Crazy Stuff We Do During Breakups
Are you bananas after a breakup? Photo courtesy of Fernando Stankuns
Okay, so we’ve established I’m a little crazy. Not Sperm Hunter or Snapped crazy (which is the Simply Solo standard for truly crazy), but slightly crazy. But aren’t we all? And what brings out the crazy in you like a breakup? Or an unhealthy relationship?
The other day I was talking with my dental hygienist, and she was telling me about how she and her husband are recently separated. She told me that when they were having problems, he would go away for long time periods and refuse to tell her where he was going. And then she had the crazy thought: she could hide in the bed of his truck and see where he was going.
Crazytown. Luckily, she realized it was a bad idea and didn’t follow through.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not judging. I’m in a glass house here. When considering writing this post, I started recounting all the crazy stuff to which I’ve admitted on this blog. Over the past 10 months, I’ve revealed a lot. Perhaps, I’m being a little too honest on here. Maybe I should keep some of this crazy to myself. Like the time I drove by my ex fiancé’s house, or the time I stole a shirt from him right before I moved out and I currently keep it in my closet, or all about my baggage/trust issues where I want to check up on my partner by checking his phone for suspicious messages. There’s plenty more I have yet to reveal, like how when my ex and I broke up, I found out about some lies he told me and then I proceeded to go through every bank account, every email, every phone record, every little slip of paper I could find in our home, to try to find out the entire truth. I wanted to know everything there was to know. So yeah, I’ve done some crazy stuff.
I was talking with some friends about crazy stuff they did after a breakup, and heard some great stories. It seems that almost everyone has at least one incident in their past of which they’re not proud. One friend ended up sleeping with more than 20 people after her ex, including a few of his very close friends. Another friend continued to check his voice mail (she had the password – and he didn’t know it) for months and months after the break up, and took the liberty of deleting any voice mails from other girls. One friend broke into her ex’s house, and went through his new girlfriend’s things (and came close to stealing or breaking some of her stuff!). Other friends lashed out by getting various piercings and tattoos immediately after their breakups. And, others are a lot more tame, and just dramatically changed their hair by dying it or chopping it all off. And let’s just be honest here, we’re all guilty of Facebook stalking a time or two!
On some level or another, we all have some crazy s*it. Now that I’ve put all mine out there, I ask you: What crazy sh*t have you done related to breakups or unhealthy relationships? Don’t leave me hanging out here alone now! And you know, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem!
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Ha ha…thank you for making me feel better. Sadly though I do not have any crazy stories to cop to at this moment but I will try remember some and let you know. Must say though reading the above I admire some of the stunts and kinda wish I wouldve thought of them. Will keep u posted if I think of anything:)
Noobie,
No problem!! Thank you for your comment. Definitely come back if you can remember any 🙂 I too, admire some of these stunts. Not sure I’m creative enough to be truly crazy! haha!
Great post!! And I am happy to hear that I am not the only “crazy” girl. I’ve stalked an ex’s email, during and after the relationship, and deleted any emails I didn’t like from other girls. I think what got me hooked on checking his emails was when we were on a break I went into his email and found half nude photos of him to a girl and nude photo’s of a girl to him. So yeah, I think I had reason to check 😉
Why do relationships bring out the crazy in us?!?!?!
Thanks Amanalynn,
I love the deleting of messages from other girls. I have never done that, but there has to be a certain feeling of power with that!! Like “Haha, cute girl from your work wrote you – DELETE bitch!!” haha. Maybe I’m crazier than you. 🙂
What’s interesting about all of this is something you mentioned – “I think I had reason to check.” Most of these stories are women who checked up on their men, and found something. So while they were crazy… can we argue that they are just following their intuition in the only way they know how?
Catherine, I would never label you as crazy. You’re simply voicing universal experience. Now, if you ever start sleeping outside a guys house for days on end just to see what he’s up to, that when you know you’ve crossed a line. 😉
36×37,
LOL… Don’t worry, I like the comfort of home and a warm shower too much to be that dedicated of a stalker. Same reason I can’t go camping for more than one night. Haha. Thanks for your vote of confidence 🙂
mmmm…. I am also glad that I am not the only one that has done a couple of crazy things after a breakup… I have to admit that I have checked my ex emails and I also have to amit that I also looked at his facebook (as I know the password to both). I also have to admit that I have checked his phone as he was starting to go out every single saturday till 5am to a local bar but I knew that the local bar closed at 3am so I had my doughts to where he was doing (that was around the time we were starting to have problems). Great post Catherine!!
Thanks, Emilie! Glad to know I’m not alone here either :). Thanks for your “crazy” confessions!!
I admit to checking through her mobile phone bill. This was during the break up. Lots of other crap is burried in my blogs.
Lost in France,
Thanks for the confession 🙂 I did that a few times myself. It’s agonizing to go through those calls… especially when there are a lot of #s you don’t recognize. When my ex changed his passwords after we broke up, I felt such a sense of relief. Best feeling ever to be freed of that opportunity.
Love this. I’m guilty of the Facebook checking, and yes, the drive-by (luckily he was not there – OH WHERE WAS HE??!? LOL).
When I found out he and his new girlfriend got a puppy after one month of dating, I flipped! I told my friends that “I went Amanda”. Amanda is a mutual friends who has gone off the deep end more than once.
Fortunately for me, it’s a private, composed crazy. I don’t know why it’s a universal reaction, except to say that breakups themselves are disorienting. It’s good to get the crazy out before the introducing it to a potential suitor.
KD, OH WHERE WAS HE!??? That’s the worst part about the drive by. It’s almost worse when he’s not there – because if he’s not home, where the hell is he!! hahaha
That’s funny about “I went Amanda.” At work, this girl once went completely off the deep end, and we said her wheels fell off, and she “went Britney” a la Britney Spears 🙂 By the way, I’d be pissed too if my ex got a dog with some other girl. What the hell are we going to do when our exes…gasp… get married or something? Yuck. Can’t even think about it.
Umm, what on God’s green earth is Sperm Hunter? Please tell me you made this up, Catherine!
Crazy stuff I did in breakups/unhealthy relationships…well, honestly, I don’t have any to put here. 😦 I’ve only had a hand full of relationships anyway, and most of them petered out because I was focused on something more important–college, writing–or something. I did do a little facebook recon, I’ve written a few angry poems, and I seriously considered dating an ex’s best friend and roommate (best friend since 1st grade, mind you), but nothing has come of any of it. 🙂 I’m knocking on wood though; you just never know!
Lol 2blu2btru, Sperm Hunter is this: https://simplysolo.wordpress.com/2010/08/25/sperm-hunter/ Basically this woman was so desperate to get pregnant that she would go out and have unprotected sex with men, or if they insisted on using a condom, she would supply one of hers – that had a hole in it! She’s certifiably CRAZYTOWN!
It’s OK that you haven’t done anything too crazy. You’ve at least flirted with the idea with your Facebook “recon” (lol!! love that!) and the poems :). But do keep me updated if you ever do anything a little crazier! 🙂 Maybe you just don’t have it in you – which isn’t a terrible thing!
When I was 16 my first boyfriend broke up with me (with out really telling me). I found out about it because I heard from a mutual friend that he had a new girlfriend. So, my first step was to call him to ask about it. But he wasn’t home. His mom said he was at work. I waited a while, but then I called him at work. He wasn’t at work. So, I figured he must be at her house. So I looked her number up in a phone book and I called her house and asked for him.
We spoke briefly. I basically said I needed to talk to him pretty urgently and asked if he would call me when he got home.
After getting off the phone with him I proceeded to pack up everything he ever gave me in a box and planned to give it back to him the next day at school. But by 11 p.m. (I think, I don’t know for sure how late it was) when he hadn’t called me I stole my parent’s car (I didn’t have a driver’s license BTW), drove to his house to leave the things there for him to find, along with a note full of all the things I wanted to say to him.
Of course I hadn’t written the note yet, so I decided to write it while I was sitting in the family Dodge Caravan in his driveway. But, I also couldn’t decide what to write so I really just sat there staring at the paper (and crying intermittently) until he came home around midnight.
After that there was a pretty major discussion that happened in his living room and he wound up with all of the things I gave back to him. (Including the Black Hills Gold ring he gave me on our second date.) At some point he gave most of that stuff back to me, and my mom has the ring now.
Yeah, I get carried away sometimes. But, then again, that was 15 years ago.
Crystal,
This story is hilarious – thank you for sharing! I think it’s friggin awesome that you stole your parent’s car. Do they know you did this? It’s pretty extreme… but I kind of envy you. I’d never have the guts for something like that!! And, you totally get a pass. Anything before the of 18 is just being a “kid.” 🙂
My parent’s haveno idea. And it was my first love and my first major heartbreak — I think people get a pass for those too. 😉
Agreed! Total pass. I think it’s pretty funny myself. You can say that, in your lifetime, you stole a car! haha
I dropped some friends after the first relationship I had ended. I found out they helped him get his new g/f all the while being my shoulder to cry on etc and siding with me about what an asshole he was etc.. … mean while they were against me.
For crazy… I haven’t done anything nutty but I did lose my verbal cool. And chewed an ex a new ass in public. And it wasn’t just the screaming, the lodgic that came out of my mouth. If someone had behaved that way towards me, I would have called the police.
I call a new g/f once and tell her I was still sleeping with the b/f. 🙂 I’ve deleted phone numbers from phones, emails, (while still together) of women I did not know.
Publicly scorning men seems to be my favorite though. Never approach an hurt, upset, decieved women in public and ask to talk…. we’ll talk alright, enough to give passerby’s a show. 😉
That’s probably as bad as I’ve been.
Just Saying,
I think that those friends totally deserved to be dropped! Or for you to get mad at them at least! That’s crappy for them to do that.
I love that pubicly scorning is your poison of choice. I don’t think I’ve ever done that, but if I were made enough and were out in public, I’d totally be capable of it! I just don’t think my ex and I went out in public much after the breakup – maybe this is what he was afraid of 🙂
My partner of 3years went on holiday to pakistan and got an arranged marriage. And just completely cut me off. Didn’t even tell me. After I found out he was all tears and bla bla. But obviously he made his choice. So he chose to hurt me to keep the family happy. Anyways as you can imagine I was pretty messed up because of this and that’s when something flipped. I had his mobile phone cut off and all calls forwarded to me. My friend set me a facebook account up in his name as he didn’t have one. And I named and shamed him by adding all of his friends family and anyone from his area. It still hurts like hell. But I can’t say that I haven’t laughed at some of the things iv done. I know in time to come I will be thinking. Omg what on earth but he left me with no choice I trusted him with my heart he trusted me with his photos. I think he still does not believe
I’d do womething like this. Because I am a very private and quiet person . But I could not just hide all this for him. It was either facebook. Or life sized posters. This way is easier and cheaper for me. Lol I’d say this is pretty the craziest or crazy in his words I’m a stalker but if so then so be it. This is what he has created. So he has only himself to blame. Just as I do.
The bed of the truck thing is a little wackadoo, but then again, we all act out a little when relationships are ending in a way we are unhappy with. I definitely did the creepy car thing, driving past an ex’s work and house. I remember thinking the entire time that I had lost my mind, but that didn’t outweigh the desire to keep tabs.
Tori,
The good thing is she didn’t actually do it – she just thought of it. I think the fact that the bed of the truck thing went through her head, she knew she had a problem! The drive by is something that I think almost all people have done/will do in their lives. In some way, shape or form. And it’s funny what you say – because any time I’ve done it, I knew it was wrong (like eating ice cream on a diet, I know better!), but I just can’t stop myself. At least these moments are only temporary!
I “caught” my ex making phone calls (found them while paying our joint cell phone bill; we were still married at the time). After that, trust was out the window. I would check his phone, tried to get into his laptop, and I would even drive by his work, and eventually her home after a while. Thing was – I kept finding stuff. Not totally incriminating – but not totally innocent, either.
I think we stalk because we’re looking for some sort of control or validation or even comfort. I learned the hard way that isn’t the case. All we find is half-truths and more questions and no real answers.
After that – I’m not so crazy anymore. During a more recent breakup, I did none of it – wasn’t even tempted. So, I think we eventually learn, but I think we have to learn the hard way.
Sue,
I couldn’t agree more. All the stalking-type behavior I did only made things worse. I found more and more things that upset me. It seems to me that if you have the need to stalk, you are already in an unhealthy relationship that you need to get out of. I’m glad that in your most recent breakup you had learned your lessons… I’m hoping the same will be true for me. I don’t want to be that driven, obsessed person ever again.
Funny topic! I did send the Colossal Douche Bag’s pregnant wife a onesie that said “I love my Auntie Amy”. I sent it in an unmarked, anonymous envelope with a card wishing her the best of luck with the new marriage and baby. I can only imagine the look on his face when she asked him, “Honey, who’s Amy??”
Not a proud moment as that is certifiable crazy, but funny as all hell.
ifUseekAmy,
OMG —- too funny. I would never think of doing anything like that – hilarious! It almost makes being crazy worth it, when you can have funny stories like that!
I totally understand about stealing your ex’s shirt and keeping it in your closet. I myself totally stole my ex’s, um, head and keep it in my freezer downstairs….
Ha. Dennis stole my comment…great (or is it deranged?) minds think alike!
You men…. can’t admit anything truly crazy… leave us women out here to dry! I KNOW you must have something to admit!! 🙂
Funny comment though, Dennis and Mark!
I’m racking my brain trying to remember anything noteworthy other than quietly compiling fall my facts about the new “interest” of the STBX… but that’s somewhat tame. Losing my patience within a sentence or two and flipping out once or twice, but regaining composure quickly afterwards.
I think I ate cookies in an ex’s bed…very messily, to attract ants…but now that just seems childish. Ants WERE all over the place… does that count?
…Damn, I’m too nice.
Haha, Columbus. If that’s the craziest you’ve got – well, you are not crazy at all. I do like your ant revenge. But next time think bigger. Spread sugar all over the house to attract the ants 🙂
Funny, Dennis. I’m going to believe your joking is really hiding your crazy underneath…. this is a safe place, Dennis. You can come clean. 🙂 hehehe
Just read a book called Breakup 2.0 that was all about the way people break up on fb/social networking sites. It resulted in a lot of crazy stuf… like one guy not even telling the girl he was breaking up with her, until he ended the relationship on facebook! How horrible is that?
Ah, love.
Wink’d
http://www.winkd.me
Wink’d,
That would be awful!! You think things are going great, and suddenly he’s single on FB. I bet this happens all the time! Breakups should always be in person, or on the phone (at the very least), I think. Which is worse, you think, break up via FB or break up on a post it note (a la Sex and the City)? 🙂
So this one is not my experience but I know of someone who thought his girlfriend may have been cheating so he bugged her car, followed her, and from a safe distance listened to her conversations she had while she was in the car. Guys have their level of crazy too!! Not a bad idea though, I would kinda of like to know where to get that spyware, lol!!
Wow, Mysterious Neighbor. Bugging someone’s car is some seriously crazy stuff! Wouldn’t you be pissed if you found out about that? For some reason, that feels like more of a invasion of someone’s privacy that just checking emails or FB messages. But, maybe they are all the same. It’s so funny how we can get sucked into this behavior!
It’s good to know that it happens to us all! I’m not crazy in day to day life… but I’ve done some crazy breakup sh*t too… turned up at his flat at all hours, drunk, screaming and crying. Calling him 100 times, and texting 100 more, even if he doesnt reply. Getting crazy tattoos and peircings, sleeping with too many men (also, like your friend, some of them close friends of his) just to hit back. And drinking. Drinking all the time!
I know none of it was healthy, but it only lasted a few months, and once it’s done, it’s like he’s totally out of my system and I was able to move on. And since then I’ve managed to keep the crazy under control!!!! x
Joeandharryabroad,
Ahhh, the drunk, screaming and crying drive by. Many of us are guilty of this one :). The 100 calls/texts an hour? I’ve seen this in action with my friends! With one guy that we were on the outs, I remember texting him, calling him, texting him again, then calling and leaving a voicemail… all in a period of 3 hours. LOL! As I was doing it, I knew it was nuts… but sorta felt good 🙂
omg i recently did that. i did do the texting, messaging on fb and then calling him. not 100 times but i few times with in 2 hrs. i thought whoa ur getting crazy here. I’m glad I’m not the only one. i felt bad tho
Ummm…hate to say this but I don’t think I’ve really done anything absolutely crazy (sorry). The biggest thing I can think of was just simply that after I broke up with a serious live-in girlfriend, a relationship that incredibly toxic, we still lived together for the duration of the lease because I needed the rent money and she couldn’t find a better deal for monthly rent. I just became cold towards her because she would continually try and pick fights with me. It got to the point where I simply told her to shut the eff up, I don’t care and I’m no longer obligated to participate in these arguments.
