and have no idea how to kick it!

  2. February 21, 2012 11:55 am

    So you go for the guys who otherwise wouldn’t be dating someone? And you feel guilty leaving them?

  3. February 23, 2012 10:14 am

    Funny how life works isn’t it. I feel bad for all the teenage and young 20’s good guys. They all feel like they have to act like a jerk to get a girl, but that doens’t work either :-).

    Glad to hear that you found your good guy. When it’s all said and done, it’s about finding someone who makes you happy. Congrats 🙂

  4. February 23, 2012 10:15 am

    I apologize for the gratuitous use of smilies in the previous comment.


  1. Bad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do (date ‘em!) « Deanna Roy
  2. Simply Solo Spotlight: Dangers of Dating Yourself « Simply Solo: Single girl starting over – follow the journey

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