Simply Solo Spotlight: Top Tips to Prevent Relationship Problems
Today’s Simply Solo Spotlight is written by Carly Morson who works with Greatvine, an organization that lets you talk on the phone with, and email, the country’s best experts whenever you need advice. Greatvine has hand-picked leading specialists in more than 100 topics – from breastfeeding and baby sleep to anxiety and depression, diet and nutrition, creative writing and even starting a business.
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Top Tips to Prevent Relationship Problems
Ask any couple who has been together a long time and they all say the same thing – the secret to a long-lasting relationship is compromise. If you want to stay with someone for years, and more importantly stay happy, you have to be prepared for a bit of give and take.
These days though, we’re taught to expect the best, and the art of compromise has, by many people, been forgotten. “We’re worth it!” the ads tell us, and, “Don’t accept anything less than perfect.”
However …
NEWSFLASH! No one is perfect. Nobody. Not even you. We all have our flaws, and love is about taking someone’s flaws and all. Unfortunately, a lot of modern day relationship problems stem from seemingly petty irritations – toothpaste caps left off, dirty socks on the floor, dishes in the sink. When you move past that first flush of love, the habits that seemed cute to begin with can begin to grate.
None of these issues are serious in themselves, but many of us let them build up, resentment simmering gently below the surface, until one day you blow your top and it all comes tumbling out. As far as the other person is concerned, they haven’t got a clue what’s going on. So they left their socks on the floor? What’s the big deal?
In the name of everlasting love then, here are some top tips to help you keep issues in perspective:
Okay, these socks are pretty gross. But are they worth a fight? Photo courtesy of knittingbrow
- Never complain about towels or socks on the floor. Yes it’s annoying but really, does it matter? “Yes!” I hear you cry. “Of course it does, it’s a sign of respect!” Is it though? If you really wanted to actively disrespect someone, would you choose towels as your weapon of choice? I wouldn’t. It’s not very imaginative, is it? When it comes down to it, towels really don’t matter. If it bothers you, pick them up, otherwise, get over it.
- Put yourself first – you know the mantra, nobody else will love you until you love yourself, and that’s true. Think about the things that make you happy, keep up with friends and hobbies, and respect your own boundaries. Being naturally clear and assertive about what you want will get you much better results than being sulky.
- Never offer to iron a shirt. If there is a task you particularly hate, don’t make a martyr out of yourself by doing it anyway. You’ll only resent your partner for it in the end, and they won’t even know what they’ve done wrong. Yes, it’s good to be supportive, but play to your strengths. If you’re good at cooking, cook. If your partner feels manly washing the car, let him get on with it and then be amazed at how shiny it looks.
- Have sex with your partner at least four times a week; otherwise be prepared for him to go elsewhere. Hahaha! Not really, that one is a joke. Do it is often as you want, enjoy it and never fake it. Otherwise how will he learn?
What are your tips to prevent relationship problems?
Copyright 2012. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.
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Hi gorgeous Catherine! Lovely post. I agree that any individual in a relationship must continue being who he or she is… Continue doing what he or she loves…. (keeping up with friends, etc…) It has provided immense comfort in my relationship, that when I want to spend 2 hours on the phone with my girlfriends back in Texas, my fiance simply laughs at how silly I become in a matter of seconds once the phone calls begin. I also love the point you make of not offering to do something you hate. I do it all the time, and never considered the possibility of holding it against my fiance in the end! Beautifully states points, as always. Thanks for the refresher!
Hi Brittany, thanks for you comments!
tahnsk …a s a single bilingual I love what others have to say about being in a relationship, I miss it
Wonderful advice. I do believe that compromise is necessary in relationship and it is true that nobody is perfect. However, I simply cannot agree with never complaining about towels or socks on the floor. It just doesn’t look good and I hate to see a mess. Picking up after him like a child only encourages him to do it more often and if he knows it is something that you hate, he could also compromise by trying to remember to put them away,
To add to your list though, I would put “Compliments”. Giving compliments shows that you appreciate the other person and what he/she does and so even at times if your bad mood gets the best of you, the other person can see that something is definitely off and so they would be more understanding.
Hi there, good points! I guess the socks and towels on the floor is debatable! 😉
I agree with words from wellie. It may be a little thing, but it’s an easy to fix thing. No one is ever going to feel that part of their essence or personality has been stolen because they have taken a nano-second, in respect for their living companions, to not leave crap on the floor. I think the compromise on that one needs to be on the slobby one’s side.
I like the rest of them though.
Compromise is definitely King. Great post!
Thanks!
Hey! I nominated you for The Kreativ Blogger Award. I love all your posts and find all your advice to be very helpful!