10 Things I Learned in 2010

Happy New Year! Photo courtesy of Morgan

As the last day of 2010 is upon us, I’ve been reflecting on this past year. Admittedly, this year was not at all what I expected it would be. This was the year I was supposed to get married and begin my happily ever after. I look around my new apartment, at my friends (new and old), at this blog and at the plethora of experiences I’ve had this year, and I can’t help but feel amazed at where I am right now. I have been through a lot this year, and things are vastly different from what I could have imagined, but I’m no longer depressed or even pissed off about it. I’m really starting to believe (and not just tell myself) that everything happens for a reason.

And you know what? I’ve learned a lot this year. Here’s my (in no way comprehensive) list of 10 things I learned in 2010:

1. People sometimes let you down. BUT, what I really learned is: More often than not, people exceed your expectations. There are some bad apples out there, but most people are good with good intentions. If you give them the chance, they will amaze you. You just have to believe in them.
2. There are people who have never experienced the hot water running out in the shower. This was a shocker to me. About ¾ of the time I shower, I run out of hot water. But there are some people who have never in their life taken a shower long enough to run out of hot water. This concept is foreign to them. Craziness. Perhaps I should consider a shower shorter than 20 minutes, eh?
3. Love doesn’t conquer all. And the definition of love is not “when you love someone, you can’t live without them.” Perhaps I’ve watched one too many romantic comedies, but I sincerely thought that if you loved someone enough, you’d get your happy ending with them, no matter what. Sometimes that isn’t true; sometimes love just isn’t enough. But that’s OK. And, you can love someone with everything you have, but still be able to live without them. There are times when you have to move on, no matter how much love there is.
4. There is absolutely something to the law of attraction. I have seen it work this year, stating my intentions and watching them be realized. One example is my Freshly Pressed post. Just a few days before one of my September blog posts was Freshly Pressed, I shared with a room full of people how important my writing was to me, and how I wanted to build upon this passion that I had just rediscovered. I casually mentioned to friends that someday, I wanted to be Freshly Pressed. And then, after a few short months blogging, it happened. Not only was it fun and exciting, it was like a confirmation that I was on the right track. Oh, and I definitely believe in signs and need to remember the swans.
5. Even if a gas station is closed, you usually can still use the gas pump and buy gas with a credit/debit card. Um, I actually just learned this one the other night. Who knew? Oh, and this is an equally random fact so I’m going to give you a two for one here, but did you know that restaurants have to have companies pick up their leftover grease? Obviously, restaurants go through a lot of grease, but then they have to find a way to get rid of it. They sell the grease and it’s used for tons of different things, including fuel and makeup. For the record, I learned probably more than I need to know about the restaurant industry from Chef this year.
6. How to plan a wedding. And subsequently, how to cancel a wedding. Planning my wedding helped me figure out what I want (and don’t want) out of a wedding, but more importantly, out of a marriage. And cancelling the wedding taught me a lot about letting go of material things I loved. Letting go of my engagement ring, my dress, the whole perfect day I’d built up in my mind was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But the next time I go down that path again (down that aisle again, haha), I’m going to be so much better prepared. Even if I’m not the woman I used to be.
7. Women who chase men only catch the slow ones. Crystal from Crystal Spins said this to me one (or more) times, and it has really stuck with me. Should I call him after I gave him my number and he didn’t call me like he said he would? Um, no. Should I pursue him all the time? Definitely not. Men that are worth it will put in the effort to show me they are interested. The man with whom I will ultimately want to end up will hold their own in our relationship. It’s that simple.
8. You teach people how to treat you. If you accept behavior that you believe is unacceptable, you are giving someone permission to treat you that way. If you let deal breakers slide, they are no longer deal breakers (and you can’t call them that). Teach people that you will only accept to be treated well, and that’s what you’ll get. And don’t forget the Maya Angelou quote, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
9. Being single doesn’t suck. Okay, there are times it sucks (especially when it seems there is a Good Men Shortage). But there are some really great things about being single that I’ve had the chance to experience this year. And I’m still discovering new things to love about being single.
10. The relationship you have with yourself is the hardest one to get right. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s harder for me to love myself than it is to love someone else. It’s easier for me to tear myself down than it is to treat myself well and build myself up. Romantic love is not the thing on which I want to focus and master. Developing and sustaining a love for myself is. And that’s a huge priority for me in 2011.

What did you learn in 2010? Is there anything you are hoping to learn in 2011? Have you made any New Year’s resolutions beyond the standard lose weight/be healthier/get rich? I’d love to hear them!

Happy New Year! I wish each of you nothing but the best for 2011. It’s going to be a great year!