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Simply Solo Spotlight: When a Door Closing Brings Unexpected Joy

January 17, 2012

Today’s guest post is written by Amy of Adventures in Babysitting…Men. I love Amy’s blog – she’s beautifully honest about her search for love and her writing is very engaging. I’m really excited to have her as our Simply Solo Spotlight.

Quick shameless plug: Do you have a story to tell? Advice to offer? Did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it? I’d love to have you as the next Simply Solo Spotlight! Contact me at: simplysoloblog@gmail.com.

When a Door Closing Brings Unexpected Joy

It’s a new year. A time when everyone seems to be reflecting on the past year and making resolutions for the new one. Well, I’m not going to do that here. I am going to visit the past, but a not-so-recent past. A past from more than eight years ago. This is going to be a sorta throwback to my younger, more carefree days.

Earlier today, I saw the phrase “one door closes and another one opens.” I don’t know exactly why, but it made me remember a trip to London in September 2003 with my friend, Amy. We were two single Amy’s letting loose in London for a little holiday.

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Nearly a year prior, after drinking copiously with Amy and another friend back home in New York City, I met a very good-looking, charming British man at the Peninsula Hotel bar. We spent a few hours together that night that ended up back at his hotel (I know, scandalous!). I found out that my cute Brit was an ex-MI 5 agent. Oh my gawd – my own James Bond! In fact, let’s call him that for this story. We only had this one drunken night together, but always tried to keep in touch. Or rather, I tried to keep in touch. I would periodically email him and he’d tell me “he might be in New York for business in a few months.” Nothing ever really materialized, though.

Now let’s go back to the London trip. Like I said, I tried to maintain contact with Bond and when the trip was booked, I shot him an email telling him that I would be in London and we should get together. He responded that he’d love to, which only fueled dreams of walking along the River Thames hand-in-hand with my handsome spy and living happily ever after in Kensington Palace. Hey, if I’m going to dream, I might as well dream BIG.

Well, like any of my great fantasies, this was to just remain that. A mere fantasy. It happened that Bond was in Washington, D.C. on business and Hurricane Jeanne would keep him from flying back to London to see moi. A door closes.

After receiving the disappointing text message that he would not be able to fly home, I asked him for suggestions on where Amy and I should go out. He mentioned SoHo and the two of us were off on our own adventure, sans Bond. One lovely dinner and a few ales at a pub later, we were beat as we had only arrived that morning on the red-eye from NY.

When the pub closed, we opted to return to our hotel and hopped on the green line of the Underground. We found seats and noticed that there were three young men sitting across from us. They were deeply engrossed in reading and commenting on the Dear Deirdre column of a local paper. Like a Dear Abby, but the snarky British version. Of course, we needed to eavesdrop on these cute boys and laugh at the appropriate times. Our sideways participation in their conversation earned their attention and we struck up a conversation. A door opens.

With just a little convincing, they persuaded us to join them to go to some dance club. We had a great time and possibly a little, okay a lot, of kissing may have taken place.

Hollywood kiss, London kiss, romantic kiss

A Hollywood style kiss in London. Source: My Camera

Amy hit it off with the cute Irish boy. I hit it off with the cute, but younger, Brit, whom I’ll call by his nickname, Millsie. The other boy, a Scot, was sadly the odd man out, but a great sport and lots of fun nevertheless. At the end of the night, I exchanged contact information with Millsie and we swore we’d keep in touch (he was heading out of town for a long weekend and would not get back until after Amy and I left).

Much to my surprise, Millsie and I kept in touch. Every day. We talked, emailed, instant messaged, even video chatted (before Skype). We had a great long-distance pseudo-relationship that lasted for about 10 months with me visiting him in London and him visiting me in New York and chatting every day in between. Ultimately, the distance was too much. We ended things and after a few months of silence, resumed talking and began a friendship, albeit a flirty friendship. He moved to Australia, and in late 2005 on my three week tour of the country, I was able to hang out with him briefly in Sydney and Melbourne. But he had a new girlfriend and that marked the end of our friendship.