I did not like being that way but she had just pushed me beyond my breaking point.
Matthew,
BOOOO!!! Hahaha jk. You are just too much of a nice, normal guy!! 🙂 Even the story you shared seems totally justified. I guess it’s a good thing that you don’t have much crazy in you… although it does make things interesting. Looking over these comments, it occurs to me that it’s mostly women admitting crazy behavior. This could be a function of me A: having mostly female readers B: mostly women are comfortable admitting their crazy (you see more stories in the news where crazy women are just slightly offputting or humorous, and crazy men are stalkers, serial killers, etc. Wonder what impact that has).
Anyway, not being to get all analytical, just interesting to me! Most women I’ve brought this topic up to can think of at least one or two incidences of acting crazy, but most of the men I know are at a loss for words.
Coming from a man who is just over losing the love of his life, love dictates that we act in ways that we might not look at as rational. Sometimes we obsess that if we love a person enough, it can cure whatever ails them. This is simply a fantasy, you see, some of us are visionaries…..we see the picture of where we want to be and make it happen. For me, I’ve gotten everything I ever wanted in life by working hard for it. I’m highly successful, I’ve owned a lot of businesses while i was really young and sold them, I’ve bought everything i wanted, and now I live in the Virgin Islands doing what any fun adventurous human would do…..so what is the problem?
I won’t settle for some kind of mediocre love… I do everything in a particular way…nothing ordinary, I believe in doing it exceptionally and living an extraordinary life… I know the capacity of love…I am hooked on the feeling of being inticed by an incredible love…..now, just to find her…. I’m willing to wait….I’m plenty young, and I don’t have a hard time getting dates, but to me it’s not physical beauty i seek…it’s that one really amazing girl who wants to give as much love as she’s given… someone who honestly knows what the word unconditional means…. So don’t discount yourself as crazy….you are simply driven, who am I to judge that? When all of us are guilty at one time or another of pushing what might be someone’s idea of too much? I want more than too much….I want every thing that makes love amazing and beautiful…. If you know one of these girls…flag me… let me know… wink..wink…
Yep that’s the one….
T.
Thomas,
Thanks so much for your comment. I’m sorry to hear about you losing the love of your life. I imagine that that’s been very hard for you. You are so right, sometimes we think that if we simply love someone enough, we can make it work. We can force them to love us back, we can make them well if they are sick, we can make an unhealthy relationship work. But love is not always enough. That’s something I learned this past year. I love your last parapraph here about not settling for mediocre love… I love the way you describe it and it’s a noble goal. I want many of these same things. I hope that we both find it 🙂
Hi Thomas, if unconditional love is what you look for in a girl. Believe me there are still a few who are searching for the same thing.
Women who still believes in forever though relationships these days last quickly. I know I’ll also find him someday. So like me, just cheer up and good luck! -jessica
haha, lucky for me, I just read this AFTER I logged into one of my best friend’s facebook accounts (she musnt know I still have her password) so that i could stalk my ex and see if he had new pictures of him and his girl. He does. Which is unfortunate because nlyow Im sulking in my self pitty about how happy they look…and how she’s in pictures with his family…and how they comment on the pictures and appear to love her…and how I have to relive that maybe the past 7 years of my life were a waste of times…and…well, the list goes on. Mind you, I just recently unfriended the lad on facebook (to avoid just that!). For a while, when he had me blocked, I would log on to my current boyfriend’s facebook to see my exes pics—I’ll spell it for you C-R-A-Z-Y!
Other things that maybe I should confess
-Logging into his Gchat and reading his chats with the girl he had cheated on me with (not his current girl) WHILE it was going on. Yes, I could see their conversation live! And yes, I was at work when I did this. And yes, he had forgotten that I had that password (hell, I had forgotten that I had that password…and I wish I hadnt remembered…although if i had remembered sooner, I would have realized he was cheating on me–for the second time!)
During the course of our unhealthy relationship, i checked everything…facebook, emails, phone…you name it (when I could))
BAD ideas…Why do we ever think they are good?
Oh, and I confess, I did color my hair..and get a new style….I was going to try to lose 20 lbs too, but that hasnt worked in my favor…suggestions?
I think the hair is one of the first things women feel compelled to change. Now on the 20 lbs… I’ve been trying to lose the same 10 lbs for years and year, so I’m not really the best person to help, haha! I just have the standard advice…diet/exercize…. booooo. But, I just gave up ice cream for Lent, and just cutting my favorite food from my diet entirely helped me lose 3 pounds. Maybe you could cut something you love too?? (However, I will admit that I’m scared I’m going to gain all 3 pounds back the minute I can eat ice cream again on Easter!!)
ACommenttoMake,
Haha, thanks so much for all your confessions. Does it feel better to get all of that off your chest? 🙂
I have a friend right now doing some similar things on Facebook – checking through a friend’s account what her ex is up to. I can imagine that the desire would be there, but once you do it, you must feel pretty awful. Although, I have to say that I’m happy that some of your crazy behavior caught him cheating — at least there was some good result from it. Here’s hoping (for you and me both) that our next relationship is healthy enough that we can forgo this crazy behavior!!
I just noted your response, haha. Congrats on cutting icecream for lent! I failed at the 20 lbs thing but I have lost 7 lbs yay! And cheers: to new relationships that are healthy! =)
CONGRATS on the 7 pounds. That’s progress!
Wow! Granted I’ve never been with anyone for longer than two years but aside from Facebook stalking and re-reading old love letters till I’m bawling my eyes out I’ve never done anything that really counts as “crazy.” I DID, however, keep a pair of boxer briefs I bought for an ex… they were really comfy for yoga and he never wore them.
Kat,
I’ve definitely done the reading old love letters/looking at pictures and bawling my eyes out… but that is what I refer to as “emotional cutting,” but not certifiably crazy behavior. As far as your boxers, close but no cigar. Now if you kept them, and they smelled like him and you sniffed them every couple of days (yuck), then you’d be crazy. Hate to tell you, but you are just not that crazy 🙂 Do keep us updated if this ever changes!
Near the beginning of our relationship when we were uncertain, I would avoid cycling by his place.
But we did “make up” by accidentally crossing each other’s paths when we were each cycling our own routes.
So I guess our journey together was meant to be….together. 🙂
Jean,
That’s so sweet. I wouldn’t take you for much crazy behavior!
Sometimes I’m the tattoo-and-piercings type of girl, sometimes I’m the spontaneously-leave-town type of girl, sometimes I’m the too-much-exercise-paired-with-too-few-calories type of girl, sometimes I’m the who’s-DTF? type of girl, sometimes I’m the how-much-alcohol-is-too-much-alcohol type of girl.
But, at the end of the day, I’ve always been a girl who goes through a lot of phases and turns out a little stronger in the end.
Beneath,
“But, at the end of the day, I’ve always been a girl who goes through a lot of phases and turns out a little stronger in the end.” So beautiful and so true. As long as you know that about yourself, you can get through anything!
“Almost everyone has at least one incident in their past of which they’re not proud.”—So true.
In my case, the craziest stuff I did was when I was trying to hold onto a guy. A guy who was bad for me anyway. Eventually it was the crazy stuff that I was doing that made me realize I shouldn’t be with him.
Thoughtsappear,
Good point – a lot of the time, the crazy stuff we do to keep someone are a good indicator that you shouldn’t be with the person in the first place. That’s why I said stuff we do during breakups or during unhealthy relationships….Sometimes we do things in relationships that could last years, but obviously they aren’t healthy in the first place if we’re acting nuts. Thanks for your comment!
I am so not proud of this, but since everyone is being so honest…I poked holes in all of his condoms.
LOL, Miz Adventures. I in no way condone this… but it is pretty funny. Very wrong. But very funny.
Umm, you win! CrystalSpins in close second…
I was 16…and it was my first break up…and we had been together for over a year…and I have a learner’s permit for F*&% sake.
Catherine,
i’ve followed you for such the long time but only recently started to comment however, i’ve developed a new blog and it’s simply time you subscribe to it… we sooo think alike in romance…and although you won’t like the name of my new blog…it will touch some hearts and change the perspective of what happens when boy meets girl
T.
http://istealkisses.wordpress.com
Wow, thanks for sharing Thomas! I will definitely check out your blog – congrats on starting it! And thanks for following my blog – I really appreciate it!
Great post! I think we have done all done some crazy stuff, and I am certainly a Facebook stalker it got so bad once that I had to delete him from my account and block him, because I couldn’t take his mushy stats about his new gf . However I also had a works account with him on my friends list and I just couldn’t stop taking a peak, But in my head it was OK because he wasn’t on my official friends list so it didn’t count *wink wink*
Happy to say I have now snapped out of my delusions….
Haha, I love that you have the self restraint to block him on one account, but then you can’t help but look on another. I hid my ex’s Facebook updates (even though he hardly makes any) and sometimes I find myself compelled to look at his page. Doesn’t make much sense – I hide him so I don’t have to see what he’s up to, but then I seek him out. I think I just prefer to have it on my terms – I don’t want to be having an amazing day and then see him come up in my feed and completely change my mood. Glad to hear you’ve snapped out of your delusions…the first step is admitting you have a problem 🙂
Okay..for all the bloggers who think I’m crazytown..I must defend my thought process..I’m Catherine’s dental hygienist btw. I had these thoughts before he moved out of house..when he would stay gone EVERY weekend and come home late Sunday night and tell me it was “None of my business” where he had been. He also was super-fishy with his Blackberry-checking it all hours of the night, taking it in bathroom with him-etc. Obviously to me this meant another female was involved.This went on for a month with him telling me he didn”t know what he wanted (whether or not to stay in marriage. As they say curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought him back. I needed definitive proof to end my marriage-so yes-hiding in his truck to find the answers did occur to me. Of course I realized that if it had come to these sorts of thoughts our marriage was essentially over anyway.. Definitely no way to live. Crazytown would have been if I had hid in bed of truck and then jumped out at right moment and beat the crap out of him and the unsuspecting chick..but alas..that is only a dreamy fantasy.
A,
I really hope you don’t mind that I wrote about you! I was kidding about the crazytown. We’ve all had crazy thoughts at some point or another, what is truly crazytown is when we actually act on them. In fact, hearing your situation, I imagine I would have had MUCH crazier thoughts – and I may have even acted on them!! 🙂 Although, your “dreamy fantasy” does sound like awesome revenge… 🙂
wow, i just googled ‘crazy stuff you do during a breakup’. so glad i found this! yet, i might be the craziest, haha? i’ll start with my ex before my most recent ex. i DID the breaking up but still got crazy! showed up at his place that we used to share drunk and crying. went up to our old room and wrote “have fun f*cking your new slut” in red lipstick on his white sheets. i knew she had been there the night before and would be back that night. and of course tons of calls and texts. “i love you, i cant live without you” then 20 mins later “no i don’t i can’t stand you and never want to see you again” and 20 more mins later “but i miss you, can i see you?”
the most recent ex is the worst! he was the biggest douche. always lying to me, trying to be single but also have me. super unhealthy. and it definitely took a toll on my mental health. i sent his naked pics around where he looked less than not very well endowed. i have drank myself to oblivion and made a fool of myself in public while he was there. i have copy & pasted emails that he sent to me about girls to those girls where he talks trash about them, trying to win me back when he was just at that girls house the night before! did i mention i did the breaking up again?
its sick i know. but each time i go through these tough times i always come out stronger. and wiser. of course i’ve also done the phone snooping, twitter stalking and facebook. thats normal… right?
i think us girls usually snap when we are treated very badly and want revenge. i’m learning that silence and staying away is the best revenge 🙂
gettingthere,
Thanks for sharing your craziness 🙂 I think we all have some of this inside of us. The thing is, it doesn’t have to be this way. We need to learn to choose more healthy relationships and try to reign in our craziness when it gets out of hand. These things you mentioned here sound priceless, and would probably help unload a lot of the anger in doing them, but I think you are completely right – silence/getting away from them is awesome revenge!
I just wanted to say how much I loved this article and I can completely relate to you “gettingthere”. I’m a stable single woman. I’ve held down a great job for the past 15 years. I’m very responsible. But God help the man that breaks my heart. I lose it for a good 2-3 weeks. I just can’t get myself together. I do the crazy texts, Facebook stalking, the whole nine yards. And I agree, it’s always worse for me when I’ve been done wrong. You don’t feel like you’ve gotten the closure you need. With one jerk I dated, we both had mutually strong feelings for each other, then Mr. Hyde came out. Then another guy, same strong mutual feelings, then BAM, he pumped me full of lies of why he had to break up with me. Then a week later, moves some woman in with him and suddenly there are all these Facebook posts of how much he loves her. You feel so wronged that crazy chick just comes out with a vengence. She can’t be stopped! lol
LOL Jennifer. Guess even normal professional women can lose their shit over a man!! 🙂 Here’s hoping you meet someone soon who doesn’t make you go crazy… or, makes you go crazy in a good way.
Omg this is happening to me RIGHT NOW! Help! I’m losing my mind. He finally blocked me! THANK GOD!
I think it’s so painful because it’s a loss of love and also the rejection…can feel like a severe blow to your self-esteem (hence the anger). Losing a love is killer and that is why we go nuts. But the best thing to do is do no contact with him and work out all your emotions on your own…with a therapist, with friends, books, etc. No matter what he has done it’s just better to practice letting go right then and there. Hard, yes, but so much better than losing your dignity and pride. By the way, I don’t judge at all…totally understand these impulses. I just learned this stuff in my 40’s but when I was younger I definitely went crazy.
Oh I love these kinds of things. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one out there possessed by some kind of crazy demon after a breakup. Luckily I didn’t do anything so crazy as to ruin my relationship with my ex; after ending our 4 year relationship almost 2 years ago, we’re able to be friends. Actually, no, he’s just a very patient and forgiving person.
I had a fling with someone he despised, and when I was very angry with him, called and left him a voicemail with a litany of all his faults and closed with the zinger “Oh yeah, I slept with “name withheld”. Then a week later I called and apologized. Except, not having listened to his voicemail, he didn’t know what I was apologizing for. I asked him to please never check his voicemail , telling him it would only hurt him and I was very, very sorry for what I had said. He agreed. Then an hour later he called back and told me he listened to it and said he expected better from me and he was hurt. A thousand apologies and penitent tears later, he forgave me. He really is a nice boy. Too bad he broke up with me!
Kit,
Wow, what a story! I totally knew where that story was going when you said you asked him not to listen and he agreed… OF COURSE HE LISTENED! 🙂 Glad he was forgiving. Not everyone would be!
Here are some things I recall doing:
1 He left his case with his cds at my place, obviously just because he would’ve left his head if it wasn’t attached to him (he’s that kind). One day one of his good friends came over to one of my parties and saw it, then asked “What do we have here? Maybe I can give this back to him when he comes to visit…” To which of course I responded to with a simple lie: “He gave them to me so I’m keeping them”.
2 Another crazy and stupid thing was attempting to get rid of my “his favorite dress for me to wear” and making him feel bad about it, so I took the “last” pictures of me in the dress and I was supposed to send them to him, but I ended up not giving up the dress, so…
3 Other than that I just sent thousands of emails daily and made desperate phone calls, nasty text messages, all the usual stuff.
Gabby,
We’ve all been there! That’s funny about the CDs. Serves him right for being so scatterbrained, lol. I’m gonna believe it’s only crazy if you actually do it – so you thought of sending him the pic, but never did. So you aren’t THAT crazy 🙂 haha. Thanks for your comment.
I must admit I have done some crazy things… probably the craziest was start a FB page of him… he was so against FB. I needed to talk to him about something and he wouldn’t take my calls. It worked. LOL.
I have kept some things from various relationships, a shirt here and there, a house key, a cassette tape (during high school)but mostly I just keep the memories (good and bad).
Oh, and I have gone through emails… obtained other girls email addresses, but couldn’t be “that” psycho so I didn’t do anything with them, but to know how easy it was to get… 🙂
agirlajeep,
I’ve never heard of someone starting a FB page for someone just to talk them. LOL! At least that’s crazy-creative 🙂
I think the craziest thing I did after a break up was when I was in high school. I found out my bf of 5 months had been cheating on me, so I made my dad drive me over to his house where I broke in through the back door because his parents weren’t home and I went to his room and started screaming at him. He just stood there with his mouth open because I usually was this nice, quiet person and here I was being loud and obnoxious. And then the next day at school I proceeded to tell all the girls I knew what a loser he was. That part sure felt good.
