Skip to content

Simply Solo Spotlight: Just Like My Favorite Pair of Panties

September 13, 2011

Today’s Simply Solo Spotlight is written by S.D. McKenzie, a certified relationship coach and founder of WhatTheLove™ relationship and singles life coaching, as well as the director of marketing for newly launched dating site,

I think that today’s guest post is a hoot – the metaphor is very fitting and I know that many of us have been in this situation before. Maybe this post will be an eye opener for some of you out there.

Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Contact me at:

Just Like My Favorite Pair of Panties


Just say the word in a crowd and you’ll get a chorus of responses, both positive and negative about their experiences, their expertise, and, from some, even information about their “ex.” However, despite our buffet of feelings about them, one thing is true.

Relationships aren’t going away.

But enough with the empty rhetoric, let’s get to the reason that you’re really reading this. You want to know about your favorite pair of panties and why in the world that has anything to do with relationships.

Ok … here we go …

One of the reasons that some people see relationships as a bad thing is because, despite their red flags, warnings and intuition, you chose to stay with someone who didn’t meet your expectations. For whatever reason, you felt it necessary to allow some of the most non-deserving individuals access to your heart.

We’ve all been there … some of us have even been there more than once.


Well, without writing another article, the answer is simple. You thought that, in the end, it would all work out, and when it didn’t, you launched your “relationships suck” campaign, making a solemn vow to tell anyone and everyone who would listen. Or—and I am not sure if this is better—you suffer in silence. (You don’t have to admit to either, just give me an obligatory, yet virtual, head nod).

So … back to the panties.

underwear, panties, women's underwear

Photo courtesy of SWANclothing

Any girl knows that there’s nothing like a new pair of panties. The ones that you didn’t intend to buy are the best, because they caught you off guard, but they were just something that you had to have. These new panties are the right color (and for me, also include a matching bra), fit you well and hold you in the places that you need to be held. They don’t really ask you for anything, except perhaps a good washing (duh) and a low-heat dryer setting (or air-dry) to return them to their pre-purchase state. Beyond that, you and your panties have a great relationship, and all is well.

Until that darn elastic snaps …

No problem … nothing a little stitch or safety pin (cut the girl some slack, she’s in a hurry), can’t fix, so it doesn’t seem like a big deal. You can still wear and you can still love your favorite pair of panties.

But now there’s a little hole in the back.

When the (BLEEP) did that get there? Somehow between washes and dries, your favorite pair of panties has a huge flaw. But, that’s not a big deal either … because (duh, again) you love these panties … you can’t imagine life without these panties. There’s nothing else wrong with these panties, but this little hole … wait! Isn’t the elastic doing something wonky, too? No biggie … it doesn’t matter, you can fix it.

You don’t have to get rid of your panties … in fact, our attempts to find similar panties, just in case these panties weren’t all that you hoped they would be, haven’t worked out, so you know, in the depths of your unmated soul, that you are destined to be with these panties …

… forever.

Of course you are!

These are your panties … and not just any panties, your favorite panties, and you will do whatever it takes to keep them with you because they are familiar to you, and you’ve grown accustomed to having them around.

Bleach stain and all.


Now you’re screaming!

It’s a bleach stain … that doesn’t come out, you can’t fix it, and before you run to the nearest convenience store and purchase a bottle of fabric dye as your last die-hard effort to preserve the bond between you and your underwear … let me stop you.

Just let it go.

It’s over.

But just like you hold on to these panties, you also hold on to relationships that aren’t working. The things that held it together snapped, the communication between the two of you developed holes and finally, something happened that couldn’t be undone.

Again, just let it go.

It’s okay to let it go!

It’s okay to decide that you actually need, want and deserve something better. But even after you’ve come to that conclusion, too many of you (and by you I mean “us”), you do everything you can to keep what you want, despite the fact that it’s not holding you the way it used to, staying together like it should, or remaining stain-free and you have no clue why.

… just like your favorite pair of panties.

Are you still holding on to some “old panties” or did you let them go and start anew?


Copyright 2011. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.

19 Comments leave one →
  1. Stacia permalink
    September 13, 2011 8:35 am

    Just what I needed today. Thanks!! 🙂

  2. 2NewBeginnings permalink
    September 13, 2011 9:05 am

    Wow, this is probably one of the best pieces I have read in a while on relationships. What a great concept and yet so funny! I am proud to say that I let go of those old panties last year, bought me a new pair and boy does that new pair fit just right! :-))) Thanks for sharing this!!!

    • September 14, 2011 12:28 pm

      Well thanks! That’s so sweet of you to say. I am glad to hear that you’ve gotten yourelf a fresh pair of panties…I think that’s awesome!