I don’t often think about that relationship, after all, it was a long time ago. But certain things will remind me of it and make me smile, like the phase “one door closes and another door opens.” If Bond hadn’t been stuck in D.C., I probably would have never met Millsie and a two-year friendship/relationship would have never occurred. I wish I could have still maintained a friendship with Millsie, but understand the awkwardness as he moved forward with his new romantic relationship. He had to close the door on ours to open the door to the new one. I harbor no ill feelings toward him closing our door, and I’ve luckily had many doors open and close and open again in the years since.

Life is a continuous cycle of doors opening and shutting, chapters starting and ending, opportunities taken and missed. We need to remember that if a door shuts, if a chapter ends, if an opportunity is missed, not to get too sad and discouraged…for there is another one waiting around the corner.

What door closing for you or opportunity missed led to something big and/or better?

Copyright 2012. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.


13 Comments leave one →
  1. January 17, 2012 10:30 am

    When one relationship doesn’t work out, it’s hard to see past that door closing. But you did!

    • January 17, 2012 11:02 am

      It’s definitely difficult (I’m going through it now with another ended relationship), but luckily in this instance, the ‘relationship’ that didn’t work out wasn’t really a proper relationship – I couldn’t trust ‘Bond’ as far as I could throw him and that’s a blog post on its own 🙂 – so getting past it/him wasn’t so hard. It also played in my favor that Millsie was such a sweetheart and so darn adorable!

      Thanks for your comment!

  2. January 17, 2012 11:16 am

    Where’s my opening door? I’m stuck in a corridor!!

    Great post, sometimes bad (or seemingly bad) things can have good consequences.

    • January 17, 2012 2:16 pm

      I feel your pain…right now I, too, feel like I’m stuck in a corridor…but with doors that are not only closed, but dead-bolted locked and barricaded from the inside 😦

      But keep your chin up and the doors will open! The optimist in me (that goes in hiding now and again) is trying to remain present and I am only going to wish good things and open doors for you!

      • January 17, 2012 3:37 pm

        I feel just like that and my optimist is hiding right now too. We’ll both have open doors and good things soon I’m sure.

        • January 18, 2012 8:36 am

          I love that blog 🙂 In my case, I don’t want any doors to open just yet. There are times when the door needs to remain bolted, locked down

  3. January 18, 2012 8:57 am

    Great post, Amy! Way to find the positive in a frustrating situation. And a cool friendship began! Here’s hoping that positive outlook will carry into 2012 for you – hoping wonderful things are in store. 🙂

    • January 18, 2012 9:45 am

      Thank you! It’s one of the few moments in my life when a good result was the outcome of something ‘bad’. Hoping the same to you, my friend, in 2012!!! xoxo

  4. January 18, 2012 9:43 am

    @nubianprincess25: You are so right. Sometimes it’s a great thing to leave doors closed (for a little while) so we can look into ourselves and figure out exactly what is going on in our own heads/hearts without the distractions of open doors. But please don’t let the doors remain locked for too long or you’ll simply miss out on life and the world and people out there 🙂

  5. January 19, 2012 12:07 am

    Great blog! There are times when the door needs to remain closed rather than keeping it open.

  6. January 20, 2012 11:40 pm

    My thought is that we need to close the door, walk down that corridor (AWildDog) for however long it takes and check out whats behind a few doors along the way.

    Better not to move from one mate to the next. We need time to integrate our experience, even grieve between relationships.

  7. Trish permalink
    January 23, 2012 9:59 pm

    Yeah, the problem is that some women have their foot stuck in one door while holding another door open. Say a blessing and move on people.

  8. January 25, 2012 1:05 pm

    Great post! I have also always believed in the doors closing/opening philosophy. A few years back I had two of my past loves – both men that at one time I thought I would spend the rest of my life with – re-enter my life within the same month and basically propose to me (minus the fancy jewelry of course). I declined both of them… and two months later I started dating the guy who would eventually become my husband. To this day I believe that if I hadn’t been able to firmly close those doors – which had both been left wedged open despite breakups and distance – when I did, I might’ve walked right past the door my now-husband was waiting behind. Sometimes timing is everything.

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