But now after my most current breakup, I feel awfully calm. I’m sure after a while I’ll start facebook stalking and doing other crazy things, but it just hasn’t really hit me yet.
Rachel,
Maybe you are just admist something very rarely seen in real life… a healthy breakup 🙂
I don’t think your story sounds crazy at all. Pretty justified if you ask me! I’m glad your Dad drove you, too, haha.
the craziest thing i have ever done was. . i was dating this guy for 10 months. i was 17 he was 16. i told him i thought i MIGHT be pregnant with his child, just so i could talk to him because he would just ignore me. that night his mom shows up and takes me to the hospital. not a good night since i knew i wasnt pregnant. 2nd thing i have done. . . same relationship. . . told him i felt like dying and wanted to run off the side of the road and hoped i hit a tree. . . 3rd. . i drove 45 min to his house just to give him a belt so i could talk to him. . . maybe i am crazy
Ha, Alex!
Okay, so maybe you aren’t crazy but maybe you’ve been watching too much TV. These situations are nuts! I think you need to remind yourself that you are worth love…. all by your lonesome, without all these lies/stories. If he doesn’t appreciate you for who you are, you deserve better. But everyone deserves the truth, I think. I think some of this will probably stop as you get older too – lying is just too exhausting as you age. LOL
After my boyfriend and i broke up, i made a fake facebook account and flirted with him on it, a week later he started dating the fake facbook girl, i did this so that he would still be with me but not at the same time, he didnt mind the long distance relationship thing but this way no other girl could be with him, i did this so it would be easier to get over him. (yep im crazy)
Cali Flare,
Haha, feel better to admit that? Did you ever get caught? It’s so funny starting a lie like that – what’s the long term plan?
I just recently went through a really rough break up, and a friend recommended that I check out this site. I’m apparently currently in the crazy girl stage! I can’t stop stalking his Facebook page, asking his friends about the new girl he’s with, angrily venting via Facebook status. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) I don’t have the guts to actually follow through with the super crazy things like checking his phone or stalking his apartment…definitely doesn’t stop all the thoughts, though! Thanks so much for connecting all the newly single girls and making us all feel way less lonely 🙂
Kayli,
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story! Girl – don’t work – we’ve all been there. At least you are aware. Now you can start slowing weening yourself off the craziness. One thing I’ve learned is that as much as you want to check that Facebook page every day (and you think you NEED to), once you are able to get it under control and STOP, there is such a feeling of calm and relief… I really can’t explain it. Just trust me. 🙂 Good luck!!
I’ve recently gone through a break-up that was so out of the blue my emotions were a roller coaster. I’m sure my ex thinks I’m bipolar. He had never seen this side of me and I’m pretty sure I scared him a little. First I cried when he broke up with me. Really wish I hadn’t done that. Then I proceeded to write him a very heartfelt 2-1/2 page letter about my “feelings” to which he didn’t respond. A few days later I text him a very mean “what for”. Still no response. The next day I send another mean text. Finally a response but not the one I was wanting. He was still being nice. I wanted him to fight. Does that make sense? I’ve never had a “nice” breakup. Then the next day I feel bad for being so mean and text an apology. I still get nothin’! I decided to leave it alone. Then after I’ve resolved to let it go and try to remain friends, I find out he had been cheating on me the whole time we were dating and had both agreed on an exclusive relationship. Then I facebook message him a terribly mean message. No response, shocker! Delete him from my FB and my phone. But in the process of deleting his number, I accidentally call him and pray I hung up fast enough that it didn’t show up on his phone. So, yeah, I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m a whole lot of crazy by now! lol
LOL, Jennifer! I think we’ve all been there. Um, there is nothing more annoying than non-response. Trust me, I know. I’d rather a guy be a complete jerk to me than ignore me! LOL. I think I’ve gotten pretty crazy when being ignored as well. It’s also hard to have a “nice” breakup if you haven’t ever had one. But you gotta look at it this way – he probably thought he got off free and clear. So why would he want to talk to you? Any time he talked to you would be risking you finding out the truth! Glad you deleted him from your phone and FB… helps to have less temptation. Just when you feel like you want to act crazy, try and step outside of yourself and be logical. I know it’s tough – but worth a try!
I did a drive by, after I was dumped from a twi month relationship! I even text the person that I was outside of their house! I sent a million text, I was eventually blocked, and a zillion emails. I felt like I was going insane! Half if the emails desperately asking “why” the other half completely insulting! I even did the “I’m gonna kill myself” guilt trip! How do I live this down!
Aww, Danielle. We’ve all been there at some point to varying extremes. You just gotta pick up and start over. We all make mistakes, but find ways to turn your emotions off during these times. You have to step outside the situation, and as yourself what you would tell a friend to do in the same situation? You certainly (I hope) wouldn’t tell them to email or text a zillion times. Try and take your own best advice. Thanks for sharing your story!
Ok! I needed this considering I’ve lost my ever loving mind! My boyfriend broke up with me on our anniversary back in January. This was two weeks after a lovely trip to Lake Tahoe my boss paid for… Interesting timing. He got a free trip, didn’t have to buy me an anniversary gift and somehow saved himself a trip to the store for flowers on Valentine’s Day. But ladies and gents, I did receive a text that read, “Happy Valentine’s Day.” Is that a cruel joke?
I digress…I did a great job initially. Gave him his distance, which killed me considering he was living in the house that I picked out, decorated and was holding on to 4 of our animals. But I kept my self-respect. Deleted his number, Facebook and only was guilty of the occasional drunken phone call. Maybe three over a few months time…
So! Here I am 9 months later… Wow, that’s the first time I’ve looked at that… that’s an awful long time…
9 months later and something has inspired me to start contacting him randomly. Boohooing, asking for answers to why!! I’m in a serious relationship and moving in with my new boyfriend so this is NOT OKAY! I think I went off the deep end when he told me I wasn’t allowed to see my animals anymore because his new “lady friend” didn’t approve. Writing this out is helping me understand my insanity better…
Anyway, the phone calls are embarrassing. Though I have to admit… me showing up at his house at 1:30am last night takes the cake! He wasn’t there. So I called and I called and I called… Until a girl picked up his phone and basically told me to piss off lol I’m not really laughing. I am mortified! His roommate opened the door though and I saw my dogs and cats for the first time in way too long. So I cried and I cried and I cried.
It was not my coolest moment. Or proudest.
My boyfriend would be broken hearted if he knew so I’m plagued with guilt.
Not liking this feeling.
Thanks girls for making me feel better!
Anonymous,
Wow! Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on! I totally feel you on suddenly wanting to know why. Maybe six months or a year after my breakup, I had to have a long conversation with my ex where we sort of reviewed the relationship and where we went wrong. It me helped a lot … but we did it in a healthy way. He was willing to talk to me. I got a little crazy earlier this year when he said he didn’t want to be friends or stay in touch. It really really bothered me. But sometimes, in these situations, you just have to force yourself to stop. Give yourself some distance. It’s amazing, that once you have no contact, how much easier it is to really move on. I hope that you’ll be able to move on. It sounds like you really care about your boyfriend (I hope if you are moving in with him!), and you just need to find a way to move on from all this especially if you are entering something so serious with someone else. Trust me, I’m saying this from experience. And I don’t know if I understand the situation with the animals, but is it possible you are using the animals to hold on? I had a few things in my relationship that I held onto as an excuse to see him. Once those things were gone… well, no excuses to see or call him, guess I can’t see or call him. Maybe for your own sanity you may just need to let the animals go. I know it’ll be hard…but how can you get over someone if you see them all the time?
Just some unsolicited advice. I appreciate your sharing your story because I know a lot of my readers can relate. Take care of yourself, okay? 🙂
Well I’m more like insane, I have to take depression meds I have nervous breakdowns etc.. I meet the player type guys and believe all there promises.I have keyed cars flat tires, chased them on the highway, broken windows, peeped in windows, kick there doors and ran kick his truck twice,called and texted over and over, hacked there facebook,lied and said I was pregnant, said I wanted to die in which I did. I went to there jobs begging for them to talk to me, I’ve brought them cards saying sorry when they used me, I’ve created myspace accounts saying they were whores. I believe that’s about it, I’m on depression medicine now because I just got used by a new guy. Pray for me because when a man takes me for granted I tend to go crazy if not insane. Oh and I’ve been to court for annoying text messages and believe it or not the guy still tried to sleep with me after all the things I did he was a real sex whore addict.
Wow, Diamond. That’s a lot. Thanks for sharing. Hope that you’ll be able to work through some of these issues so you can have a healthy relationship – we all deserve it. I’m hoping you’ll find another outlet for some of this behavior so that you can be all you are capable of 🙂
Well, what I did was just as insane:
I’ve created a fake account at the dating site we’ve met and chatted with him for some days trying to discover if he would admit that we’ve dated or had the friends with benefits thingy after the break up.
SURPRISE! SURPRISE!
He denied and lied to this ‘imaginary girl’ all about us, saying we were just good friends.
And to let everything worse, I (my real self) said to him that this (made up by me) girl contacted me asking a lot of things about him!
(I was the only one in his contacts on that website and had left some romantic remarks at his pictures). This way my lie would have some ‘sense’.
Dear god, I was out of my mind!
It was heartbreaking to read his messages lying about us while wanting to meet this fantasy girl so badly (I grabbed from google only photos that I knew was his exactly type of girl).
Now I think he’s suspicious ’cause he even asked me to stop texting him
– even when we agree to stay friends after the break up, because we really cared for each other -.
I’m really hurt and trying to move on but Is damn hard. We still are FB friends. So yes, I check his page multiple times and I know he’ s lonely; but it hurts anyways.
Our relationship just lasted a couple of months, but had so much intensity and romance that when it was over I was completly lost.
He showed me how I was worthy and to complete: he was my first real relationship after my ex fiancée and I broke up, that’s why I think is so hard to let it go.
Thank you so much for the beautiful and helpful blog!
Cindy
Im
Cindy,
Sorry to hear about all this. While yes, this was crazy behavior, it sounds like it gave you the answers you needed. And you deserve a guy that won’t make you feel like you have to resort to these measures to find out if you can trust him. Good luck to you – I hope you find someone great!!
i loved reading all the comments! makes me feel a little less crazy. with my first ex, i hacked his myspace and email…and i even read im’s from him and his ex gf that were going on in real time…i also made a fake myspace of his ex with the most unattractive pictures we (girlfriends) could find of her…i drove eight hours (we were long distance) to sit in the front of his house and see if he would lie to me (im positive he was there, and when i called him he text me that he was in the movies…busy…ha! im right in front of your house, asshole.) i hacked his sisters facebook and email so i could see what was really going on (not proud of this, just saying)…and my current ex…we’ve been broken up for 1.75 months and he went out with some other girl (i use the term loosely as this “girl” is 8 years older than him and looks it) last week, so i’m afraid that he’s going to see my crazy side come out…when we broke up, he changed into a completely diff person…he’s totally “bro’d out” and thinks he’s on the damn jersey shore (which isn’t cool…what’s cool about a bunch of almost thirty year olds with no careers trolling for loose women?) not sure yet what i have planned, but im thinking a) steal his beloved dog (I know thats too crazy, but i thought about it! haha) b) smash all the windows in his car (then he wont be able to take girls out because he’ll need the money for his car!) c)glue/tape a hundred pictures of us to his car (he’s notoriously late for work, it’d be great) d)break into his house when he’s sleeping and scare the shit out of him, or steal his cell phone, or something equally crazy…the problem is i’m at university (he broke up with me right before i left, such an ass) and i’m pretty far away…all these plans are going to have to wait til winter break.
oh and i’ve already hacked his facebook (three times) to get him to talk to me when he refused, i of course left him crying voicemails, texted him pictures of us, texted him that i loved him then that i hated him, hacked his email (of which i currently have the passwrd) and i of course delete VERY important emails and laugh, made up fake facebook profiles to talk to him, get my friends (who live where he lives) to stalk him for me etc.
if you think i’m crazy, believe me…this break up was too much! he pretty much abandoned me at the WORST possible time in my life, if i werent such a strong person, who knows what would’ve happened to me?! basically, he deserves it. thanks for letting me vent, it was very therapeutic. 🙂
Hi Melissa,
Glad you feel better after venting! Hopefully we can all learn from our crazy behavior and be better next time. No guy should drive us to be nuts!
I gathered up all of my boyfriends gifts and clothes and treasures including a History test which he got an A for and I burnt them all in one big heap. I then took a photograph and sent it to him. This was after finding out he cheated on me and for me having to endure months of verbal abuse and a suicide attempt. That moment helped me to get over him. My dad even helped me. He was shocked to say the least ;P
Wow, Lauren. That’s a tough spot to be in. I’m glad that burning his stuff helped you.You deserve so much better than that treatment! Good luck to you – I hope you get the respect you deserve (and a whole lot less drama) in your next relationship!
Ha! I just wrote about this!
I think the worst thing I do is that I always send a post-breakup letter or email, and three times I’ve sent either a book or a mix cd along with it. It’s so embarrassing after the fact.
But this last breakup, I’ve definitely caught myself “needing” to walk through his neighborhood on the way home from work or texting him to ask some stupid piece of information. It’s bad. I finally just blocked him for good on Facebook, since that was the last thing I was still doing. Not so healthy, but I think all of us have done it.
By the way, I totally second you on the recommendation of “It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken” – that book has helped me in so many ways and gotten me through some sleepless nights.
A breakup letter actually sounds like an awesome idea. A chance to get your thoughts and emotions all out. But maybe the healthiest thing would be to write it – and not send it. (I don’t think I’m capable of that, myself!). I think the biggest step for me was unfriending him on Facebook. Now, that was a hard step to take, but I’m happy I did.
I am definitely in crazy mode right now! I was married for 7 years, only to find out he cheated on me and lied to me the whole time… so we broke up and I’m very proud to say I didn’t go even the least bit crazy on him 🙂 But 2 months after we broke up I got with a new guy and immediately got pregnant… we stayed together for a couple months, but I had to move back home across state cuz I didn’t have anywhere to live and he wasn’t makin an effort to keep me there. I gave him several opportunities to get out of the relationship, I asked him point blank if he wanted to just break up, but he would always tell me no he didn’t wanna break up, he wanted to have a life and a family with me, and that we would figure it all out. Well a month after I moved he broke up with me thru text message (I was almost 6 months pregnant at the time) and said it was only until I moved back (which I’m moving back to go to school). For the next 2 months he kept tellin me how much he missed me and couldn’t wait for us to get back together, and no of course he wasn’t sleeping with any other girls… I then find out from his sister at my baby shower that he’s been sleepin with his ex as well as several other girls 😛 When I accused him of lying to me he swore he wasn’t… So I stalked his facebook page (even after I deleted him), made up a fake facebook and added all his friends and family so I could keep tabs on who he was talkin to and what he was sayin…
he continued to string me along for the next month until we had a huge blow up fight… We weren’t even speaking to each other until 2 weeks ago (I’m now due to have the baby next week), when he started callin and textin me tellin me how much he misses me, cares about me, and that he’s so lonely, can we start again? I tell him yes and I start feelin like maybe this time things might work out, but 2 days later he calls to tell me he’s been dating a new chick for the past week (so he had a girlfriend when he told me he missed me and cared about me :P) and that he’s totally in love with her and wants to have a baby with her… wtf?! You should probably never tell the woman who is pregnant with your baby that you’re plannin on makin a baby with a chick you just met 😛 I played it cool but I freely admit to goin crazy… I created a fake persona on the dating site he mentioned he was on so that I could see what she looked like and read what he had posted about himself, I continue to stalk his facebook page, I text him all the time, and am thinkin about changin the baby’s name (he picked out both the first and middle name and the baby is supposed to have his last name), and maybe not tellin him when I go into labor so that he can miss the birth of his first child… I know all of this is completely wrong but I can’t seem to help myself 😦 I’m sure all the prego emotions are what’s makin me be so crazy but I don’t know what to do to stop myself… any suggestions?
Ashley,
I’m sorry to hear what you are going through. This guy seems like an awful person who has no respect for you or the baby. Since you asked, my suggestion would be to only keep him in a limited role in your life, as the father of the child. Allow him to participate but do not get romantically involved with him any further. You obviously can’t trust him and he doesn’t deserve you. Be respectful to him and cordial, but I think you should limit your access to him to only include things related to your child. You need to spend some time by yourself, dont you think? You were married for 7 years, then immediately ended up in this painful relationship with someone else. I think you should spend some time learning to be a mom and focusing on your baby, and recovering from what you’ve been through the past year. You’ll know when you are ready for love. And I think you’ll know it when you realize that you deserve WAY better than this guy and you won’t settle for less. Good luck to you!!
Hi you all crazy single ladies!
I broke up with my ex about 3 years ago, and that’s all fine, I don’t miss him and I sometimes even forget that we have actually lived together (we were together 2 years). Our relationship went forward pretty quickly, but the last 8 months weren’t that good and I had postponed my decision to break up with him. Maybe I’m in a different position here, since I was the one leaving, but I still went all crazy in the end.
I got myself together to tell the break-up news when I questioned if he fancied this girl at his school (he started another education in that autumn), and he couldn’t admit that there was something going on. I was working a lot at the time, and you can probably imagine how it is to be in a relationship when the other one is having all kinds student-life fun, pub crawls etc., and the sparkle between you two is slowly but surely fading even more.
One hangover morning I told my decision, but since we got along well, we thought to continue living together till the end of next month, which meant 1,5 months to find a new place to live. However, in one of the busiest time in my work, he left for a drink with his school friend (yep, the same one as I had suspected before) and he didn’t come home that night. He didn’t answer to my text or to my phone calls. This just pulled the trigger, since we had made an agreement to not to scrub anything/anyone new to each other’s faces and to keep it cool when we are still living under the same roof. And he was moving to a new place within 1 week, but apparently he had no respect.
At the same night/morning, I went totally nuts when he finally let me know at 6am that “he is okay and I shouldn’t be worrying” — in a tone that you’re stupid to be even worried — honestly, I was also worried.
I left him a note on the table that our agreement is not valid anymore and he shouldn’t dare to come home when I’m there, but instead he should come to pack all his stuff when I’m at work. He wasn’t there when I came back, and during the next following days he had packed his stuff into boxes and placed them in a corner. I started the separation in a more symbolic way — I cut him out of the fotos with me, but I placed those pictures of myself into a new frame, proud of my new single life. And I burned the ones with his face. Of course I left everything to the table so that he could see what I’ve done…. and he had left a note: “Are you sure you’re alright?” 😀 😀 lol
But the best thing is to come ….. those cardboard boxes. He was hiring a moving company to help him with the move (we didn’t have a car), so I did the following: I wrote something nasty and cruel to every box with a marker, so that he and the moving guy must see it. The texts were something like “this box is full of shit as its owner”; “belongs to a loser”, etc. Of course my ex tried to mess over the text, but the best thing was that I had actually opened the boxes and written the same stuff inside as well! Double-revenge! Hahah! I knew that his friends were helping him with unpacking the stuff, so what a sweet revenge. Btw, he left me to the empty apartment with no table, no bed, no nothing, and I lived there the next three weeks — all happy because I was finally free from the depressing relationship. I also think that his aunt (and our landlord) wasn’t too happy with him when she saw how little I was living on, and how I had cleaned everything up so that she could rent the apartment to someone new.
Long story short, he started to play his games with me after those three weeks, when I was finally moving to a new luxury apartment. Shame on me, I was fooled once more, but that time I had no respect for him, so maybe it was crazy of me to try to see if a person can change… However, I found my current partner rather shortly after him, and he’s total a different person compared to my ex 🙂
I also found it way-too-hilarious when I heard that my ex was about to move last summer… When I asked if he had used the same boxes, he said that he wasn’t that happy to see those messages again 😀
Triple-revenge!
Hahaha, okay so yeah you’ve been pretty crazy. But the boxes are priceless. What a good idea. LOL 🙂
Found your blog through a Google search and I’m LOVING it. Especially this post. It’s so nice to know that there are others that have done the things I’ve done (or think about doing)! Looking forward to reading more.
Sarah,
Glad you are enjoying the blog! Thanks for taking the time to comment!
The craziest thing I have done is email a guys older brother at his work email about what his little brother had done and how much it was hurting me. Don’t ask me what I was thinking — at the time I was trying to embarrass him with his family (that didn’t even know me, had never met me). Certifiably crazy? Yeah.
The worst is this email behavior has not changed — yes…”oops I did it again!” I wrote a series of emails this time.
1. To say sorry and explain why I did what I did
2. Next email: detailed explanation of the circumstances since he was not returning my call.
3. Further email of how hurt I was, how much I cherished our time together and would not change it out for anything followed by a rant on how he needed therapy and was intentionally torturing me and fine “he had won”.
He had won alright…
Wow…. I know how you feel. Sounds like you need an email break (we all do sometimes!). 🙂
Wow. I actually google crazy things people do during a break up and found this site. I just went through a break up and I am guilty of the 20 text messages in less than 2 hours. I think that’s pretty crazy but I don’t feel too alone because there are so many things here way crazier than my text obsession. Needless to say my ex blocked me from texting and calling his phone and told me I was a psychopath. This was an unhealthy relationship to begin with, I was in love and he was hung up on something a girl did to him so he was incapable of becoming emotionally involved. I had the moments where I texted him to curse him out and then in the same breath apologize for cursing him out. He said this was the craziest break up he has ever had and I need to seek help LOL but I think the million text messages after a break up is the normal thing for both sexes. To retaliate against his attack on my ego I proceeded to tell him that he meant nothing to me and I cheated on him the whole relationship(none of this is true). He now hates me even more and told me he never wants to speak to me again. Lol. Its amazing how normal it feels in the moment to do and say these crazy things. I felt bad afterwards for being “crazy” and then sent him a long email apologizing for being so heartless with the cheating comments.(another crazy thing to do). At the end of the day I think if you have been with someone for a year or more and you guys experience a break up whether bad or good none of these actions should constitute as crazy because feelings are involved and love and rejection can make people do and say some insane things way out of their normal character
20 texts in 2 hours? Sounds like you have some texting talent. Maybe you should enter a competition 🙂
Really, I hope you are doing better. I hate when my feelings get the best of me … and love/heartbreak has a way of doing that…
Lol thank you so much Im going through my second divorce and I have a crazy story or two. This made me feel well at least a lil more normal. FB stalked oh. Checked bank account yep. And my best pulling various wires out of his guitar amps before I left.
liketheflower,
Ha, never heard the guitar amps piece before… but that’s kind of ingenious :). Good luck with the divorce. Try not to let it get the best of you!
I am going through a break up right now after an being with him for 11 months. we were in a toxic relationship where we both loved each other but he has terrible trust issues and he was convinced that I cheated on him. He’d accuse me, blame me, throw subliminal messages my way daily and I’d break up with him almost every day due to his illogical accusations that made no sense but his evidence was build in his head and he would find a way to justify his accusations. I would sit there defending something that did not exist and could not exist. Love could not save us 😦 He was a good man though who needs loads and loads of help and my first real boyfriend so it hurt like insane but I guess I knew I had it coming. I did some crazy stuff too. he’s def the crazier one but he would drive me insane. I verbally went psycho on him when I broke up with him because of the illogical accusation that he was making, it made me soooo angry that I threw all the trash that he had in his car his way, had a verbal psycho fit, cussed him out, slapped him, slammed his door, went to his working station and threw the food i brought for lunch on his keyboard and left work sick.
And then after 2 hours, sent him a long message on skype but then blocked and deleted him, changed my phone number so I don’t wait for his calls, stalked his ex that I was always so insecure about and felt like she was way prettier than me to see if he got back with her, stalked his sister, sent her a couple of messaged telling her how her brother needs help. changed my hair color. dropped out of courses. cried my eyes out for hours but kept strong enough for 3 weeks to not contact him but then after changing my number, ended up contacting him asking for a stupid photo album that I had ordered to his address for our anniversary—after his rude response about he still believed that I did him wrong, cursed myself for contacting him and cried even more. After 5 months of a break up, I still search his ex up on google, stalk her on twitter and facebook, stalk his sister to see if I can see what’s going on and i plan to show up at his house through balcony to see if he is moved on to the next or the “Ex”. It’s sad i know!!
not to mention this is my finals week!!!
5 weeks of break up*–maybe in 5 months, I will not stalk his ex or his family members. hopefully!!
lovesucks,
Wow. It sounds like you made some good decisions by trying to cut yourself off from him, but I understand why you slipped and reached back out to him. Happens to the best of us. Have you read It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken? This is a really good book to provide clarity to your situation. One of the things they suggest is a Hetox – basically a detox against your ex. Go 60 days without talking to him or having any contact. I’m telling you, it’s hard to keep up, but will do wonders. Anyway, good luck with your finals!! Follow your dreams and DO NOT let this guy hold you back!
OMG- this blog is amazing. I feel so much better right now. My cheating boyfriend just moved out yesterday, and I’m so relieved to find that I’m not alone in feeling a little bit “over the edge”. I have been facebook stalking him and his other girl and reading emails and calling him for stupid reasons. I’ve thought about doing even crazier things like these commenters have done. It’s like I’m having a momentary lapse in my true self. Weird. Hopefully I’ll come out of it sooner rather than later and have a bit of my dignity still in tact.
Rae,
Thanks for reading and glad this blog post can serve as a bit of a reality check! I kind of like to live vicariously through my readers’ experiences. Maybe you can do the same, to avoid doing anything you’ll regret. Take care of yourself 🙂
One night…. after having a girls night out on the town I went over to my ex boyfriends apartment….He lives in a secure building so I rang and rang his buzzer to no avail…so after 10 mins of ringing the buzzer I went over to his car hoping that when I pulled on the car door handle the alarm would go off and he would come out….To my surprise the car wasn’t locked…I got into the car started snooping around and came across a bag of garbage hanging from the stick shift…I grabbed the bag of garbage and went home to inspect it lol….Crazy huh….
LOL, Vanessa! I think you are the first one to admit to going through someone’s trash (but plenty have done it!). Hilarious. Crazy, yes…. but funny. 🙂
I met my ex on an internet dating site. He was my first bf, the love of my life, we had our life planned out together and the break up was/is worse than anything else I have gone through in my entire life.
When we broke up, I did things like constantly calling/texting/emailing him until he replied. However when he started ignoring me for days, I got really really really desperate and proceeded to do the most crazy thing of my life!! I was convinced that he had set up a new account on the dating website we had met through.The account I believed to be his was so like him, that I was 100% sure it was him. Being so desperate to talk to him, I set up a fake account on the site, just so I would have some form of communication with him!!!!!! My genius plan was to keep talking to him on the website, so he would remember why he fell for me in the first place. Then when he was really in like with me on the site, I was going to reveal my true identity. I even uploaded fake pictures to send in case he suspected it was me. When I was doing all of this, I felt so crazy and like I had reached an all time low! It is certainly not my proudest moment, but I was literally so so desperate to have some contact with him that I would have done anything.
The funniest part was that it wasn’t even his profile…just someone who really sounded the same as him!
After we broke up, my last boyfriend and I, his sister was still a close friend. She accepted we let skype running when he came to see her, a year after because he had asked things about me some days ago. That was crazy to me that she would say yes to my crazy voiced thought but she did. The most crazy things were his comments and the face of my friend knowing I could hear. He was in love with another girl when we first met. He said hundred of times that it was gone when we were together but I never believed him. I didn’t mind though because I thought we all have a ghost and she was a pretender. She liked to play with him so I knew she wouldn’t be interested in having him really. She was. They are now a strong and happy couple. I cried my world this day, not because he had a new girl, but because he had THAT girl. I still check on his FB wall but I don’t ask anything to my friend. She was in a very difficult place that day, I owe her a big one. She recently admitted she had said yes because she would have liked to be helped when she was having crazy thoughts. I hope one day, I can give it all back.
Remembered this blog and had to share this…..my ex husband showed up on my doorstep asking to borrow my car so he could go spy on his NEW fiance! He was suspicious of her and wanted me to help him find out if anything was going on! I mean, who does that? Now that’s some crazy BS! Involving your ex to spy on your new mate! Needless to say, I said no despite his begging. He’s still getting married again despite his misgivings. Some people never learn!
Haha, 2newbeginnings! That is a new level of crazy!! Thanks for sharing it with us. Lessons learned in craziness 🙂
I am currently having a crazy patch. Thank god this crazy patch is only a bit of facebook stalking. However he has been posting statuses which I’m 95% sure are about me. There have been other things to indicate this BUT I will not respnd because he is the real mental and he is trying to get a reaction. We have broken up like 5 or 6 times now. However after the 5th break up I did my craziest thing. We had this huge arguement over facebook because I refused to discuss our break up (which was justified because he refused to go to my birthday party then accused me of trying to get pregnant and forced me to take a pregnancy test). So he sent me this email and had a go at me, accused me of various things and tried to make me feel bad and then blocked me.So I logged on to his facebook and unblocked myself, then sent him my own email which ripped into him and then blocked him. I went back onto his facebook to reblock myself and found I couldn’t but I figured hey, why not check his emails apparently he had started emailing all his old girlfriends that day.
All I can say I was an idiot to go back there the 6th time. My crazy came out again but not to the same extreme. He stopped speaking to me for no reason. Honestly no reason we had a small arguement but resolved it some what and then talked about the trip we were wanting to take together this summer and then he left and didn’t speak to me again. I asked him what was going on and he said ‘nothing since our last conversation’. I don’t understand anyhow the crazy part is I packed my stuff and moved. He asked for a pair of pants back which are his favourties and I figured if you can;t be bothered to tell me why you stopped talking to me I can’t be bother to return your pants.
So that’s my crazy.
Also thank you for all your blogs. I have been fine since we last broke up but I’m sick at the moment and it is bringing me down because my ex always used to take care of me and make cups of tea and good food for me. Reading your blogs has kept me away from facebooking him. All I can say is thank god I deleted his cell phone number or I could be up to round seven. I REFUSE TO GO BACK THERE! I like that quote it’s called a break up because it’s broken.
Wow, this sounds so much like an ex of mine. His initials aren’t EB, are they? That would be creepy! lol
Hi Ally,
I’ve been through a rough patch myself lately and did not crazy things myself. Like waiting for hours in his building hiding til he gets home because I still have keys to his apartment..
That was before I found out through facebook that he was cheating on me… then I stopped.
I still miss him sometimes, we did have good times together but like you said it’s broken..
I just keep myself busy so I can move on….
Man after reading this blog.. its sounds like some stuff i did.. first off.. as i see most comments are by women, i am a guy.. but just recently broke up with my girlfriend, like over the weekend. We dated for 3 months, first 2 were great, but the last month she stopped asking me to come over and see her, asking for space, that we needed to slow down.. obviously, signs that i shouldve ended it there, but was being understanding.. so i always tried to make plans, always something came up.. sign number 2 but still didn’t give up.. that was going on for a month… Finally over the past weekend she made time, we went out for my birthday, out to a concert, was great, but was plagued with some thing i saw earier that day but kept it to myself for sake of trying to have a good time and seeing how she was…
The night was a disaster though.. she kept dissappearing at the concert, yelling at me, telling me to stop being around her *which she has never done ever* something was off and then i had to take things to the next step… the next day i approached her about her Dating profile that i had seen that she joined last month, paid and full membership.. even logged into my old account on the same site to confirm my disbelief took a screen shot to show her… she started to lie, saying oh well, i have a profile, its free, had it for 2 years now, doesn’t mean anything, i told her it was a paid membership, i know the difference, i even got into her account and seen that she was exchanging emails with guys for the past 3 weeks, for obvious reasons i didnt disclose that info, just wanting to see what she would say when i approached her about this… she lied and lied and lied.. couldn’t tell me the truth, started placing the blame on me, telling that i’m assuming.. so through texting she tells me that she can’t take my shit anymore and its done… i was like you are gonna take the cowards way out… whats worse is i was strung along by this woman for the past month.. i paid her overdue cell phone bill so her phone would be turned back on, bought her flowers, gifts, what nots… treated her with respect and trusted her immensely.. now i just want to get what is mine that is at her apartment and she won’t answer me, or pick up her phone.. so in short.. there are some men that are truthful but in the end get hurt as well.. i was always faithful to this woman and she strung me along till she found greener pastures..
I will miss her, and still love her, but she broke my trust and used me… and doesn’t have the decency to even say sorry, she finds it easier to hide in her guilt and place blame
i am guilty of sending many texts of her trying to get the truth out of her.. trying to call her and talk to her, there was like a 10 texts to her 1 text back ratio, her texts were usually saying i did nothing wrong to you, your being a psycho and playing the victim and i don’t want a man like that.. yada yada yada…
she was caught red handed, the hand was in the cookie jar… i lent her so much money that she said she would pay me back.. when i asked if she was going to pay me back.. she never replied..
she has since blocked my number so i can’t call her.. don’t know if she can get my texts since that is basically different process then a phone call… it just proves her guilt…
I’m not broken up yet.