  3. Farrah permalink
    September 13, 2011 11:13 am

    Perfect! I have done this. All of this. My last “panties” weren’t right for a long time, but I just liked “them” so damn much. And I had invested so much time with “them”. I held on, and tried to make “them” feel right again, but it just wouldn’t work. No amount of stitching or safety pins were going to hold me and those “panties” together. Then, my beloved “panties” ended up on another woman. Time to toss the “panties”, cause that’s just unacceptable and gross. Then the “panties” called and texted, they missed me, they wanted to be my “panties” again. All while in another girls “panty drawer.” Lying, cheating “panties” are the worst. Now I’m on the look out for a perfect for me pair of nice reliable “panties”. The kind that are comfortable but cute, you can wear with everything, and are always in my underwear drawer. Anybody know where a girl can get her hands on those kind of “panties”?

    • September 14, 2011 12:34 pm

      You killed it (in a good way) with this comment. Awesome! For the record, those nice, reliable panties do exist, and now that you have expectations, you’re buying process will probably change, as will where you shop. Truth is the nice panties are always in demand, but exist in such limited quantities, that they’re more than likely to be seen at a LaPerla-esque type of environment, versus the neighborhood WallyWorld. But, in the end, you keep shopping until you get EXACTLY what you want and, furthermore, what you deserve.

      If I can help you in any way, let me know… 😉

  4. Jes permalink
    September 13, 2011 11:23 am

    I do really love this! It’s hilarious and really makes you think..
    Just last night my friend and i were just talking about this whole concept of continuing to try and make relationships work, even when you know they are falling apart at the seams… And I do have to say that sometimes we try so hard in the end and let it get to such a bad state just so that we can say that when it’s done: IT’s donE.. And that there will be no regrets or “what ifs” afterward… LIke with the panties, if it wasn’t for the bleach stain, maybe you would have vowed to never wear them again, but put them in the very very back of your underwear drawer….. One day (probably laundry day..) you are going to want to wear them again, you are going to remember how cute they used to be and how much you loved them, and you are going to make excuses to put them back on… ya know?? I feel like Sometimes it takes a giant, heartbreaking, bleach stain so that we can have the strength to just throw them away, and never have to think that there was any possibility of making it work…

    • September 14, 2011 12:46 pm

      It does seem that it takes that bleach stain for us to let go. Despite everything else that is wrong, we can push through it until something HUGE happens and forces our hand.

      The worst part is, that now we’ll be more guarded and perhaps even more jaded about relationships, but if we would’ve just taken the first sign we saw as the only sign we needed, we could’ve been free with just a little snapped elastic, so to speak.

      So glad that you liked the post! 🙂

  5. September 13, 2011 1:43 pm

    Really enjoyed this piece, thanks so much for your guest post on Simply Solo!

    My favorite part was: “But just like you hold on to these panties, you also hold on to relationships that aren’t working. The things that held it together snapped, the communication between the two of you developed holes and finally, something happened that couldn’t be undone.

    Again, just let it go.

    It’s okay to let it go!”

    So many of us just need to be told that it’s okay to end something that isn’t working. It doesn’t make you a failure. It just means you knew when to stop and let go. I wish there were someone in each of our lives that would just remind us of that every once in a while 🙂

    • September 14, 2011 12:53 pm

      You are absolutely right Catherine! And, thanks so much for the opportunity to share my crazy thoughts on love, dating and relationships.

      You rock 😉

  6. September 13, 2011 7:07 pm

    Substitute a favorite comfy but threadbare flannel shirt for panties and then we’ll be on the same page.

    • September 14, 2011 12:54 pm

      Consider it done! I did struggle with using panties or undies, but I’m glad that even with the panties reference, you “menfolk” can still grasp the concept.!


  7. September 14, 2011 12:38 am

    This is a humourous reminder that not only can I not find a good relationship, I also can’t find good panties anywhere. Why is nothing in life simple?

    • September 14, 2011 12:55 pm

      Sure you can–both, in fact–it just takes a little time. I promise!


  8. September 14, 2011 12:19 pm

    woohoo I love this post!!! I love this writer too!!! She is the I’m throwing out all my panties like this and anyone in my life that doesn’t deserve to be!!! Thanks hun !!! BTW I have used this coach and she is the best!!!!! I am the best I have ever been in my life thanks to her inspiration !!!!

    • September 15, 2011 12:07 am

      Thanks for your kind words. This post was a lot of fun to write…thanks again to SimplySolo for the opportunity to shine. 🙂

  9. September 20, 2011 9:08 am

    A great comparison (I think both genders can definitely be guilty of this, I’m going to say, underwear connection). Also reminds me of the Liz Phair song ‘My Favorite Underwear’.

  10. September 20, 2011 9:32 am

    This post came on a day I went and purchased new panties. I think I, and almost everyone here, can relate to this so well. This so appropriately describes my previous relationship. Thank you for making sense of it in a way that we all can grasp.


  1. Simply Solo Spotlight: Just Like My Favorite Pair of Panties (via Simply Solo: Single girl starting over – follow the journey)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: