Love Your Life
Today, I celebrate a big milestone.
Two years of my getting free therapy from this blog.
I hope your bills aren’t in the mail.
In two years, so much has changed. When I first went through my breakup, I experienced a sadness more intense than I ever imagined possible. I sobbed, I mean really sobbed, for hours, days, weeks. To distract myself and get some emotions out, I started writing. Then I started dating – and writing about dating. Somewhere along the lines, I started healing. In the past two years, I have found so many good friends, heard so many inspiring stories, gotten so much great advice, and been touched by so many people, simply because of this blog. Even more than that, I have so much more joy in my life now.
The same week that I celebrate my two year anniversary of my blog, I learned that my ex fiancé is now officially married. At first, it hurt. I could feel a few hot tears well up in my eyes. Then I went to dinner and movies with my friends, and tried not to focus on it. By bedtime, I was joking about it. And now I mostly feel nothing about it. It’s a little weird. Must be what progress feels like.
With my sister’s baby quickly approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot about the life I want to give my children and the future I want to have. I look back at my relationship with my ex fiancé and I’m astounded. I know so much more of what I want out of life and love now. Looking back, I realize I was ignoring things that should have been non-negotiables. My ex fiancé and I had different views on so many things, including some topics that were very important to me. Now I ask myself, how did I almost marry someone who doesn’t share my core values? Why was I OK with raising children with a man who wanted to teach our children morals that I fundamentally disagreed with?
It’s funny how these things become so clear once it’s over.
Do you ever have moments of suddenly loving your life? I get so caught up in work, and the task list of the millions of things that I have to do, that sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the motions. Then, there are these little moments. Time stops and I suddenly realize: I love my life. I am so lucky. All that petty BS that was bothering me disappears, at least for a moment. Chef and I hug after an incredibly fun white water rafting trip. I see my sister try on a polka dot maternity dress (there is nothing like a pregnant woman in polka dots!). Something really good happens at work. I turn on the TV right as my favorite Friends episode starts. I finally buy that bow necklace I’ve wanted for years. I laugh really hard with my friends. I watch my nephews go tubing for the first time. I walk around my newly cleaned apartment. My mom hugs me and tells me she’s proud of me.
I have over-agonized about so many issues on this blog in the last two years, but I somehow neglected to mention something:
I really love my life.
I don’t know if I would have said that two years ago.
Thanks so much for a great two years.
Now it’s your turn to share: Tell me a moment you suddenly realized you loved your life.
Will you commit to try to appreciate these moments more often?
Copyright 2012. Simply Solo blog by Catherine Gryp. All Rights Reserved.