But here’s the level of my craziness: Iv’e checked journals, sketchpads, phone and fb messages. I found him being dishonest with me, flirting with a girl that’s still in hgihschool over facebook. Dumping all the qualities he thinks I don’t have and talking about how there were so many things he wanted to tell her before he moved in with me, how faith will bring them together. Iv’e confronted him: he apparently hasen’t done anything. I just can’t trust anymore. it’s not the first time this has happened, Iv’e had my fair share of crazy behaviour because of other girls too. But when it comes to infrequent sex, berely being spoken to, and being kicked out of the apartment so he can fb chat. I think the craziness is too be expected. Wonder how the rest of it wil turn out…
Questionning,
Sorry to hear what you are going through. But it sounds like he can’t be trusted. And know that you deserve someone you can trust and who will love you unconditionally…and certainly not complain about your flaws to some highschooler. Please realize your worth and find a way out of this situation. Take care of yourself 🙂
My name is Paul and first off i have always been more tuned into my fem side. After my first true breakup i allowed my crazy to fully take me over. I knew passwords and stalked the heck out of him, even to the point of following him to a club with a new guy and making a huge scene including keying his car. I am not proud of what I did but here i sit two weeks after another breakup for which there were no signs of it coming. I immediately packed my car and moved back home. No matter how busy I try to stay the hurt is with me everyday and the need to know what all he is doing. I am working on myself to change this because becoming the crazy-ex is not my intention. based on the stories the more crazy comes with the more hatred and being upset you are. To who all reads this I wish the best for you through your breakups and if that man hurt you so bad then us scorned women have every right to lash back. Just remember to not lose yourself but you will find a man that will sweep you off your feet!!
Where to even begin!? (First of all this website is awesome! and also has made me feel some-what sane now knowing that Im not the “only one” out there doing crazy sh*t)! (:
My ex and I recently split after five long exhausting months together. While him and i were together, I had suspicious that something was going on with him and another female. After confronting him the first couple of several times, he would blow it off, and blame me of being “overly jealous”. I begin to think I was over analyzing ever make scratch, mark, bruise, on him, not to mention the times he came home and had a scent of perfume, or pieces of glitter on him! I just told myself “clam down, just like he said ‘I am only analyzing’!” Although my analyzing thoughts kept me up most of the night eating me alive, making me miserable.
I told myself I cant lose him over my pity thoughts! I not only wanted to know the truth, but I needed the truth..It was time to learn what was really going on!
After watching dozens upon dozen of YouTube videos regarding hacking into a Facebook account, I accomplished it!! My boyfriend was never to into the whole Facebook thing, so I was not surprised to find out there wasnt much actions in his inbox, Even after hacking into his Facebook account and reading his messages, etc, I still wasnt satisfied! Once again he came home late, and no surprise, he was too tired to talk, or even watch a movie, he stated he was “overly tired, because I’ve been stressing him out!” I thought to myself “Excuse me! I’m the one losing sleep over all your excuses!!
Finally I took it to the maximum of extreme, I paid $380 to have his phone records, every time he made a phone call or received a phone I would be notified of the number that he is in contact with as well as his location, also any number he texted (vis versa) would notify me. I also made a fake Facebook as a female, and bought another cell phone and posed to be someone else who is interested in him…needless to say, he is unfaithful.
We broke up. He didn’t take split as hard as me! Sometimes i find myself about to call him and beg him back!! He is currently sleeping with a married women, I know this for a fact, because most of the time I spend my day sitting in my car in the parking lot of her apartment, when her husband comes home my ex always sneaks out the glass sliding door! hmmm! why is he “sneaking if he has nothing to hide? Yes, his phone is still hacked!
After all the lies he told me that I believed, I still havent had it in me to change my sheets, nor my pillow cases, take down our pictures, or go on and about with my day, i still circle my day around spying on him, I know its pathetic and unhealthy of me..but for now, im not ready to move on, im doing it at my own pace.
Good to know i’m not the only crazy but i feel what i have done seems to be a tad more insane than you… I had an absolute nightmare of a relationship for 5 years with a man who turned out to be a cheat and liar in the end after he broke up with me because i “got fat and ugly and wasnt worth his time any more” i found out it was actually cause he had been cheating on me with a girl we had both known for years. Well as soon as i got the oportunity i ventured back into our apartment while he was out to find some of her things there and i absolutly flipped out! I brushed my hair leaving loose strands all over the place, sprayed my perfume on the bed to try and mess up their relationship and finally i spat in a pack of her eye make up removing wipes, knowing full well she’d either notice and flip out or not and just them to wipe her eye make up off. I’m not fantasticly proud of this but it made me feel better and even now 4 months on it brings a smile to my face to think of it.
I drove into a telephone pole because I was looking into a parking lot to make sure his car was there and that he was where he said he was. (this was pre breakup. I had trust issyes which turned out to be justified) I hit my head on the steering wheel and got a concussion. My car got fixed but my insurance premiums are through the roof now.
Oh no! Perfect example that being crazy is not just crazy but dangerous 🙂 Glad you are OK!
I check his Facebook page every chance I get. I neverposted stuff on it but after I read his post I would respond to them on my page. As if he would know. I know he is over me and I have to accept it. I mean he doesn’t even respond to my text anymore. When I heard the song “Goodbye My Lover” I just had to postthe linkon my page with the intention he would find out, but 12 minutes later I deleted it cause I realized I am becomingthe crazy ex and well damm I don’t want him to remember me as being the crazy ex. So I have decided not to post anything else about the way I am feeling regarding the break-up on Facebook. I will be an adult and somehow find the way to let things just be. Wish me luck.
Evelin,
Glad you came to your senses. So many of us get all emo on FB thinking it’s going to affect our ex when all it really does is makes us look crazy. Good luck moving on — much easier once you get separated from him on FB AND in real life!
I know if I would not see him it would make things easier for me. But, that is not the case. I work with him and everyday he sees me he tells me how nice I look and other little comments. My friend says he is just useing me and I’m getting fed up with the situation. When he tells me things I say thank you just to be polite and just keep doing whatever I was doing. I am trying very hard not to let what he says give me hope that our relationship will start again because I know that is not the case, and honestly I’m not sure if I would want it. What I really want is just to be over him and move on with my life.
Evelin –
I think you jus tsaid what we all want “What I really want is to just be over him and move on with my life.” It’ll happen. I promise. Sometimes you’ll take so many little steps that you won’t realize your progress…until you look back and realize all the little steps adding up to something amazing. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Facebook makes things really hard, I think if I were to go through a breakup again. I would have to delete my account for a while, till I got over it !! As great as social media and tech are I think it makes things really hard, especially during a break up.
A bucket list allows you to celebrate small steps. I know its something that has helped me in the past….
Please follow my blog :
http://shantarella.wordpress.com/
Great advice shantarella! Thanks for sharing.
so i stumbled on this bc i was googling crazy things breakups do to you. today or rather last night i hacked in my exs fb (its been 3months since she broke up with me after 2 yrs) found really nothing but flirty comments, wall post an a guy she is “seeing” so i was pissed drunk, an then i started texting her…did i mention i drove by her house, checked her bank account, email THEN hacked her fb..yeah i went off the deep end…so i texted her at 4 in the am a whole load of well basically f-you for seeing someone…next day when i woke up realizing what i did i texted her pinning the blame on a friend of mine she dosnt like. so i then drove to her house to talk to her an plead my case, or lie…she of course didnt believe me, i lied like i never lied before even had my friend talk to her to tell it was her that did all that. she still didnt believe of course an then told me she wanted nothing to do with me, for me to grow up then “maybe i can be your friend but i doubt it”
ive ruined every chance i had an then some. she has a son that was like a step son to me, now hes gone too.
i wish i didnt go crazy, lie, or anything. i wish i hadnt drank so much i no longer had a conscience.
i wish there was hope that shed believe the “truth” an reconsider cutting me off forever. im having a hard time with all this. oh im a pisces an shes a sagitarius
Stephanie,
I’m sorry I don’t have a lot of advice to share because I don’t understand the situation exactly. What I do know is that if have changed and learned from your mistakes, all you can do now is go forward. Live and be better. Show her you have changed. It’s her call whether that change is enough or if she believes in the change. All you can do is handle your side of things. And if it doesn’t work with her, then it wasn’t supposed to. Someone else will see you for your worth. But you just need to focus on improving yourself and being happy with yourself.
i hope you still write on this/comment back 🙂
After my ex lefty me for another girl, I initially handled it as mature as possible. I told him how hurt I was, etc and then never called or texted him again. Well a month after he left, he started telling me how much he missed me and how he made a mistake but yet he was still with the new chick. I fell for his words despite his actions not matching up. I felt like i got broken up with twice it like he had re-opened my wounds. So, my crazy came out in the form of Facebook and twitter stalking, drunken texts about how much i want him and just acting desperate. Alot of my crazy was internal. Thoughts like slapping him or even telling his new gf about him texting me that he misses me, etc. Smh
I’m embarrassed but all i can do is tell myself, everyone has that ONE asshole that makes you act like someone else. Trying to not contact him anymore. Good to know im not the only “nutcase” out there. Lol
LOL Rykel,
You are NOT the only nutcase out there. And you are right. Most of us have someone that drives us off the deep end. Or many than one person. I guess all we can do now is laugh about these experiences and find ways to move on and be better next time! But thanks for sharing your story – it helps others feel less alone!
Well, I actually just had my crazy moment. Not too too crazy. But anyway, while many people post facebook statuses with “you” “he” and so on, implying a person without saying the name- I decided to get on my facebook. I posted a status “way to go”. Because anytime he made me mad or did something stupid, I would just look at him and say “way to go Paul”. Then he texted me, “is that about me?” which is when the anger set in. Absolute anger. And I said, “yes, it was. Be glad I didn’t tag you”. He said “Go ahead”. So now I have posted it. “way to go Paul”, with a tag. Immature? yes. Crazy? Kinda. But that’s okay, after what he has done.
Ha Jessica, I don’t find that THAT crazy. I mean a little off — but not totally crazy. Have you read the stories in this post? Yours is pretty tame. Find comfort in that 🙂
The best crazy thing I did though was steal his condoms before I moved out of his apartment…Because my crazy “just-broken-up with” mind thought..I don’t want him to have sex while I’m gone….It was sweet revenge though to use them the next time I slept with someone else
It’s been over 3 months since the breakup and I still have access to his google calendar which he had shared with me. Every time I see him add a new girl’s birthday to it (after he deleted mine of course) I google her/facebook stalk her to make sure she’s not hotter than me. My ex is also crazy meticulous when it comes to his calendar, so I can see still when he wakes up/eats/showers/goes out to bars…because he seriously puts that stuff in his calendar. I know at some point I should get rid of it…but why when I get so much juicy information from it right now.
What else…Right after the breakup I took one of his day calendars and wrote over 200 reasons why we should stay together…luckily I only shared a couple with him before I moved cities. I spent over 200$ in gifts for him after the breakup. I’m pretty sure I called him one day more than 50 times in an hour because he wouldn’t pick up. I thew away my desktop computer (I had been gaming a lot) to show I had changed. I opened one of his new star wars puzzle and on the back wrote “I love you” once I had finished it.
And the crazy thing about all this…I have no idea who this woman is that did all these crazy things, because I used to be such a sane, confident woman who never relied on a man. I regret doing most of these things…except for the stealing condoms part. I still laugh about that.
Wow, thanks for sharing your craziness! It happens to the best of us. Now, as far as the calendar you keep checking, let me just tell you, it may seem like “juicy” information now, but every time you check you are keeping yourself from moving on just a little bit. It’s a little reminder of him and his life. To get over him, really, you have to separate yourself from him. I know it’s hard – trust me, I stll struggle. But you’ll thank yourself later.
Good luck! Thanks for stopping by!
My ex decided one day after i broke up with him to talk to another girl beautiful and all. I decided it was a mistake. i was talking to her sister one night, we went to school together and were close and we all ended up talking on phone. Me, the girl, her sister, and my ex. He lied saying he didnt see me the night before, that he didnt love me and liked her alot. He had been ignoring me and being so rude.Told her i was obsessive and psycho. Including lying to me on the phone that night..then we worked things out then he went off and flirted with another girl that he knew i would be jealous of when he “heard i was talking to someone else”. He lied to me about talking to her for a whole two weeks. Then I went crazy calling him, texting him, called his mom a few times. It was insane he told me when he was with her and all his friends when i told him to choose, he said yes, i have moved one. It was heartbreaking..i didnt know what to do. But he occasionally texted me saying he made a mistake he loved me and wanted to work things out but he never gave the full effort to make things right. It hurt. Now were just trying friends with benefits..But i love the guy, he was my first. What am i supposed to do, when he says he wants to work things out but never puts forth the effort, especially when around friends..
Ok, so I’m REALLY not proud of this. Actually I’ve never even admitted it to anyone but my therapist, it’s so embarrassing I was this crazy over a guy who treated me so badly. Buuut anyway -eek here goes!- two years ago my b/f of 3 yrs. dumped me. We had a terrible relationship, were ALWAYS fighting and he was really emotionally abusive and had some serious anger problems and depression and I was an idiot who had no self respect and took it. Despite all that, I was devastated when HE finally ended it, he said to “figure out himself and get his life in order.” Even after all that, we still talked for a while and “tried to stay friends,” even though I was just hoping he would figure out his stuff and we could get back together. Yea I was a MAJOR idiot!
So a couple months later, I decided it was finally time to get back on the dating horse, and give online dating a try. The same week I created my profile, I see that HE has a profile up and is looking specifically for a “long-term relationship,” and there was all this stuff about looking for true love, blah blah. And when I confronted him about it because I felt like he lied to me about getting HIS life together, he got pissed at me, claiming he definitely wasn’t looking for a relationship and was just on the site to “make friends.” And I don’t know I just snapped or something, because then I decided to find out if that was true by making a fake profile using my own pics that I photoshopped to look like someone else. And sure enough he WAS lying to my face because he contacted “me” almost right away and asked me out! And when I said “I” wasn’t sure because I was really looking for a relationship, he immediately replied that he was too! I know that was super shady of me and right after I got that message I deleted the profile and my real one, but at the time I thought I just HAD to know…which turns out was really stupid because it basically crushed me all over again that the truth was he really just didn’t want to be with me anymore. Not to mention it wasn’t like I could ever admit to him that I knew the truth because then I’d be revealed as some crazy stalker psycho person, so I had to pretend like everything was normal. But thankfully now I’m happy to say that I’m definitely not like that anymore, took a lot of working on myself and a LOT of therapy haha, but now I know I deserve better and am with a great guy who treats me like a queen 🙂 So anyone out there who reads this tale of psycho-ness, please learn from my mistakes, spying on someone is NOT worth it, makes you out to feel like a total crazy person, and sometimes it’s better NOT to know the truth and just move on!
Wow. I’m amazed that so many girls do this! I am guilty myself. Hacking their email/facebook/voicemail/phone, I’ve even gone far enough to pull up a credit report on an ex. I’m not happy or satisfied of all the things i do after a break up. i truly wish i could just let it all go and move on. We’re really hard timin it when we do stuff like that. And what makes everything worse is that usually were so depressed that we don’t go out, we stay in our shells and continue on with this behavior, until months of agony we finally LET IT GO! What are we searching for anyway? How he was a low down scum piece of poop?? I think we all got that the first time when he proved it to us before we started hacking. As women we tend to have great emotional attachments & sometimes lack emotional maturity. We all have to find balance. I know I do if I truly want to be happy. I guess the best option is to stay single..? Any way, it’s nice to know i’m not the only one. Good luck to all of you on your path of letting go, moving on and finding inner peace and confidence that so many of us need 🙂
Wow I was crazy by how many times he dumped me…yet I contined to text call….even when he wouldn’t answer door when I can by 2 times and didn’t answer door…only to make me say never again…then have him say he wanted to buy me dinner and cancell…while I sat waiting for him for an hour…when he called was nice and said…ok..sometimes soon then like a total idiot.geesh I coudlnt take a hint…but now thank goodness I have..and will stop calling or texting like a needy fool…ps…he is a felon drunk too…yikes I was crazy
I went crazy by texting him repeatedly! Also, by saying mean things to him about the current girl he is seeing! He told me I was crazy but after reading theses stories I’m starting to feel a little tamer than most!
thank god im not the only one to do crazy stuff! thank you!
not proud of this, but… sent about 6 porno magazine subscriptions to his parents’ house under his name. we were only 17 at the time. mind you, he never officially broke up with me; just started ignoring me, until i found out he had gotten with my best friend.
oh, and left all the stuff he had given me at his front door in a big paper grocery bag, except for his favorite jacket, that he had given me– which i burned in a bonfire on the beach. it felt good 🙂 my first real heartbreak… this was years ago. 🙂
Wow I just searched crazy girl after break-up and found this site. And your story is exactly the same as mine! Yes, even down to hiding in the back of his car to see where he’d end up. Just curious? How did your story end? Did you ever find the evidence you were looking for?
i just found this page,although most of the comments were from months ago… i started datin him a year ago. we broke up so many times,it’s not even funny. the first couple of times we broke up i didn’t really care. he would always come back though. he would tell me he was sorry and wanted me back. somewhere during all this i got attatched to him,sadly. i could never trust him. his best friend furthered my suspicions when he told me he cheated on me. i ended up hookin up with his best friend after sending him a text that said “i hate u because u are a fu%%ing ba$tard.” afterwards i felt guilty so told him i was kidding. the next day i admitted to cheating. he forgave me. two weeks later he cried and told me i hurt him. i wanted to die. we broke up as i cried and cried my eyes out. a week later he wanted to hook up. i went to his house. while he was in the restroom i creeped through his phone. i didnt find anything except my messages to him(my name was still saved under ‘my baby’). later i tried my best to be rude to him. it didn’t work. not long after i learned about how he cheated on me numerous times(or tried). so i got an app for free texting which gave me another number separate from my other messaging. i texted him as another girl and told him i wanted to hook up. i found a pic of a not too good looking young lady on google and sent him the picture. he told “her” she was beautiful. later we somehow got on the ex topic. he told me his was awful(which was me)but then he said he didnt wanna talk about it bc it’d make him sad. the next day he texted me(really me)griping me out,making me cry. he apologized that same day. he always wanted to hang out after that. i knew he was just using me. so,i’d be nice at first then the crazy side would come out. one time i was drunk and he was on the toilet. i was mad,so i went in there and slapped him repeatedly while he just sat there griping. once i went through his phone and found a girl he was supposed to be dating,but had just spent the night with me. after that i used his phone to send a text to his fb saying “im a dumba$$,etc…… like if u agree” people liked it. we’ve also had many text fights that mainly consisted of me telling him how awful he is in a thousand words. he would always come back to me though. i made numerous drunk calls and texts. the last time i did that was a few weeks ago. we became friends. last weekend he saw me with his friends. he was definitely angry. he texted me wow,then showed up at the house i was at. i tried talking to him,but i found myself being very rude. then he had the nerve to tell the guy i was there with that i was crazy. i yelled at him. and when he left i sent a seven page message of how awful he is,yet again. then i blocked his number. so,this all should be done as long as i don’t see him. that was all my stunts over a year. i know i’m crazy. i’m not proud of any of that. but what people don’t realize is he made me that way. he used me,cheated on me,left me,came back,it was mental and emotional abuse. i felt like i was in hell while with him. he had me so confused all the time and always sad. and he’s crazy too. he must be if he came back to me all those times lol. i hope no other man gets to see me act like that. but i’ll try my best next time to hold in the crazy even if he is as bad as my ex……..
btw…… he was also depressed all the time,had trust issues that had developed long before i came along,and he loved to act like the victim in all this. those were a few reasons for our unhealthy relationship.
When I split from my boyfriend of 15 months I was sad and dissapointed, but never did anything crazy. Two months after our split I found out that he was engaged (it was all over his facebook page)! I was psst…….so I took the diamond necklace that he bought me for christmas and I burned it along with some other items he had given to me.
WHY?????? You should have pawned it!
I would say the worse thing i did was and only recently but it was very therapeutic…i got into his emails and facebook , deleted all emails then proceeded to delete the account…after 12 years… i found out he was cheating on me so ya i was pissed…one day i love you and want this to work then next thing was well nothing….he wouldn’t even talk to me…so upon getting into his emails i had found out he was making plans to meet up with a girl he knew from his home town and said he wanted to be with her and leave me…found this out all after the fact when i read the emails …so ya the deleting stuff was therapeutic and im sure not proud of it…but damn it felt good…i also now blocked his number from my phone ..and deleted all contacts with him….still all fresh but im getting through it.
I broke his windows. Slashed his tires. Took his spark plugs. Initials on the hood. The whole bit. Since my dad and grandad fixed up cars I knew what I was doing and basically took his car apart. I went Carrie Underwood and Jazmine Sullivan on his ass.
Yea, I went a bit nuts. I was sixteen, first serious relationship, first love, he broke up with me 15 days after our one year and I found out he had cheated on me for three months 2 weeks after the break up. It didn’t hurt that the girl was TINY had no curves, and looked like a mouse. While I on the other hand, have curves and would consider myself a bombshell. It hurt even more that he cheated on me with what I considered a definite downgrade. I’m now 21, laugh about it whenever it comes to mind. He didn’t even tell his mamma who did it because his mamma hates cheaters and would have beat his ass up one street and down another had she known, so I got off basically scott free.
(:
-Cait
Thank god I’m not the only one! However my craziness has been going on for almost 9 months now and doesn’t seem to be going away!
I check social networking sites around twice a week, we have a lot of mutual friends so I’m always asking about him. He also unfortunately lives round the corner from me so I do ‘drive by’, not very often. I’ve done it 3 times now in those 9 months. I’ve tried to contact him to talk about the relationship and what went wrong, mainly my ‘waiting to be hurt’ baggage, I am assuming.
It’s hard to get over it though. I even have people I don’t know come up to me asking me to speak to him because he has really changed since we broke up (started taking drugs regularly, stopped speaking to friends). He has moved on and turned into a horrible person, but I feel like I’m becoming the crazy ex! How do I stop?
My ex and I date for 5 year since I was 16 and he was 15. Its been a year since our break up and now he’s dating somepne new and it drove me crazy esp cuz I still love him. I started writing him threats pretending to be some guy wanting his gf I even almost got him kicked out of his school. I was very unstable at that moment.
. Ahaha … After the break up I tried to get him back sounding desperate and then cussed him out then argued with him but a day later he calls me crazy/psycho lol … Thanks for making me feel better
Well, I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s gone a little Crazytown over a breakup.
After a 5 year relationship/engagement came to a sudden end I wanted answers. I had moved hundreds of miles away from my family for this guy, only got to see my family once a year, and now I was left in a city where I had no one- I was all by myself. I think this may have contributed to my craziness.
I knew he had recently hired on a girl at work, and I know for a fact she hadn’t applied- he just asked her. Which to me was suspicious right off the bat. So I checked phone records and though she had only worked with him for 3 days, they were texting each other non-stop.
So I did what any crazy girl would do- I called up the other girl. lol. Well, when I called her house, her ex boyfriend (who is now her roommate answered). I wasn’t intending to talk with him but we ended up having a big talk and I found out that my ex-fiance had been telling this girl he was single, made comments about how he was hoping she would be working with him, etc. She did eventually find out he had a gf however.
Anyway, I DID end up talking to the girl, and she claimed there was nothing going on- that they were just talking, but I knew that even if it was innocent on her end, it was NOT innocent on his end. She denied that he told her he was single but why text your new boss non-stop? Not very professional.
So, after all this I pretty much drove myself nuts over-analyzing the situation, and here are a number of crazy things I did:
1. Stalked his facebook and twitter
2. Stalked her facebook
3. Kept finding stuff of his around our apartment to give back to him as an excuse to see him.
4. Checked his Emails, Phone records, Contacts he added to his phone.
5. Checked receipts
6. Checked bank statements to see where he was.
7, Looked through his truck for “clues” (lol)
8. Checked his web history.
9. And of course talking to this girl he was and is still texting. She actually seems nice, but I still think he has a thing for her and she was the catalyst for our breakup.
So this is all fairly recent, and I made the mistake of sleeping with him twice after the breakup- which I never, NEVER recommend because we didn’t just have sex, we laid there and talked about what went wrong, he talked about how much he still loved me but it just wasn’t working, etc. and it just messed with my head.
So I have since blocked him and her on facebook, stopped checking his accounts, and stopped speaking with him and seeing him, It was just way too hard on my head and my heart.
My most recent ex led me to believe that he was currently going through a divorce. Turns out he hasn’t even filed yet and was also dating another girl. That’s when my crazy came out. I ran into him with her at a baseball game the night I ended things. I confronted both of them. I do feel bad about what I said to her. It’s not her fault and she had no idea about me. Although she has chosen to stay with him so i feel like she deserves whatever happens to her. He on the other hand is a lying piece of s**t.
Besides confronting them that night (bless her heart she drove away fairly quickly) while he stayed and let me berate him.
I’ve acted crazy in three ways:
1. I actually said I was going to send all of our facebook messages to his WIFE!!! of course i would never do that and the fact that i even threatened it is enough for me to know i need to stay far far away from him.
2. My craziness also comes in the form of the drive by. I can’t stop. I drive by his moms house (where he is currently staying), his exes house (where he stays on the nights he is with the kids) and the current girlfriends house. I know it’s not healthy. I just can’t stop.
3. I also created a fake facebook account and friended him (after I unfriended him on my real account). Not sure why I did that since he never posts. All it does is allows me to see when he was last active, which really tells me nothing. Well, that’s not entirely true. That’s how he sent messages to me and the girlfriend since he doesn’t pay for a texting plan. So I can tell when he is on for awhile he is probably talking to his new girl.
Did I mention I also work with this terrible guy? I instituted a no contact rule in the form of not talking to him, but he came into my work area this past Wednesday. It was for a work related thing, but he knew I was leaving for the day in 20 minutes and could have totally waited. He works an hour later than me. He also knew what time I would be alone in that work area, and he wanted to chit chat like nothing had gone on between us. He was asking all about my vacation, etc. I handled it well, but it really bothered me that he was acting like it wasn’t a big deal that we were talking. I feel very used and am upset that while I am deeply hurt he seems fine, especially since he has the other girl and I have no one. Seeing him Wednesday set back my recovery and now I feel like I am back at square one with the healing process. HELP!!!
Reblogged this on Lil-Bit-o-Dis-n-Dat (Angela Brigano) and commented:
If you think you’re crazy READ THIS! The odds are you’re a lot LESS crazy than you think. Too funny…
Thank you for this! I actually used this post as my first reblog. I wish I had time to read through all of the comments…I’ll be back for sure! Ha ha ha. Can’t wait to read more of your stuff:)
Hi! I just read this blog for the first time, and i admit it made me feel so much better. Its a relief to know I’m not the only crazy one out there!
My breakup with my ex was really complicated- we work together, and everyone knew we were in a relationship. So when he dumped me, out of the blue, THROUGH TEXT MESSAGE after 6 months, i was devastated. Things had been going well, there was just one problem- i told him earlier in the day, before the breakup, that my period was late. Turns out, i was pregnant. I told him the day i day i found out for sure, 3 days later, and his response was that he couldn’t talk about this right now, he was with his new girlfriend. I got mad. Really really mad. the next night we worked together, we had agreed to talk after work. I went batshit during our talk, and said some awful things, and notably, threw a can of soda at his truck, denting it. Later on that week, he asked to meet with me again, when we had sex, again. I knew i shouldn’t do it, but i actualky really cared for this guy, and did it anyway. He was still with his girlfriend, and i ended up emailing her intimate details about our tryst. He now refers to me as a psycho, and has threatened to get a restraining order. I ended up having an abortion (please don’t judge me for it, it would not have been fair for anyone involved for me to continue with the pregnancy, and it was a hard decision to make) on my own, and I’m still pretty angry about it. I wish i could have handled myself better, and i still have crazy thoughts about him and his his girlfriend (she is still with him!), but I’m working really hard to repress them. The situation is fairly recent, within the last 2 months, so its still difficult, but I’m working on it.
Catherine I love your crazy stories and all the other bloggers crazy stories too! My own craziness is more the pathetic kind. Like when I laid on the floor sobbing and begging my ex to change his mind about his decision to split, or whilst still living together but separated, I would spray his favorite perfume of mine all over his bed to try and make me miss him. Several offers of break up sex with him that of course he turned e down for. I think I left my self respect at the door of our breakup! I had a meltdown in a shop over something small which resulted in me screaming at the assistant and accusing them of ruining my life. Sorry I don’t have any more funny stories. Tracy.
I trashed my exes patio 2 nights ago with a random assortment of cleaning products, coffee, milk, flour, broken fudge, red wine after visiting his ex wife who verified he too was emotionally abusive with her. Mind games, narcissistic behaviour, silent treatment, controlling, other woman, etc. It was the first time I ever met his kids ironically enough. (he would never let me meet them for reasons unbeknown. I do have bipolar, but it was under control until his shenanigans kicked in. I pretty much was compelled after interaction with his wife to act in the spirit of some caped feminine crusader… and reasoned shortly after leaving her house to go and to throw random articles over his patio, and cause a bit of a trash site.
All the while I was spraying the products around and some creative therapy…he drives into his garage and catches me red handed. Of course I challenge him like a foaming madwoman. He was none best pleased and demanded me off his property. I refused to budge, the situation now becoming increasingly volatile and worse for me. By this stage I am experiencing a full manic episode and he is just unsure how to handle this. I would never have become physically violent, but I was just stubbornly fixed there refusing to budge.
He just wants me gone. I demanded he let me into his house so I could use the toilet, nope he imagined I wanted to trash the house. (I actually really did need the toilet).
Anyway, he threatens to call my mother (I am 33 by the way). I say go ahead, my mum would be proud of my handiwork. He then offers to drive me home, which I accept. I was a bubbling wreck in his car by now. Informing him that he has destroyed me in very entrenched and multiple ways. He is just desperate to get rid of me. I will be very honest in saying I mounted quite a sustained campaign of harassment against him. Emails, texts, random phone calls. Texts from other phones. Begging for closure and some sort of apology and display of humanity. Being very narcissistic he gave me half truths, mistruths… excuses. He is seeing another woman at this stage but refuses to admit.
He did eventually relent to my demands (purely to get rid of me) and actually met me for a coffee a few weeks back. He was utterly patronizing, rude, gaslighting me, denying conversations we had. Minimising the relationship, manipulating. It was truly ridiculous and obnoxius, which only served to increase my now very deep hostility. The patio blitzing, and all of my associated stunts really has not been worth it. I have expended energies and my self-esteem has plummeted, all for this one ruthless objective of seeing his demise in some way. When in actual fact he appears quite happy and thriving. It has been one of the most toxic experiences of my life, and my bipolar has sent me into breakdown mode. In the past few days I sent a further email telling him me deserved it. But that the rain should effectively clear up all the debris. He has not phoned the police, and neither do I expect him too. He said I should review my bipolar meds, and seek further treatment. I responded back by saying I finally got my closure and he would never hear from me, see me, or have deal with me again. I really did embrace my psycho side, and go off the deep end. It felt wonderfully empowering at the time, but on reflection I know this was just a passing high. Time to heal now, surge on and stay away from bad men.
Sorry for the lengthy post, but I needed to offload. Great topic. Stay strong everyone.
Hello,
My name is Jim from Tampa Bay, Florida. I was seeing somebody who pursued me by talking with me for only days in our new morning class in college and she asked me out, but I said no. So she would walk by my afternoon classroom a lot and smile, would wait for that class to be over to walk to college parking lot so she could leave college together at same time with me, you know she had the big eyes for me, did little stuff like brought me newspaper, and we flirted until she gave me her email and said let’s go out I really like you. She had a cell phone but it was a prepaid for emergencies, it definitely was a old prepaid phone. To be honest it was very clingy and people at college noticed this as well. I didn’t feel creeped out but a little weird, like that is too desperate, well it was kind of creepy. You’ll read how that is ironic below. She told me she is BiPolar. But in life you must give people a chance.
Okay we went out and had fun. She emailed me 5 times a day after that and said she really liked me, she wanted me to be her boyfriend, make love and all of that but things were going way to fast and all this was in a matter of a week or two. My life lesson from the past is was what burns fast, dies fast. I put myself on guard at this time. So I explained this to her in an email since we weren’t face to face, it seems we only saw each other in college. I said let’s slow down a bit. But I asked her out on the weekend but she had excuses. Once we saw each other at college she acted weird and started crying at college, she made a scene and left. People even asked what I did to her which I didn’t like. So, I broke up with her in email by saying “Somethings off, we aren’t working out so perhaps I’m not the guy for you or maybe we just aren’t compatible” because something didn’t seem right, like she wasn’t telling me things or just wanted a fling or had another agenda. I didn’t like she had a guys number in our morning class from last year when they had class either, and they talked in our class but he rarely talked to me. We talked about things during the whole time of break up once in a while and she even asked her friend who was a girl at college to talk to me so we could all hang for drinks at Tampa club and clear that air. I said no because I found that immature, she should have asked me, not her friend. She later called and asked to get back together and try again. We both had strong feelings. I figured okay she had to deal with stuff so okay let’s try again. Then shortly after that, she broke up with me with the “Not telling me she is breaking up with me” or “Just not out right saying she wanted it to be over” strategy. Maybe to get back at me ?
You know the “I got your emails but can’t write much now” to the “No contact for a few days” but we talked in class at college fine, to the “I went to her apartment to talk to her and she wasn’t there but she wrote an email later saying I’m a creep for going to apartment to talk” to “No it’s not another guy, I need space”, to “Have to do me” speech and all this was just in a week time frame. It was out of nowhere. I got the signs but I just wanted a direct answer, you know, the “Why?”. The “Closure”. But she never officially or directly ended it in all that time and I felt like I was getting two answers at once and I never had a relationship end like that so I was confused. Yes I was understanding the signs but the need for the answer was itching me. She is younger than me but when I broke it off with girls in past, even her, I was direct and explained it calmly and honestly to them and my past girls did that to me when they ended it with me. So I found the current girls actions very immature and cowardly. I had many relationships, but this was new to me, like why not just be upfront, I almost heard it all, I can take it. I know NOW sometimes we don’t get closure for various reasons. But back to story.
After that crazy week I just explained in the above paragraph with our “Break up”, I sent her emails but got no response. So I stopped at her apartment again days later to get an answer, any answer, good or bad, and she was at her apartment and we talked and she says she went out with a “friend” and can’t be in a relationship because of things going on in her life, but he is just a friend. Okay, so that is somewhat of a direct answer for our relationship, well direct for her, but that doesn’t explain why as for me. I emailed her and told her I understand okay it’s over but it hurts. No response, yes I got that sign. I emailed again and said “Okay well have a better life with your friend if that is your choice but I would like to know why and why you didn’t care about me”. She emailed back and said “I never said I didn’t care or anything like that”. So I responded, “Actions speak louder than words, this is tough for me, but maybe he is best for you or maybe you need to be by yourself or whatever but I’m hurt”. She responded by saying she will send more emails back. Of course she didn’t. I was hurt by this and being called a creep for showing up at apartment just to talk those times, but that’s what people do when they want to talk face to face or get answers so I sent emails maybe 2 weeks after she last replied to me at all and I said “Thanks for hurting me, you won” to “I hope you are happy” to “Why don’t you care, you played me” to “You have a spot in my heart”, Does any of this make me a creep or stalker or ? I know it’s over, but I just wanted to tell her she had a spot in my heart if that is my last words to her. Yes it was 2 weeks after she said anything to me, and in those 2 weeks I called once and sent 5 messages. Am I a creep, or just expressing my feelings which is normal ? Okay I should have left her alone if she needed space, but it seems she wasn’t being honest or her condition was affected her or maybe she used it as an excuse. So I just said what I had to say.
So can somebody explain this better to me. I’m 31 now and I’m embarrassed by all this. She was very strong at some things but very immature at others, but I guess we all are in life. Is there something wrong with me, I never felt like that before even when I deeply loved someone for years, I immediately moved on but with this one it was or is tough for me.
I would like Zepplin to weigh in on this too.
You’re not alone. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve called, screamed, kicked and cried via voicemail, sent an infinity of Faulkner-esque stream consciousness texts. Hey, and this has only been four days. I think I’m moving through the steps at break neck speed. They say you experience denial (which for the record, I think is a recurring theme for a little while), cry, reflect, get really f*cking angry (the part where you could either break their nose of their windows), fall into despair, then accept the truth:
1. they were truly the douche everyone else saw them as
2. they were hot/cold from the start
3. they come from dysfunctional psychotic families that bred their particular brand of self-sabotaging, cagey-ness, resistance to affection, narcissism, insecurity, drug addiction, mooching and so forth
4. they are unable to love themselves (so why and how can they love you????)
5. they wanted to leave, because that is the action they took
Think about it. They won’t write, call, respond via text…they never put much effort into anything at all when it came to the relationship. You were likely doing all the Christmas/Valentine shopping, all the planning of dates/trips, paying, rescuing, but ultimately they did the work of walking out. They thought about it and obviously acted on it. So if nothing else could inspire action and their desire to leave did…well then, okay…they wanted to leave (no getting around it, I realize).
And here’s the thing… I gave in to my emotions. I like to imagine when I am feeling low that other people have been more publicly humiliated and privately anguished than I. And those people showed a great deal of public restraint. But we don’t know how they managed their pain in private. Whose to say they weren’t throwing plates and screaming into the phone ‘I f*cking hate you’ ?
Alas, this isn’t bragging, but just confiding and confessing what is truly a sin. I’ve hurled insults for the last three days. I’ve been processing my feelings of anger and acceptance all in one…to the person. It isn’t a moment I want an Oscar for, but I’ve done it.
But we have to make a pact as human beings, lovable people with so much to give, not to doubt ourselves. It’s easy once you sit back and reflect to think…maybe this is why they broke up with me? Have I ruined it forever by texting him this and that? Is he thinking I’m crazy and that’s why we broke up? NOOOOO. I don’t believe it. And you there! Don’t you sink into that for a second. I did for one minute and I’m telling you not to! Because let’s go back to acceptance of the facts:
1. they were truly the douche everyone else saw them as
2. they were hot/cold from the start
3. they come from dysfunctional psychotic families that bred their particular brand of self-sabotaging, cagey-ness, resistance to affection, narcissism, insecurity, drug addiction, mooching, cheating and so forth
4. they are unable to love themselves (so why and how can they love you)
5. they wanted to leave, because that is the action they took
He or she didn’t break up with you because you were cray cray…use your logic…If you were like me you walked on f*cking eggshells to avoid coming off crazy, even when you wanted to go ballistic about their rude behaviors, lies and lack of empathy. Likely, when you were with that person, you were are trying to ‘make it work’, ‘work as a team’ and all that other beautiful stuff they couldn’t appreciate. And yeah, you may have been looking over his/her shoulder or asking questions at some point…or even often…but don’t you DARE let them off the hook! It was their cheating, lying, shifty a** who gave you the reasons to question their integrity.
It is so simple to think, ok, this last e-mail is going to make him see how I feel. How I really this or that…How big of a loser he is…How big karma is in the universe…blah blah. But the truth is, the person that broke my heart is always under a cloud of smoke, sadly barely knows what he wants, can’t escape an overbearing group of relatives and acquaintances, is stressed about who he will become. And I won’t deny I loved him, I still love him. But I conned myself (in denial and despair phases , meaning yesterday and early today) of thinking I owed him some apology. And you tell yourself you can get into their graces, they will really know you love them…but I mean, think about it…you don’t owe them anything except the distance from your beauty. You owe them a life of not knowing yours. You owe them life without your support. Not an apology. Would you apologize to a rapist, a thief, an abuser…H*LL NO! So you and me! Let’s not apologize to the heartbreakers.
Ask God to forgive you, if you feel you may have hurt them with venom, glass or something! But don’t ask them for anything from here out!
Ultimately, they gave us what they owed us and what they wanted us to have! Our time and freedom back! (You probably will never get any of your belongings or money) But money and things are cheap! Time and freedom is the most valuable thing in the world. We must be grateful to have it back, for ourselves, to utilize in healing and ultimately loving again!
Something died, but you are free! The best thing I heard today…and it wasn’t even from a relationship article…It was from Christian & East Asian philosopher Alan Watts…
He said…
NIRVANA IS WHERE YOU ARE, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE NOT TO REJECT IT…[Change]- go with it and you are at rest.
Don’t fight them anymore, dial, stalk, whatever. Try your best, as I will struggle to, in just going with the tide of change and being at peace. It happened. You can’t change it. Nothing you do will change it. It was going to happen. You have heaven right here right now, if you accept it. We can do this! The crazy has been released. Now let’s all channel our energies to something good! Because they weren’t good for us and they knew it! We have to know it ourselves!
@Been There Today, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story. I have been in an off and on again relationship going exactly how you described. Everything you said is the truth & truly inspired me to move on & be alone for awhile in order to heal. God bless and thank you.
I am going through a break up right now where I moved with my ex of 2 years to Florida and we live together. We were arguing a lot and then out of no where he wanted a break. I was so upset crying and begging. And then I had a feeling there was another girl..We still live together mind you, and I went through his Verizon account and found texts telling this girl he loves her and shes amazing and during Christmas I went home to see my family. I found a naked picture of her in our bed. When he picked me up from the airport, we went and had dinner and drinks and he said all this BS to me, and we held each other and yadda yadda and I couldn’t hold it back and I showed him the picture. He has blamed me for this whole break up saying I pushed him away, that I’ve changed because I got a degree with my job and blah blah. I am moving out but until Feb. I cant. We fight and I still tell him I care and he admitted to me about the other girl but he says she moved away and he misses her and she treats him better…they’ve been talking for a month..we’ve been broken up a monthish…im 26 he’s 25 she’s 20…Im pretty hurt and I’ve told him that what he did bringing her to our apartment was really screwed up and he has no remorse…and I said some angry words and so did he…I know I have to move on, because he’s done some shit before but he blames me for everything saying I pushed him away.. I didn’t give him much space when he asked for it because I was hurt and we live in a 1 bedroom apartment…Do you think he will realize what he’s lost once I do this No Contact and completely disappear?
facebook stalking a time or two? It’s been ten months and its still part of my daily routine.
Ex cheated. I keyed his car, sent him vile hate mail (stuff that hurt me to read again when I’d calmed down) and gave back everything he’d ever given me with notes saying stuff like – with the bath salts and soap he gave me – “use this to wash the filth from your soul”.
I know this is an old blog, but I’ve been really struggling with a breakup that happened about a month ago. We were together for almost two years, and he is leaving for the marines in a couple of months. It came out of nowhere when he left me. And I never really got a legitimate reason for it. He won’t talk to me, and it’s been driving me insane. I’ve been doing some things that make me feel downright psycho, but it’s like I just can’t help it. For one, he lives on the highway between my house and town. So I make A LOT of trips into town. Two; I know his Facebook password. And I’ve been getting on his page at least once every day and reading all of his messages. I try and come up with scenarios that will cause us to interact. His phone recently broke and I got a new one that very day (that really was a coincidence) and so I texted him and said he could use my old one. He gladly accepted so I had a guy friend of mine take me over to drop it off. I “accidentally” left all of my messages on it. Most of which were conversations about how upset I have been and how hard it’s been for me to cope with losing him. There were even three conversations with other guys on there, all of which I admitted I wouldn’t do anything with them because I wasn’t over him. I was hoping he would read all of them, but he told me a couple of days later he wasn’t going to use my phone because he had another one. I’ve been putting off going to pick it up hoping he will get bored and go through it. This has been the hardest thing for me to go through. A few more details about us: I’m 19 and he is 18 and I know it sounds crazy but we had our whole lives planned. He told me almost every day he was going to marry me someday. He goes to boot camp in two months for the marines and after that will be stationed in Florida. The plan was for me to finish school here (2 year college course I’m in) and then I was going to move to Florida and in with him. Now it would be one thing if it was all my idea, but the majority of it was actually his. He would talk about how we were going to have two kids, and two dogs (a German Shepard and a Husky). He would even go as far as talking about names for our children. He left me out of nowhere and I just don’t understand it. His reasons would change each time I asked him “I’m just not happy anymore” would be one day then the next it would be “no I still love you and I do want this to work I’m just scared because I’m leaving soon and I can’t stand leaving you behind” and then wouldn’t do anything to try and work things out. Now he won’t even talk to me. It’s been a month and things haven’t gotten any easier for me. I’ve tried to let go and open myself up to other guys but I just can’t do it. All I think about is him. I just want to be happy again 😦
Anicia, I feel so compelled to write you. First off honey, I want to tell you I’m so sorry for the pain you are currently going through. I want start off by saying, you need to put yourself first, and love yourself enough to do what it takes to overcome your current feelings of angst to pull yourself through this time in your life, because reality is, God has a plan for each of our life’s, and he forget no one, including you. 🙂
Secondly, to give you some perspective, I’m 25. I have had one tremendous heart break of my life, that forced me to grow incredibly mentally and spiritually. I dated a guy all throughout high school, that propelled me through an all time high, I was – with no mistaking-head over heels in love. He was one year older than me, and we had our lives planned out by 17 (we started dating my freshman year of hs, 16). He was an all star athlete, a nationally top-ranked runner. By my junior year, he had his college plans to sign on with a school 15 states away, and I was forced to wallow in 2 year, drawn out devastating heart break, I did everything to change his mind, not paying attention to life’s lessons, and the signs that God had played out for me to learn. I put everything else before my faith, and allowed myself to become so consumed with the love flare that I had experienced so early in my youth.
Come my senior year, enough had happened over Christmas break (during his home visit, I had found out he cheated, many times through text messages I found on his phone when he was drunk, to add he told me he hated me when I confronted him. To give some background perspective, during his senior year of high school, before he left for college, his father passed away of a heart attack. It was him and I who had discovered his father blue and clammy on the floor. On that day, before we went to his house, we were at my parents and I was taking my time in getting ready for my brothers 19th birthday party we were committed to going to together. He had told me to hurry, because he felt something was wrong, I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I had lifeguarded every summer at the local beach, and I was educated in CPR, I was the one to perform CPR on his father.) When he had returned home for Christmas break, everything between us changed. I felt committed to making him remember how we were, I forgave him of cheating and we set out and bought an engagement ring. That following fall, he transferred colleges to be closer, and I followed him the 4 hour truck from our home town. We lived together, with roommates. It took 3 months for everything to fall apart, and it did slowly, and it was horrible. He had other interests, and it was obvious I didn’t fit in with his new friends. I wasn’t a rich girl, sent away to college, I was one of six whose parents were high school sweethearts. I believed in their story, and the relationship I conformed to make work was a case of denial. I was in over my head dealing with an already over relationship. Living together before marriage was just one of my many mistakes. The fact is, I tried to control my destiny when in fact the destiny in which we have control of is so minuscule- if guided by our free will and the knowledge of the love and power of God, we will be with our souls mate. I am not by any means down playing the hurt and discomfort felt by break ups, and what you are going through. I will be the first to admit I have done quit a bit I am ashamed of that sparks a feeling of regret or humor every now and again- hence why I googled break up stories at 2 am due to insomnia. In the cloud of a break up, it’s hard to see outside that moment, but you are destined for growth!!! I promise it will be okay once you let go of the control, step back from the situation between you and him and promise commit to yourself that you will not do anything in the heat of the moment of which will cause- more pain inflicted on you or him- ie. spiteful revenge, keying car, nighttime flings, etc. You will only hurt yourself more in doing so, I promise.
I met my husband when I moved back to my home town after one semester at the community college in the same town as my ex. We started out by being friends, he it wasn’t necessary that I tried to be someone I wasn’t, like I had done in my previous relationship (my ex was a very athletically competitive and thin- I was always slightly over weight). It took months to a year to realize after the relationship ended, I was the one who was so short changed, in a relationship that grew to unhealthy proportions with no room for self growth, stuck in a period of time that didn’t allow me to individually discover my own needs or wants out of life. The companionship I had discovered with my now husband, was incredible and that friendship that blossomed into a healthy, loving relationship. One that allows self growth, individual needs to be met, an abundance of support. You too WILL be loved the exactly how you put forth love, as soon as you make the commitment to first love yourself! I know, not much more in life will melt one down to their fundamental essence like a broken heart from a break up- it breaks us down to our purest form, but out of this is self discovery and growth.
Now to get back to your situation, my brother who is 2 years older than me is a SAR Rescue Swimmer in the Navy. He and his now wife, had a lot of growing to do when they first starting dating. I hooked them up, his now wife was in my same grade. At the time, my brother was getting drunk every night, failing his classes and working at a pizza joint. When they started dating she wanted him to change, but he needed to grow on his own. My father compelled him to join the military, and what did he do, he broke up with Jen right before he left. He couldn’t handle having his security at the throws of a woman, and potentially being the one to be hurt. She did everything to keep his love, so he committed to staying together through his time in boot camp while her and I took college classes together back home, She was the one to break up with him while he was away at boot camp, and she did it in a letter. She did so because of discretion she learned of when they were apart, but she did exactly what he feared! Both of them needed to grow, and they did. He graduated and got her back, after she “taught” him, even though I do not agree with what she necessarily did, I respect that he did not want to be committed in fear of the feeling of not being the one in control. He broke it off with her, and felt strong, but when it was reversed, my brother was devastated. They are happily married today. If your guy feels like he has to- in my brothers words, ‘be a man and break it off in fear of commitment going sour, in order to get through boot camp’- time will tell you where you stand. Do YOU, take care of you. Look to those in your life who support and love you. Spend your energy on time with people who care about you, he will see in time his decision is foolish, and I kid you not- he’ll be thinking of what YOU are doing as he lay awake in his barrack. Guys want to feel love and support, and let this time pass. Be strong lady, in time – before you know it, you will be sitting up in bed next to your hubby writing to a girl begging that she finds the strength inside her, spilling out words of inspiration.
XOXO,
Dana
So comforting to know I’m not alone!!
I know I’ve had my fair share of hurt and heartbreak. I enjoy reading blog posts like these because they help remind me that I’m not the only one who does weird things when not of sound mind. If anyone reading these comments is currently dealing with breakup pain, I would encourage you to keep moving forward and not to give up.
I am SO incredibly thankful that you have written this blog. This is a great way to rediscover yourself after a traumatizing breakup/divorce/separation/etc. I found your blog literally 20 minutes ago and you’ve already made me sob uncontrollably and laugh hysterically multiple times. My ex and I broke up March 30th, and for the past 3 months I’ve felt like it happened just last week. We were only together for a year, so I can’t imagine doing this after 7 years. Ultimately I guess I’m trying to say that your story is extremely inspiring. I’ve also done some preeeetty crazy shet in the past 3 months.. gotta admit it. My ex is a narcissist (like literally has Narcissistic Personality Disorder) as well as a closeted(well not so much anymore..)-homosexual, so I try to remember those things when I feel just a tad too crazy. I’ve logged into his facebook to check his messages. Blocked/unblocked his number probably close to 50 times. (This is a good one) – DEMANDED that I get my TV off of his wall so when he neglected to do so the first few times I asked.. I went over there and yanked it off the wall myself (after hours of attempting to) and I did not fail to “accidentally” hit the wall a couple times with that damn tv. Oof, just typing that out is starting to make me feel foolish. Once again, hats off to ya for getting as far as you’ve gotten and still being able to keep up such a fantastic blog. Your life will eventually be filled with more joy than you’ve ever thought possible, so keep on truckin!
I can relate to some stories this page, Go Crazy After BreakUps 🙂
Im so glad im not the only one whos going crazy, hurting and really confused
Well my partner and i split a month ago, We had relocated 6 months ago to a small town for his job. ( i gave up a full time well paying job for the adventure)
We finally had settled into our new home and things were great, He didn’t want me working full time or really commuting although i knew i would have to commute ( nearest town/ city was 45 min away and of course finding work in a small town is a nightmare)
As time progressed the arguments got worse, Financially we were fine (I still wasnt working) however he kept wanting to buy things we didnt really need so this started to bring on the financial strain.
With all this strain i was still doing my best to attend interviews without any support from him.
Things really started to get bad when he went suddenly cold and distant and his drinking became out of control.
I tried to find out what had caused the distance/ more arguments/ no affection and his drinking but he shut down more and more.
It eventually got to the point where i was that depressed and feeling isolated i made the toughest decision… to leave.Went and checked the bank account… empty….
Made that horrible phone call to family and booked my flight… Told him that night i was leaving the next day… That night i went to bed, he came in a few hours later stone cold sober. wrapped me in a a hug and tears in his eyes swelled.
Walking away broke my heart. Id given it everything i could… i still love him… in text he has told me he still loves me… but im at a loss what to do now…Been apart is ripping me apart
A month after my breakup I googled him and saw that he had set up an online dating profile. I was pissed! Only after one month and he wants to talk to and hook up with other girls already?! I was still in shock and denial phase. Still sad. I really missed him and wanted to see how he was doing but I wanted to follow through with no contact. So I created a profile using some other random girl’s pictures and made up a profile (there goes no contact!) and he actually wrote back. We messaged back and forth for a bit while I was pretending to be someone else. Who does this?! This is crazy psycho! What did I get out of this? Honestly I wished I hadn’t done it. I asked him questions about his last relationship (which was with me obviously) and found out things that hurt me deeply. I wanted to know, that’s why I did it, but it was painful. I feel guilty that I invaded his privacy and it’s not my business to know what’s going on with him after the breakup. But I was hurting and desperate. It’s been 7 months since and I haven’t done anything else crazy. And I’m healing and moving on.
I went off the deep end in my last relationship. We were together for over a year and a half. To be fair, he turned out to be just as crazy too. We broke up because I found out he had a gf and a kid with her. After the break up, I got drunk and went to his house twice. After he asked me not to both times. We ended up having ex. sex. I eventually told his gf about it. He still denies having a relationship with me to this day. She travels alot and is with another dude so he had plenty of time to be with me. We spent the holidays together so I had no clue he had this other life. I was so devastated after the break up I lost 14 pounds. I’m just now getting over it and trying to heal from this incredible betrayal.
My boyfriend of the time was going through a divorce. His soon-to-be exwife called him whilst he was in the shower, but she left no message. I dialled the number to find out the last number that called (this was 20 years ago when technolgy wasn’t as it is now) that’s how I knew it was her. I didn’t want my boyfriend to know what I had done, so I called his number from his own phone. That way if he tried to call back the person who last called, it would be permanently engaged. Oh that feels so good to get off my chest 🙂
Hi, I am in a pickle and need some advice. Speaking of crazy things we do after a breakup.
My boyfriend moved back to England ten months ago. We were struggling before he left US here in another country. He took a job in England and we promised we were committed to the LDR. After some time, I felt US struggling even more with the distance, and statistically, we started to fade a bit. The emails became shorter and more formal and time was not available to skype as much on both sides. So, I stepped up and ended it before I became even more confused and possible let downs of this working.
Even if he met someone else, this is not my concern right now as I know we all have needs.
Before he left me here, we set up a mutual email account that we would use solely for the LDR. We shared the password and all. It was my idea. It helped is feel close. That said, after I ended it with him (On email), I know that is bad, he stopped writing me as he should have. After a few months, I felt that I was missing him and made a mistake. In the mean time, I thought many times he accepted the goodbye so easily, without a fight. So, HMMMMM..
Well, he still logs on to our mutual email account twice to three times per day. I know because I check the activity and it sends me alerts that the account is open from UK and it is in the area he lives.
My question is why? He wont talk to me, answer any emails anymore, and he wont write back at all. He opens all of the emails I send him from other accounts, and he checks our emails everyday. WHY? In some ways, I am happy he does because it is the only connection I now have with him. The question is why? If he has displayed moving on, why does he log on?
He has not blocked me from any social media: linked in, facebook, or emails either.
Someone help with this confusing situation????
Oh, and I am still in love with him fully. Although we have not spoken in ten months, I know he knows I still love him.
This made me feel better, although we weren’t together for a long time we had planned/ bought each other wedding bands and lived together. The day i moved out, i got totally shit faced and did some things I wouldn’t have dreamed I would ever do. 😦 But I feel better now, because it’s actually over and I can move on with my life.
Oh yes, I do crazy extrodinaire. Let me tell you. I hacked into an Ex’s Facebook account & found out he was cheating. We broke up but I continued to lurk his account for 3 months after. I found out he was having an affair with his ex wife’s best friend after we ended and that was just juicy. I followed that but yes it was wrong & I did stop.
This past weekend, that crazy came out ten fold and did not fail at causing me to make a complete ass out of myself. For the past month or so, my current guy friend of over a year has been “busy” Saturday nights. The kind of “busy” that causes his phone to all of a sudden not answer my calls, return my texts & then turn off, after midnight. Oh, and of course I’m never invited to these “busy” occasions due to one excuse after another.
So he’s been flaky for a little while now in other ways too. I got fired recently and at the last minute instead of keeping plans to meet with me, his friend needed a ride, then he had to see his family all of a sudden. And in the midst of all this, couldn’t be bothered to give me one call. Only texts. There was other stuff as well but lets get to last Saturday night.
So, I’m in a funk over losing my job and how my bf seemed to be running away & fast. I proved him to be wise on that, because this week when he started that not answering calls or replying to texts like past Saturdays, I made the un wise choice of getting drunk by myself. A bottle of wine later, I find myself calling his number, hitting end call and dial over and over. As I’m doing this, I’m leaving the sobbiest, most pathetic voice mails ever. All while crying hysterically, naturally.
If only it ended there. I’m wordy so I sent only Lord knows how many texts to him because I stopped counting on my phone after about 19.
He sent me three texts about all the calls the next morning & I haven’t heard from him since. It’s not like I can’t blame him. So, since I have successfully ran him off or if he was cheating, this ending seems to be working out for the best. It’s time to reign in my crazy aND be single for a while.
You guys are all amazing. I’ve been feeling so blue and ashamed of my calls and texts…but you make me feel like every day will make me stronger and I just needed to go through it. Hearts breaking can be pretty messy 🙂 Love you all
I broke up with my first love a year long relationship, I’m 21 and I never experienced love or being infatuated with someone before.
I made a fake twitter account just to see if she posted anything about me, I couldn’t help myself at all I was in that much of a state. I never messaged her, for some reason I was looking for answers and couldn’t help myself.
We spoke on the phone 2 months after the break up and I confessed as it was the only way to stop myself! Obviously it made me look like a mad person, but it made me stop and I deleted the account.
Love can make us do the most craziest things.
I sent crazy amounts of texts messages like 52 in one day showed up at his house crying and the last time I showed up, he was just pulling up with a girl . I freaked out and scared her off of him (pretty proud of that) and he’s refused contact ever since and ha I’m still crash enough to text him multiple times a day with no replies just can’t believe what he did to me. 3 weeks before catching him with this girl we were sleeping together and working on things then come to talking to her she says they’d be seeing each other for months and he had introduced her to his family and even asked her to move in with him (That’s the reason he took a break from me he didn’t want to move in with anyone or have a gf)
Men are cold and heartless and I am traumatized and feel crazy. Single for a year for me here
Smoked marijuana and cigarettes in his bedroom after we broke up, referred to his transgender dad as Mr Garrison(and called my ex Mr Slave) and a cat dog mom dad many times, deleted his okcupid profile, busted some mugs his brother made and with the pieces, spelled out “your dick sucks and your ass is lame” deleted and blocked SOOOO many girls on his Facebook(upwards to 30). Cussed him out, cussed his friends out, then moved to Austin before him, since we had been planning on moving together. All of this within a month of breaking up
Yes I have done a lot of crazy things
Please tell me if i have gone mad. We have been no contact for 7 weeks. Then last night i knew he was going to have an internet date round his house. So i went round to look through the curtain and then banged on the window and door for him to open it. He didn’t and sure enough there was a woman there. I was with him for 18 years. Please tell me am i out of order. And his mum and sister are so upset with me. His mum said he is so mad with me and will never speak to me again.
18 YRS????? no way , jose! I would have crawled through that window… so what … his mom and sis are never speaking to you again… GOOD… they did you a FAVOR!
23 year old guy here. I typically try to take the high road when it comes to breakups but this last one made me break. I recently proposed to my gf of two years. Two weeks later she broke up with me. She accused me of cheating, although I had been completely faithful. I found out later that she had actually cheated on me a week before the split which was one week after I proposed. And had already screwed multiple guys just days after the breakup. She also shut my phone off because she had been the primary account holder. We had an apartment together, and I had been paying all of our bills because she had decided to stop working because she didn’t feel like going. I tried being civil but after all the ways she was trying to screw me over financially and socially I decided to go to the apartment and destroy all of her belongings that she hadn’t picked up yet. I also sold anything of value and left a note informing her that I knew of her affair and since, in my eyes, we had practically been married, anything I sold of hers was my twisted way of taking alimony. I used that money to get my own phone account and pay off any remaining bills from breaking our lease. During the relationship I did start going through her phone because I felt like she was hiding things and sure enough found her on multiple dating sites, sending nudes to two exes, and so much more. She tried blaming me for anything I found saying I shouldn’t have looked through her phone. I made sure right then she knew that I refused to take the blame for her scandalous behavior. I don’t feel like anyone should have issues with their SO going through their phone if there’s nothing to hide. I had given her all my passwords and allowed her to go through my phone anytime she wanted because I wasn’t keeping secrets. I mean, this girl was crazy. I would get heated during arguments and try to walk away to calm down, and she would either corner me so I couldn’t walk away or follow me whenever I tried to. She would hit me and of course being the man, I wouldn’t fight back because I feared she would call the cops and try to accuse me of laying hands on her. But somehow she had everyone believing I was the monster and she was the angel. And thats not even the worst of it. So for all of you women out there that have done crazy things after a breakup, don’t beat yourself up. Men do it too. And quite frankly, I think most of us ‘crazy exes’ are justified in the things we’ve done if we stayed loyal to someone who put us through hell.
So to jump right to it my ex threw my clothes out the window because I smashed his Xbox and when he continued throwing my stuff out I broke all the windows to his car… 😦 not proud of my actions but what’s done is done. Should of never been flirting with females on social media n treating me like crap…
I was the “mistress” to this guy for a year. He kept telling me that he was going to break up with her & promising me we would get move in together, get married etc soon, & he was just building up the courage to leave her. He finally left her for me but then 2 days later broke it off with me saying he couldn’t let her go. I was so angry and upset. I constantly emailed him and phoned their house wanting answers. His gf would always pick up so I would hang up but they worked out it was me and changed their number. He never replied to my emails so finally I messaged her on facebook telling her all the bad stuff he had said to me about her (he had said a life with her would be boring, that the sex was bad, that he had loved me more etc). I also sent naked pictures I had of him to her.
I’m really ashamed I took it out on her because I was mad at him not her and he was the one who deserved punishing not her. I also sent him lots of emails telling him what a jerk he was. I’m not proud of my actions and would normally describe myself as a calm, quiet and reasonable person! Haha. Losing what I thought was my soul mate certainly bought out the crazy in me!
So I think I’m the total crazy person .. I found out my ex met a girl while he was still with me before we officially ended things and I posted what he did with her all over the girls facebook and her friends pictures and on his work facebook page . I described everything that he did with her and how he should be ashamed . I am not proud of it and it completely made him go crazy and he told me to never contact him again and that He will erase me from his life and that I went to far .. But he will never understand how he treated me was wrong and that it deeply hurt me . I wanted to get his attention by posting what he did . Because he wouldn’t admit It and kept ignoring me to the point of me doing what I did and going completely crazy !!! Ughhhh
Im not too sure, but i think this is crazy i obsess. Its been 4 mo ths since she has left and not a day has gone by where i dont think about her still, over the past few weeks I’ve been doing my best to try and win her back. We have talked a few times, at one point she even agreed to come see me but cancelled shortly there after, i dont know where to go from here. I dont know if there is something worth fixing, if we xan be friends or if i shiuld just move on entirely. It was been almost 2 weeks since i last uave heard from her and i have tried to get in touch with her at least 3 more times, i guess thats about as crazy as it geta on my end, any advice?
last night after my dude (well not JUST mine… ) long story short: I have been seeing him seven months… a couple of months ago I found out he lived with the mother of his THREE KIDS….my heart at this point is in it… im weak, so he pulled the ole BATTERY ON PHONE IS DEAD..*click*, his chick is obviously giving him BS for rolling in late from work especially Fridays…crazy me popped out… I travelled to his house , 30 miles away…. seen him coming down the road… pulled my car around, put the brights on and honked the horn until he pulled over. I hopped out, got in his window and let him understand what an MFer he is! now im sick to my stomach, I miss him… and always will! BYE MY SWEET LIAR JAY! I LOVE YOU ALWAYSSSS
I admit to being too crazy this person was very unhealthy and had an emotional hold on me he would take me back and then push me away all the time controlling I was sick of the abuse . I wanted to be loved by the person I met so long ago he was no longer him. I went to his job and put two small dents in his precious car that he never would have had without my help. I felt sick afterwards I just wanted him to feel my pain my hurt that he caused me. He dogs me out and then wants to love me. It’s hurts to know all the loving times where all fake. It hurts that I invested so much and gained little.
When me and my ex broke up I took his dog and kept him over night
I’ve also chased him up the road crying I broke my fridge too so I could go round and ask him to help me fix it I’ve gone fully loaded crazed with him
I did a strip tease for my ex’s ex girlfriend to get back at my ex. Yes, you read that right. My ex ‘s ex girlfriend.
I have been driving myself crazy. Its now been 4 weeks exactly and I am still driving past his previous exs house to see if he has gone back to her. I also drive a different route sometimes to see if I can catch him, and although I took his best friend off my Facebook friendlist yesterday, I still go looking and I have not idea why. My ex doesn’t even have Facebook (as far as I know) I don’t know how to stop the sinking feeling and to pull myself back. I know 4 weeks is nothing, but I always feel like an absolute fool. My head is 100% telling me he wasn’t worth it, you deserve better, but he promised me everything, pulled the rug, and now I feel lost….. and he’s winning cause I chase for an answer, a reason, or chase for something that in truth I know will never happen.